SERIOUSLY OT: Calling all chicks! IT'S PART 6!!

Im a slow reader. This took me four minutes and you'll be receiving an invoice soon. My time costs major coin. You're in the hole for upwards of 19 Banlandian cents..... but we can settle out of court for everyone's favorite small person, Emmanuel Lewis. I always wanted to own a Webster
Hey now. You could have read it while you were in one of your meetings. Then you'd owe me, for giving you something to do that was less boring.

I think he was busy... walking the dog.


wagging the dog...

Wagging your mom! OHHHHhhhh what? I already did the Dice thing? Fuck

My mom's 72... have at it.


Sick fuck.

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/1c/1cebec2231097d192e8f3517dd4017f257d90a2cedaf31260a 1177e76add7ad3.jpg

Rofl.

So I clicked on a link from Yahoo! that said it was the top watched YouTube video of 2013. It's this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jofNR_WkoCE

When people first started posting online about it, asking "what does the fox say?", I assumed it was referencing the CarFax commercial, with the fox, that clearly states "what does the fox say?" Then I heard it was a song... yada yada yada. Well I decided to watch it, after all this time.

I lasted about 1:03 and then lost all hope for humanity. Seriously, there are large amounts of people who find this shit entertaining?! This kind of thing makes me think that I should just forget my dream of winning the lottery, learning to play a few chords on the guitar & bass, buying some recording equipment, and writing some songs, to make millions. Seems more likely to happen, and far easier.

The older the berry, the sweeter the juice

look at this sweet piece of ass

http://imrud.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/bettygrable.jpg

The older the berry, the sweeter the juice

I think its blacker the berry, sweeter the juice...

So I clicked on a link from Yahoo! that said it was the top watched YouTube video of 2013. It's this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jofNR_WkoCE

When people first started posting online about it, asking "what does the fox say?", I assumed it was referencing the CarFax commercial, with the fox, that clearly states "what does the fox say?" Then I heard it was a song... yada yada yada. Well I decided to watch it, after all this time.

I lasted about 1:03 and then lost all hope for humanity. Seriously, there are large amounts of people who find this shit entertaining?! This kind of thing makes me think that I should just forget my dream of winning the lottery, learning to play a few chords on the guitar & bass, buying some recording equipment, and writing some songs, to make millions. Seems more likely to happen, and far easier.


http://youtu.be/foMQX9ZExsE

look at this sweet piece of ass

http://imrud.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/bettygrable.jpg

I'd knock the dust off that...

Fours... posts whores.

Every time I walk into 7Eleven and see these I laugh a little.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tHMlKrHc4LI/Udd8CFIg-hI/AAAAAAAC97U/-0wihIEjlrk/s1600/soda+shaq+hero+IIHIH.jpg

I tried it, its gross

But were you drunk though??? Non-sober they actually dont cause the vomit

I'd knock the dust off that...

I didnt realize that there was NSFW Betty White shit out there on the interweb. I almost posted it before I took a closer look.

The orange one is actually good (enough for 99cents).

I think you just like the picture on the can... possibly while you're on the can

I don't think so, Tim.

Ever had a girl/chick/woman (whatever your pleasure) try so hard to trick you into defiling on her schedule that you didn't do her out of spite? That's been my day...... and I'm pretty proud of it

by defiling... what are we talking here?

Talking somewhat regular defiling although she did used to tell me to choke her... that was different

But I defile when I want to dammit, not cause I get a really overproof text at 8:55 am

As the late great Dr Patrice O'Neal said "ladies, you need to realize that men value their time like you value your p***y"

Why is it that its perfectly fine to say all kinds of foul shit and spell it out here, but for some reason seeing p-u-s-s-y spelled out seems inappropriate?

Fucksupwithat?

Talking somewhat regular defiling although she did used to tell me to choke her... that was different

remember, push don't squeeze...


I can't tell you how many holes I had to dig in the woods before I learned that....

HA! I remember the little PSA's that used to be littered across NBC. Man I haven't watched NBC in a decade or better, once I got to where I made enough money to afford cable (never had it growing up) I never returned to the big 3.

I just got perma-banned from 7-Eleven.

You tried to warm your wang on the hot dog roller again, didnt you?

:nono:

Being old and decrepit blows. Fucking threw my back out this morning lifting sacks of potatoes (really)

Being old and decrepit blows. Fucking threw my back out this morning lifting sacks of potatoes (really)

I feel like there is a racial joke in here somewhere...

There always is at least one.... if I was Irish it would be a cake walk

I do have the back problems of a career slave though

....is it a "career slave"?? Can something be a career when you dont get paid?

But its not like slaves were interns... hmmmm

And no wang in the wang warmer, this time.

Non english speaking mother fucker wouldnt sell me beer. I walk up the counter and throw down my beer, he says "ID" I say "dont have one" he says "ID" I take off my cap and say "I'm fucking bald, hows that for an ID?" he repeats "ID" (pretty sure this is one of 4 English words this mother knows) so I say "are you fucking serious?" and he repeats "ID". I'm getting god damn pissed at this point, so I shove the beer across the counter so he has to catch it to keep it from falling off and say "fucking keep it" and walk out, go to the store next door, buy beer no questions asked. Walk back into 7 eleven... crack one open, take a drink and announce "FUCK YOU " and point at him and walk out.

I should also throw in that this 7-Eleven is right next to my apartment, I have litterally been buying beer there for over two years and never once even questioned about age (I'm 28, and I do not look young)

:rofl: you could have resolved that with a hug instead and probably got your brew for the free.... or maybe a tug job

...but in Random 7-Eleven Worker's defense, the sign does say "Under 40 Must Show ID"


Just sayin

I have some sympathy for cashier types from my years manning various cash drawers and swithboards

:rofl: you could have resolved that with a hug instead and probably got your brew for the free.... or maybe a tug job

Heh, funny you mention that. I actually called sears customer service the other day to complain about one particular store here (long story) and after about 20 minutes on the phone with this young lady talking about my issue with the store she files the report and says "normally we offer a $5 gift card when people call in, but you were the first person today that has called in and has not yelled at me or cursed at me, so I'm going to send you a $20 gift card because that's the most that I can personally authorize". Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D

...but in Random 7-Eleven Worker's defense, the sign does say "Under 40 Must Show ID"


Just sayin

Ones here say under 27.

Oh fizuck.... I assumed that was a national thing

This whole thread is really informational like that...

Normally I'm pretty calm, but for some reason that guy really pissed me off.

When they uncover the interweb 3000 years from now and look back at primative society, they will see this site and know that we were truly leaders of society and high culture

I have a hoodie that says in really sweet scroll work letters "Fucking Classy". I feel like wearing it to the forums now.

OHHHH I suggest you google image "fucking classy".. some nice work there, boys.

Normally I'm pretty calm, but for some reason that guy really pissed me off.

I keep pretty calm with people until I feel like they think they're smarter than me in the given situation... that pisses me off every time. Unless they are legit smarter than me, in which case I usually will take note and STFU

I keep pretty calm with people until I feel like they think they're smarter than me in the given situation... that pisses me off every time. Unless they are legit smarter than me, in which case I usually will take note and STFU

I keep calm until the other person doesn't speak English or has no reasoning abilities. I'm fully open to immigration, but I believe anyone moving to this country should speak English. Period. If they want to speak their native language to their own people here, teach their kids, great- but they should speak English also. That one pisses me off every goddamn time.

OHHHH I suggest you google image "fucking classy".. some nice work there, boys.

I didnt see anything remarkable (translation: naked women) but the words fucking classy remind me of this

http://image.spreadshirt.com/image-server/v1/compositions/3794812/views/1,width=280,height=280,appearanceId=2.png/jesus-tuxedo-t-shirt-i-want-to-be-formal-but-i-am-here-to-party-t-shirt_design.png

You must have safe search on... because I got a few porn worthys.

I keep calm until the other person doesn't speak English or has no reasoning abilities. I'm fully open to immigration, but I believe anyone moving to this country should speak English. Period. If they want to speak their native language to their own people here, teach their kids, great- but they should speak English also. That one pisses me off every goddamn time.

I never really run into that in Chicago. Most Mexcans do at least try to learn English so they can work here, but every once in a while you mght find an old lady who only hablos.


...and by "mexican" I mean all Hispanic people here. In Chicago, youre white or your black or youre mexican or youre indian. Any other claim will get you a blank stare

"Honduras??? Is that a city in Mexico?"

The one time I really visited Miami and tried to do regular shit, I learned that they have no time for my english-only ass. Friend of mine had to order my gotdam sammich for me cause he hablos fluently

I never really run into that in Chicago. Most Mexcans do at least try to learn English so they can work here, but every once in a while you mght find an old lady who only hablos.


...and by "mexican" I mean all Hispanic people here. In Chicago, youre white or your black or youre mexican or youre indian. Any other claim will get you a blank stare

"Honduras??? Is that a city in Mexico?"

Same here with the Hispanic, most of them do speak english, at least well enough to communicate. Here its the indian and middle eastern people that do not speaka the engrish.

In portland very few black people exist, Mexicans are here, but not in the city, once you go out to some of the ... um.... more lower priced outlying areas you will find them. TUNS of asians. If blu came here, he'd have to be hospitalized for dehydration.

Heh, know what a Mexican and a Cue ball have in common?


... Harder you hit them the more English you get.


(that's a billards joke, if you don't get it)

You must have safe search on... because I got a few porn worthys.

I stand corrected.... found a classy lady with another classy lady on her face with a classy gentleman not far behind her (double that entendre please)