SERIOUSLY OT: Keep whoring alive, it's THREAD #5!!!

I missed this in my whoring... and now I'm sad :frown:

Your off your game today.

Your off your game today.

Shmokin, lokin, and fuckin up jokes

Shmokin, lokin, and fuckin up jokes

So I'm trying to stop smoking again.... its gotten out of hand. :(

So I'm trying to stop smoking again.... its gotten out of hand. :(

I feel you. Things tend to get out of hand quickly at this stage in the game

When the little girl says "dont go in the closet", you dont go in that closet

she went in the closet

she went in the closet
"RUN, BITCH! HE GONNA KIIILLLLL YOU!"- B-Rad

So I have this jacket that I've had for a good 5-7 years now, problem is its like this canvas material and is not water proof in any way. I'm wandering how I could go about water proofing it without like sewing plastic to the outside or something. I wander if like parafin wax rubbed/melted on it would water proof? Or maybe that shit you spray on your shoes to water proof them? That stuff never seems to work other than the demo model in the store though... Maybe you have to put the entire can on the shoe.... I dunno. I know you can get this stuff http://youtu.be/hoKXTlqmUb8 at Lowes and its fucking awesome btw, but its like whiteish and has an odd feeling to it... it might be ok on white shoes but I wouldn't use it on any other fabrics. I think most any coating is going to change the color in some way though. Hmm.... Maybe I'll just wear it only on sunny days. because we have a lot of those in Oregon. I think I got it at Target, maybe if I go in and talk to their tech department we can figure out a solution? Surely someone else purchased this jacket in the spring of 2007 and over time became annoyed at its absorbancy... if it were a tampon commercial it would be the one that absorbs all the blue mystery fluid. You could swim and ride horses and walk on the beach without seagulls attacking your cooch. What do birds put on their wings to make them waterproof?

You just got a $500 watch.... go spring for a jacket with a liner you cheap bastard

You just got a $500 watch.... go spring for a jacket with a liner you cheap bastard

I wish

http://www.swissluxury.com/breitling-watches-avenger-ii-seawolf-stainless-steel-bracelet.htm?gclid=CMvUgaDK8boCFUlyQgodeRIAKw#1816 6

Just because.....

http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/elaine.gif

I wish

http://www.swissluxury.com/breitling-watches-avenger-ii-seawolf-stainless-steel-bracelet.htm?gclid=CMvUgaDK8boCFUlyQgodeRIAKw#1816 6

GOTDAM SON!!

I figured $500 was low balling, but not sure by how much!

Just because.....

http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/elaine.gif

Wasn't that refereed to as the thumb dance?

Not sure if it was given an official name, but that would be appropriate. I call it the thumbs n kicks dance... or just "the Elaine dance"

Not sure if it was given an official name, but that would be appropriate. I call it the thumbs n kicks dance... or just "the Elaine dance"

I call it part of what made "The Seinfeld Curse".

I call it part of what made "The Seinfeld Curse".

Cursed by its own popularity? Or cursed cause the dance was so terrible?

Cursed by its own popularity? Or cursed cause the dance was so terrible?

First one.

Cursed by its own popularity? Or cursed cause the dance was so terrible?

Were you a fan of Curb Your Enthusiasm?

First one.

Oh you mean like how the audience cheered every time they got a sniff of a Kramer appearance for the first four years? That'll drag you down into "gimmick show" territory

Were you a fan of Curb Your Enthusiasm?

Fux yes I'm a fan of Curb. Got a little silly toward the end with the Blacks but Curb is my shit!!

I used to have a roommate that loved it. I had never seen it before, fell in love also.

I used to have a roommate that loved it. I had never seen it before, fell in love also.

I agree with the title of this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7BgOYPNTlA

I agree with the title of this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7BgOYPNTlA

LOL I needed that at 8am... Set the tone for the whole day.

LOL I needed that at 8am... Set the tone for the whole day.

Remember.... leave that door open so they know you were up in there

Remember.... leave that door open so they know you were up in there

Always.

Always.

Its national Hug a Runner day....


Ain't nobody got time for that...

Its national Hug a Runner day....


Ain't nobody got time for that...


So if I see a hot piece of ass jogging toward me, its finally cool for me to hug her without warning!?!? Awesome

So if I see a hot piece of ass jogging toward me, its finally cool for me to hug her without warning!?!? Awesome

hug her with your hands... and your feelings.

I've been practicing hugging with my wang. I'm pretty good at it actually

I've been practicing hugging with my wang. I'm pretty good at it actually

I've been practicing hugging with my wang. I'm pretty good at it actually

What the deuce? I used quote and still doubled up. I wonder how long until we just CAN'T post here anymore?

WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE SPOSED TO GO!?!?!?

What about my leeeeegs Charlie Murphyyyyy!?!?!

What the deuce? I used quote and still doubled up. I wonder how long until we just CAN'T post here anymore?

WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE SPOSED TO GO!?!?!?

I see no quote... I think by quote you mean "smoked crack".

I see no quote... I think by quote you mean "smoked crack".



Guys... stop being rude... introduce yourselves.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v608/thesilentchamber/IMG_00000375_zps8081b276.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v608/thesilentchamber/IMG_00000374_zpsd49fe4d4.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v608/thesilentchamber/IMG_00000377_zps9f4bf200.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v608/thesilentchamber/IMG_00000376_zpsdd8595c4.jpg

Guys... stop being rude... introduce yourselves.




Breaking them in both simultaneously :D

Both are full color change too... and the big one is THICK... like... chick that works over nights at 7 Eleven thick...

Guys... stop being rude... introduce yourselves.
Ok ok, I will reluctantly give in to peer pressure and post my tobacco consuming devices. I have a total of 4 devices. I've certainly owned more than these over my lifetime, but these are the ones I have left, and haven't been broken. Warning, one of these (the first I'll be posting) is absolutely disgusting, covered in mold, and hasn't been used or cleaned in about 8 years. Sorry if the pics are too big. I'm still using a horrible CRT monitor at the moment, that is tiny, and is insanely dark.

#1, my water pipe, named Mr. Burns. This is my water pipe that hasn't been clean or used in about 8 years. It is acrylic, with a ceramic base filled with sand, where the water pipe part actually unscrews from the base (that was a rainbow color when I purchased it & sequentially spray painted black and written on with glow-in-the-dark paint). It's gimmicky, where you can unscrew the main part from the base, to use it, but the base is made as an anti-tip over water pipe.
http://imageshack.com/a/img202/1465/bhxr.jpg
http://imageshack.com/a/img585/7204/b27k.jpg

Next is my tobacco pipe that I use specifically for desperate times, when I have the urge to smoke previously smoked tobacco resin, or a tobacco product that rhymes with ash. (Yeah the rainbow color is pretty lame, but it was cheap when I bought it 12 years ago).
http://imageshack.com/a/img35/6061/rrta.jpg
Ok, now for the real, and useful devices. First off, is the tobacco pipe that I've had for quite a few years now. It was cheap (probably under $20 because I was sick of breaking more expensive stuff), but it had a look that I appreciated, enough to purchase. It has served me very well over the years.
http://imageshack.com/a/img826/9749/u6lk.jpg
http://imageshack.com/a/img707/7650/gkmd.jpg
Then there's my smaller one. I use this regularly, because my tolerance for tobacco is at a low level atm. I got this as a "gift" from a friend who for some reason expected me to use it for some kind of synthetic marijuana (that he also provided), that I had no intention of using, and is currently illegal in NY State anyways. It's actually pretty decent for how I use it, so I currently use it as my primary device for tobacco use.
http://imageshack.com/a/img801/3161/e3qg.jpg
http://imageshack.com/a/img801/334/0hm9.jpg

I like the colors on that bottom one. And I commend you for hanging onto pieces for that long, All of mine are two years are younger as I didn't bring any with me when I moved. I have somewhat of a pipe buying addiction. In the last two months or so since I started smoking again I've purchased I think 5 new pieces, including the two today. I think total including the ... water pipe... is like 17/18ish. I know its right under 20. I'm planning on collecting enough to make an end table with them all recessed into the top of it. Also I have a hunch that in 100 years they will be worth a bundle. Because I watch American Pickers. So I see it as an investment.

You guys are shitting on my measly collection of pieces.

That Mr Burns tho... eexxxxxxxccelllennnnnntt

So here's my roster of smoke helpers...

The last man on the bench right now is this guy

http://i862.photobucket.com/albums/ab184/cpitts1183/IMAG05631.jpg (http://s862.photobucket.com/user/cpitts1183/media/IMAG05631.jpg.html)

Clearly hasn't been cleaned (ever) casue I dont like the way it burns. There's no adjustable heat dial on this and it burns too hot and wastes a lot of vapor IMO. There's a shop near me that sells the wooden box kind with the heat dial for $55. I'm most likely gonna get that as my next device.

Next in the lineup is this lil guy

http://i862.photobucket.com/albums/ab184/cpitts1183/IMAG05601.jpg (http://s862.photobucket.com/user/cpitts1183/media/IMAG05601.jpg.html)

Nothing fancy. I think it was $25 when I bought it. Served me well for about 2 years as a change of pace from what was then my standard method....

http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/1357351030_rmOHS.jpg

And now... the star of the show, Marley. Its the only piece I ever took the time to name. Its also the only piece I have with a face on it.

http://i862.photobucket.com/albums/ab184/cpitts1183/IMAG05581.jpg (http://s862.photobucket.com/user/cpitts1183/media/IMAG05581.jpg.html)

Marley has carried the entire workload for the last 6 months or so... and I even built a home for him

http://i862.photobucket.com/albums/ab184/cpitts1183/IMAG05561.jpg (http://s862.photobucket.com/user/cpitts1183/media/IMAG05561.jpg.html)

Thats a crate lined with cardboard sitting in front of a Dyson bladeless fan sitting in front of my window which is shielded with a $5 fleece blanket from Walmart. This is my crowning achievement since it allows me to shmoke mostly undetected in the house.

Also in the picture are my living laptop (non work issued) sitting on top of my dead laptop (to get the desired viewing angle)

I used to have THE CHEAPEST piece of all time. It was a hookah I bought at a gas station one night. The dome part was a basketball and it worked exactly as well as a gas station hookah should... like shit.

I must have tossed it when I moved out of my apartment

Based on these graphs, Im on the way to becoming an endangered species

http://qzprod.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/ethnic-preferences2.png?w=1024&h=1162

Based on these graphs, Im on the way to becoming an endangered species



*does white male dance*

*does white male dance*

its about time you guys caught a break

I found out the [people] at my job made a video and put it on youtube for some reason.

There are no less than three people in this video that I've considered decapitating at some point

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD9y3ssCOU8

I found out the [people] at my job made a video and put it on youtube for some reason.

There are no less than three people in this video that I've considered decapitating at some point

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD9y3ssCOU8

I'm most certainly watching that later.


On A side note... I have no fucking clue what you do for a living.

I'm most certainly watching that later.


On A side note... I have no fucking clue what you do for a living.

Watching that video, while it definitely will give absolutely no insight as to what I/we do at my company, tells the whole story. We do shit... .we don't do it particularly well.... and to get better at it, we fuck off in hours and hours of meetings.

Well, they call it "working", I call it bullshit

If I spent all my spare time from 8-4 posting on AF, I'd have 15k by now, easily.

..and by my calculations, THIS post (tripled) will set me at 9,700.

I'm spent

..and by my calculations, THIS post (tripled) will set me at 9,700.

I'm spent

If I spent all my spare time from 8-4 posting on AF, I'd have 15k by now, easily.

Maybe even 30. You should apply yourself more, slacker.

If I spent all my spare time from 8-4 posting on AF, I'd have 15k by now, easily.

Maybe even 30. You should apply yourself more, slacker.

..and by my calculations, THIS post (tripled) will set me at 9,700.

I'm spent

HA! no triple post for you.

I found out the [people] at my job made a video and put it on youtube for some reason.

There are no less than three people in this video that I've considered decapitating at some point

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD9y3ssCOU8
OMG. I commend you for not killing yourself and others, from working there. Bean bag toss, egg drop game, process maps/charts...oh jesus the god damn charts! But at the same time, if Steve Carell was your boss, it looks like it could be a hit TV show.

HA! no triple post for you.

What the fizuck AF!?

HA! no triple post for you.

What the fizuck AF!?

OMG. I commend you for not killing yourself and others, from working there. Bean bag toss, egg drop game, process maps/charts...oh jesus the god damn charts! But at the same time, if Steve Carell was your boss, it looks like it could be a hit TV show.

Funny you say that cause in my infinite free time, I wrote a pilot for a tv show loosely based on where I now work. Now where is the ebay of tv shows so I can sell this shit?

Funny you say that cause in my infinite free time, I wrote a pilot for a tv show loosely based on where I now work. Now where is the ebay of tv shows so I can sell this shit?

So is it now the deal that unless we keep the actual quote box, then we get a Gateway 404 error and double post?

I had been hitting quote and then erasing the quote (cause fuck you guys, thats why) but thats not working for me now