SERIOUSLY OT: Keep whoring alive, it's THREAD #5!!!

I just realized, there is an entire trolling division that we have not been utilizing. There is now post now, which obviously we are aware of, but there is also the Thanks count... which we have not thus trolled.... we could easily under mutual agreement thank each other into this social schwarchzenageresch ego of like "holy fuck look at that guys thank count, mother fuck a goats ass."

You know what I'm sayin', boss?

I have no idea what you could possibly mean..... my Thanks count is naturally impressive

So meet the new family member.... I'll let you guys name her... Shes a lefty.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v608/thesilentchamber/IMG_00000339_zps3e7404d0.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v608/thesilentchamber/IMG_00000341_zps2e938f61.jpg

Largest bowl out of all my pipes. You can easily put two, possibly three grams in that bowl. Very larger pipe. Heavy.

What doooooooo you guys think?


I think she should be named Dreamsicle (sp)....... the whole thing "Dreamsicle (sp)"

With three grams in a bowl there's no way you would remember how to spell correctly anyway

When I hit 25-26 mine starting going at an astonishing pace. Earlier this year I just gave in and started shaving my head.

One of the saddest days of my "how the fuck old am I?" life was when paid for orthodontal braces work and a can of rogaine foam in the same dam day. I since gave up on trying to keep the hair and chose to try and keep the teeth.

One of the saddest days of my "how the fuck old am I?" life was when paid for orthodontal braces work and a can of rogaine foam in the same dam day. I since gave up on trying to keep the hair and chose to try and keep the teeth.

There should be some sort of program where if you're balding and under 30 then other shit should be free.... or at least heavily discounted.

Teachers have their own discounts for airlines and every day shit and all they do is put up with the youth of america for 7 hours a day. I'm losing dome coverage 24/7 and I want 30% off this burrito platter!!

One of the saddest days of my "how the fuck old am I?" life was when paid for orthodontal braces work and a can of rogaine foam in the same dam day. I since gave up on trying to keep the hair and chose to try and keep the teeth.

There should be some sort of program where if you're balding and under 30 then other shit should be free.... or at least heavily discounted.

Teachers have their own discounts for airlines and every day shit and all they do is put up with the youth of america for 7 hours a day. I'm losing dome coverage 24/7!!

One of the saddest days of my "how the fuck old am I?" life was when paid for orthodontal braces work and a can of rogaine foam in the same dam day. I since gave up on trying to keep the hair and chose to try and keep the teeth.

There should be some sort of program where if you're balding and under 30 then other shit should be free.... or at least heavily discounted.

Teachers have their own discounts for airlines and every day shit and all they do is put up with the youth of america for 7 hours a day. I'm losing dome coverage 24/7!!

There should be some sort of program where if you're balding and under 30 then other shit should be free.... or at least heavily discounted.

Teachers have their own discounts for airlines and every day shit and all they do is put up with the youth of america for 7 hours a day. I'm losing dome coverage 24/7!!

Man I agree. And you know what I learned? And I'm sure you know this lesson even more so being in icy hell of chicago... with no hair its cold a fuck during the winter! Especially when its on the brink of freezing and dripping in big juicy drops off the eve of the building, and your locking your door on the way to work in the morning and one smacks you right in the top of the head... its like a god damnaged rail road spike being drivin into your spine.

This thread is on assisted living right now.... and that's nothing to do with now many (few) members post here

What a shitty fucking weekend...plus.

Thursday or Friday I got some shit in my right eye, from my friend driving down a country back road. Shit just flew through his window and into the opposite eye. Constantly feels like there's something in my eye, randomly.

Saturday or Sunday, my computer monitor blows, so I'm stuck using some old as CTR Compaq monitor from my parent's basement (yeah...Compaq doesn't even freaking exist anymore). So I'm on a 14" or so CTR monitor posting this right now, and I'm actually LUCKY to be doing so...

Out of no where, on Sunday, my internet connection to my computer drops completely. Verizon's Tech chat says it's my computer's fault, and not their connection. Apparently this is true, because Windows is now asking me to Activate my Windows 8.1, even though I have Windows 8 stock. And Windows Defender gives me an error for their firewall. So being smart, I set up a Dell restore disc. as soons as I got this new computer for x-mas last year. Unfortunately Dell sux penis, and has a piracy programming built in, so when you partition a part of your hard drive as another drive, Dell's restoration program thinks your stock hard drive has been replaced, which means you're a fucking pirate of their software. Luckily my programmer brother bought me an external hard drive last year for x-mas, so I backed up all my porn...errr....I mean all my files (car service manuals, family photos, etc). Then I had to delete everything. I mean literally everything on my computer has been completely deleted (important stuff backed up of course).

I'm really not sure at this moment what happened to cause this issue. Clearly my internet connection went down. Also my Windows "Defender" Firewall had an error and refused to allow me to connect to the internet. Great "Defense" that Windows product is. All the Google searches I did provided no help, other than tell me that I got some bad malware or something, that destroyed my firewall. Oh yeah...then there's Windows telling me to activate my computer after updating to 8.1.

The basics of this post, fuck Dell & Microsoft. Viva la resistance!!!


Holy crap, Batman!

...and yet, its working fine again with the quote reply. Why the eff did it triple up my other post then?

I call shenanigans

...and yet, its working fine again with the quote reply. Why the eff did it triple up my other post then?

I call shenanigans


Dude I've noticed it too. This place is like a grumpy old man. We are playing very close to his yard.. and he cant wait till the frisby lofts over the fence, so he can shoot it out of the sky like its a clay pigeon.

Dude I've noticed it too. This place is like a grumpy old man. We are playing very close to his yard.. and he cant wait till the frisby lofts over the fence, so he can shoot it out of the sky like its a clay pigeon.

Well it is getting on in age. This thread is 74 by my count..... and its been wearing a diaper since 60

And since I went on about balding, I got hair loss ads in the banner at the bottom of the page. I want it to be about Asian singles again

Chinese single ladies

Japanese single ladies

Indian single ladies

Indonesian single ladies

Korean single ladies

....other Asian single ladies





come on banner ad... hook me up

Korean single ladies

....other Asian.


So I just bumped the eject button on the blue ray drive on my laptop... thing was packed with dust.... then I got to thinking, I think I've only actually used it maybe 3-5 times in the year and half that I've had this laptop.


Heh, old technology.

So I just bumped the eject button on the blue ray drive on my laptop... thing was packed with dust.... then I got to thinking, I think I've only actually used it maybe 3-5 times in the year and half that I've had this laptop.


Heh, old technology.

I bought my mom a Blu Ray player last Christmas... also bought a couple BR movies to get her started. She has yet to watch a single one.


Old(er) people > Old(er) technology


She won't even learn how to use the universal remote. Would rather use two or three at a time. :shakehead

When I was at my previous job (two years ago) she asked if I could get her a VCR with my employee discount from the company catalog (hospital equipment and supplies including room amenities).

I refused to participate in the purchase of technology from two decades ago. She was not pleased. She then hoped in her horse drawn carriage and took off down the cobbled road we live on. The local constable stopped her for illegally operating a vehicle while being a woman. He then sprayed her with a fire hose and sic'd the dogs on her.

Do white people find humor in fire hose comedy? Can they? Will white guilt allow it??

Its been years since I participated in a good ol fashioned race war on AF

Do white people find humor in fire hose comedy? Can they? Will white guilt allow it??

Its been years since I participated in a good ol fashioned race war on AF
I have no idea what fire hose comedy is.

I have no idea what fire hose comedy is.

Bet you wish you had yo rain coat right now!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHGjQcxSPfI

Bet you wish you had yo rain coat right now!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHGjQcxSPfI

LOL


In related news... it looks like god has turned a fire hose onto portland this morning. WTF... serious rain.

Do white people find humor in fire hose comedy? Can they? Will white guilt allow it??

Its been years since I participated in a good ol fashioned race war on AF

Do people in the projects really open fire hydrants on hot days, usually with an abandoned car near by?

Do people in the projects really open fire hydrants on hot days, usually with an abandoned car near by?

90s TV taught me this.

Do people in the projects really open fire hydrants on hot days, usually with an abandoned car near by?

Its kinda like the elders training the future generations for the impeding hosing... get them used to water while they're young... they'll be more prepared for the hosing later.

#hosing

Its kinda like the elders training the future generations for the impeding hosing... get them used to water while they're young... they'll be more prepared for the hosing later.

#hosing

You know, like the popular Mexican game of hoping your neighbors fence, then tending their garden?

Do people in the projects really open fire hydrants on hot days, usually with an abandoned car near by?

This really happens... maybe not so much anymore since they keep tearing down the projects. I think the fire departments started using different locks though so people ("you people") couldn't just crack em open at will.... raycess public works depts

You know, like the popular Mexican game of hoping your neighbors fence, then tending their garden?

The [Mexican] family that now lives next door to me has a small garden with one curious plant.... its a tv... an upsidedown tv

The [Mexican] family that now lives next door to me has a small garden with one curious plant.... its a tv... an upsidedown tv

http://i862.photobucket.com/albums/ab184/cpitts1183/IMAG0499.jpg (http://s862.photobucket.com/user/cpitts1183/media/IMAG0499.jpg.html)

Their lawn is immaculate though

Sorry but my white guilt will not allow me to participate in this conversation.

Sorry but my white guilt will not allow me to participate in this conversation.

He means his white power guilt.


Did you know Hitlers middle name was Spoon?

Their lawn is immaculate though
Ok...maybe this conversation.

OF COURSE their lawn is immaculate. I bet for Christmas, their daughter not only got that pink Razor scooter, but a leaf blower as well. She probably got a Home Depot credit card too, but likely won't find out about that until her 18th birthday when she applies for a school loan... if ya know what I mean.

He means his white power guilt.


Did you know Hitlers middle name was Spoon?
Ok you got me. But my name isn't really Adolf Spoon Hitler. It's actually Adolf Spoon MacLeod, of the Clan MacLeod (not that kind of clan). And yes, I am immortal, as well as the basis for an amazing movie, Highlander. Seriously, it won the Academy Award for the greatest movie ever. But really, it was all a huge misunderstanding. Some banker screwed up one of my deposits, then my lawyer over charged me, and then some Rabbi jewed me over on some some work I did on his Beetle. I lost my cool, and things just got out of hand after that.

http://i862.photobucket.com/albums/ab184/cpitts1183/IMAG0499.jpg (http://s862.photobucket.com/user/cpitts1183/media/IMAG0499.jpg.html)

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen....

Ok you got me. But my name isn't really Adolf Spoon Hitler. It's actually Adolf Spoon MacLeod, of the Clan MacLeod (not that kind of clan). And yes, I am immortal, as well as the basis for an amazing movie, Highlander. Seriously, it won the Academy Award for the greatest movie ever. But really, it was all a huge misunderstanding. Some banker screwed up one of my deposits, then my lawyer over charged me, and then some Rabbi jewed me over on some some work I did on his Beetle. I lost my cool, and things just got out of hand after that.

This is the greatest thing I've ever read.

Ok...maybe this conversation.

OF COURSE their lawn is immaculate. I bet for Christmas, their daughter not only got that pink Razor scooter, but a leaf blower as well. She probably got a Home Depot credit card too, but likely won't find out about that until her 18th birthday when she applies for a school loan... if ya know what I mean.

You live next to Dora the Explorer?

Do people in the projects really open fire hydrants on hot days, usually with an abandoned car near by?
I don't know about the projects (the only time I've been down there was to buy heroin), but they do it throughout the city of Syracuse.

Seriously, they close down public swimming pools during mid summer, and always for the hottest damn week. Why? Who the hell knows, but every frigging year they have a reason. Then they announce that they will fine people for "wading" in a huge fountain right in downtown, that they have no problem using as a big ass skating rink during the winter. Raycess for fucking real.

But all summer long, if I drive pretty much anywhere in any side of the City, I can find a corner with a spraying hydrant. But here's the kicker, I never see anyone actually anywhere near it LOL. Presumably someone cracked it open for their kids & local kids to cool off for a little while, and then just left that shit open all freaking day. Driving around at night, not a single one is open, just a big puddle at the corner of the street.

I don't know about the projects (the only time I've been down there was to buy heroin), but they do it throughout the city of Syracuse.

Seriously, they close down public swimming pools during mid summer, and always for the hottest damn week. Why? Who the hell knows, but every frigging year they have a reason. Then they announce that they will fine people for "wading" in a huge fountain right in downtown, that they have no problem using as a big ass skating rink during the winter. Raycess for fucking real.

But all summer long, if I drive pretty much anywhere in any side of the City, I can find a corner with a spraying hydrant. But here's the kicker, I never see anyone actually anywhere near it LOL. Presumably someone cracked it open for their kids & local kids to cool off for a little while, and then just left that shit open all freaking day. Driving around at night, not a single one is open, just a big puddle at the corner of the street.

Fire departments open them periodically to get sediment out of the lines. Probably whats going on?

Fire departments open them periodically to get sediment out of the lines. Probably whats going on?

On a related topic, the hydrants at my apartment say IOWA on them.... (I live in Oregon)...

You live next to Dora the Explorer?Naw, just a bunch of Polacks. I just happen to live in an area where the basis of stereotypes began apparently. If I drive in the city there are a shit load of Mexicans standing around in the morning, in front of Home Depot & Lowes, looking for work. I had no idea that stereotype was real until my Korean friend pointed out that his dad hires them for construction & yard work on a regular basis.

Fire departments open them periodically to get sediment out of the lines. Probably whats going on?
Very possible. Maybe I'm just a severely repressed racist that thinks people of the black and puerto rican communities illegally open fire hydrants to cool off on a hot day, rather than it being a typical maintenance measure. Thanks for calling me out on that man.

On a related topic, the hydrants at my apartment say IOWA on them.... (I live in Oregon)...
WTF does the IO stand for? Maybe part of the county? My local area tower says OCWA (Onondaga County Water Association). When I was a kid, I knew water pronounced in Spanish was Agua, but had no idea how it was spelled. So I was always confused why the tower was written in Spanish and not English.

Ok, so my friend decided he wanted to be a professional comedian about a year ago. He's always been a very funny person, and it certainly doesn't hurt that he has a resemblance to Chris Farley. He's come up with quite a few jokes that were pretty good, IMO. But he bugs the shit out of me to think of jokes for him. I've only come up with one joke, that he'll never use. So here it is for my enjoyment...

So I thought of this invention the other day. It's a Jello mold of a vagina. It's perfect, because once you've finished, you have something to eat. The only problem is, that you still need a woman to cook it for you.

Well wait a minute... how long does he plan to last as a comedian if he has no jokes!?

So I thought of this invention the other day. It's a Jello mold of a vagina. It's perfect, because once you've finished, you have something to eat. The only problem is, that you still need a woman to cook it for you.

^this shit is quality though

....completely disgusting, and quality. I'm actually picturing a jello vag "after"

:puke:

Now that I think of it, I'm gonna use this joke tomorrow at the bar and see where it gets me. Thats a great conversation starter

Now that I think of it, I'm gonna use this joke tomorrow at the bar and see where it gets me. Thats a great conversation starter

I feel like I could make something racist out of this

http://kleincast.com/maps/mcrib.php

I feel like I could make something racist out of this

http://kleincast.com/maps/mcrib.php


:eek7: ....is this the black equivalent to the hunt for Elvis?

And what's with "spotting" the McRib?? Is it hiding out in the forests of America? Do only Bigfoot and la Chupacabra know how to get one??

lame ass interweb won't let me poach a pic of Sasquatch and a McRib. Fuck you interweb

Just had a [ridiculous] project killed off due to overwhelming shittiness so I think Im gonna watch this on repeat til 3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGJb2iLvOKE

lame ass interweb won't let me poach a pic of Sasquatch and a McRib. Fuck you interweb

http://www.thedisabledcubicle.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/4Zm931Ch-299x398.jpg

:eek7: ....is this the black equivalent to the hunt for Elvis?

Do black people even like the McRib... while I didn't know for fact, I did do quite a bit of assuming.

Do black people even like the McRib... while I didn't know for fact, I did do quite a bit of assuming.

It has "rib" in the name and its at McDonalds, odds are definitely in its favor with "the community"

If Sharpton, Jackson or Farrakhan ever read this thread, I'm gonna be white balled



(that's what is called when black people are ostracized)

If Lil Wayne, Jeezy, or Wocka Flocka ever read this thread, they're gonna white ball me for using the word "ostracized"

I've already been outcast by BLU cause I'm too pale for a colored.

Side note: I was recently referred to as "a colored" by a friend and they weren't trying to be raycess

They succeeded, but they weren't trying

They succeeded, but they weren't trying

Did you take today off to whore this thread? If do, why did I not get an e vite?

Did you take today off to whore this thread? If do, why did I not get an e vite?

... turn the light on an they all scramble... figures.

My job is a joke. I spent half the day looking at movie reviews for shit to add to my netflix queue and the other half recruiting a happy hour group. Not a bad gig if you can survive the stupidity and insanity