SERIOUSLY OT: Calling all chicks! IT'S PART 6!!

Can I fit a few more dashes and commas in that post? I think not.

I once had this idiot girl at my apartment and was geting ready to take her home at about 2 or 3 in the morning.

I asked "so... you about ready to roll?"

This moron says "Oh I figured I would just stay"

I says "but I get up before 6 to go to work"

She says "I'm gonna stay here while youre at work"


She was home in 20 minutes

You come home: Oh, she cleaned.... oh she cleaned so well that all my stuff is gone. Great.

Exactly!


I met you online... fucked you within 4 hours of meeting you.... and you think Im gonna let you stay in my place while Im at work for 8-10 hours?? Dont think so

"bitch I don't trust you, we just met and I just fucked you"

Or something along them lines, Eminem.

from "superman". I think you got that right

earlier today I randomly remembered one of my favorite Em lines

Met on the 2nd
Wed on the 3rd
and she's DEAD on the 4th

-Dead Wrong

"bitch I don't trust you, we just met and I just fucked you"

Or something along them lines, Eminem.

How in the motherfuck does AF pull these magic tricks where other posts split double posts??

I think this thread is smoking crack behind the SafeWay.

Do people still smoke crack? It seems like meth has generally replaced a lot of the bottom of the barrel drugs like crack.

I suspect (not that I have any proof) that crack is still the bottom feeder drug in the poorer blacker community while the meth has made its way up to the slightly less poor levels of a much more white and sometimes hispanic community



Granted, alot of this opinion is based on watching The Wire and Breaking Bad

Now that you mention it, everyone I know that messed with it fit your classification.

pretty sure crack is still the drug of choice for the dealers in the poorer blacker community though. You gotta do so much "extra" shit to make meth. Crack is alot simpler and the distribution lines have been in place for decades

This guy is trying to make sure crack isnt forgotten in the white community though

http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/rob-ford-camera-smash-big.gif

LOL that guy is great. Damn Canadians.

He really is one of my favorite people. When he talked about eating some reporters pussy during an interview I wished he was my mayor

Have you seen the Amazon series Alpha House? Has John Goodman as a senator, comedy. Pretty funny, no crack smoking though.

ALSO, the episode of Always Sunny where they all start smoking crack is one of my favorites.

Pretty sure it was here that I first heard of it, but I havent seen it. I dont have the Amazon streaming service. I'm guessing it wont be on netflix..... ever


Always Sunny though...... that shit was great. Doesn't top Kitten Mittens but one of the better ones

Those kittens are making toooo muuuuuch noooooiisssee!!

You can watch the first 4 episodes for free I think. Get you all hooked then do the bait and switch. I buy so much shit off amazon that its worth while to have Amazon Prime just for the shipping savings, the streaming service is just a bonus.

Hmm I think my sister has Prime. Maybe I can pirate her Amazon like she pirates my netflix

Indeed.

t-1hour until I'm off work.

but I'm meeting up with someone 30 minutes after I get off.. and its only a 1 minute walk from my job. Guess I'll have to show up 29 minutes early and pound beers until they show.

thats enough time for what, 6 or 7 beers?

I was thinking 29 minutes 29 beers... Maybe I'm being over ambitious?

You can do it..... you just gotta believe

insert that terribly overused Journey song here

Journey... pft.

While at the bar I seen a poster for a local cider company- slogan: "Cider so hard you'll blush."

I approve.



http://youtu.be/SWfUp70XMLI

This just hit me




:rofl: Keepin it the fuck real :thumbsup:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh shit. That did not come out how I meant it to. LOFL. Damn, that came out like I'm a total racist prick elsewhere, but on here, I won't be one, if it's offensive. Shit, I feel like a douche. I just meant if I was wrong, and it was offensive (not sure anyone here could be offended by anything honestly), that I would not make such stereotypical comments again.

Dude, that comment and the following truth was the best thing ever.

[shameless self promotion]

https://www.facebook.com/BitterEndDesign

Latest post has 77 likes... Just saying... it could stand to be 79 :/ For only moments of your time you could like and share my page, and for that I won't do shit for a kid in Africa.

[/end]

For every like you get me, she takes a hit and removes 2 pieces of clothing.

http://www.thenug.com/sites/default/pub/010614/thenug-g1KJV310nK.jpg

You sir, are dead on accurate! She is one of the drunk people in this picture

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1951_725881969637_8618_n.jpg
Shit, much better than the last bitch I tapped. She had small saggy tits, and only wore some crazy ass puzzle pieced workout bras, that had zippers in the front and shit. I mean damn, I just mastered unhooking a bra with one hand, and then I had to deal with that shit.

But I never would have guessed Polish. But dammmmmn she has some big ol' ta-tas.

Thank you Mr. Arron Spoon Rabbelrouser.

(for the like)

For every like you get me, she takes a hit and removes 2 pieces of clothing.

http://www.thenug.com/sites/default/pub/010614/thenug-g1KJV310nK.jpg

Well thats two likes so far.... whip em out, picture lady

Do people still smoke crack? It seems like meth has generally replaced a lot of the bottom of the barrel drugs like crack.
I've been in the same room (a garage) with 3 people smoking crack before. That shit was too weird and over dramatic for me. I'd also like to immediately emphasize that all participants were in fact white, and from the suburbs. My friend who I went there with did it, and said he really only got high like he was on pot, and nothing more. The other 2 took their hits and "seemingly" passed out for 10 seconds or so. Pretty sure it was really just some weak ass shit, that barely got them high, and they were just pretending to look cool, because they were smoking crack. :dunno:

But now I have to make a confession. I suppose I've actually smoked a form of crack before, because I've snow capped herb with cocaine that was cut with baking soda before. So it wasn't technically the real pure thing, but it's still some crazy shit.

I have done quite a bit of snow capping in my time, and I'd prefer not to do it ever again. The last time I did it was unintentional, from both parties. I was on my way to a concert (to see the band named "Down") with a close friend (also one of the crack smokers), and we were smoking from some shitty metal pipe that he didn't care if it got taken by security at the door. So we're driving about 2 hours away from our home town and decide to spark up. I was at a point where pot pretty much tweaked me out every single time, so I didn't assume anything was different at first. Then I started tweaking pretty hardcore with my heart racing, and being over higher that I assumed I should have been. I didn't say shit, because my friend always ripped on me for being a bitch, at the time, for not being able to handle pot properly. Out of no where, he says "holy shit I am seriously fucked up". I had never heard him say that before, and have only heard hims say that once or twice since then, after quitting for over a year each time. So I admit that I am too incredibly fucked up off of what should have been perfectly fine. Silence then followed for a minute or 2, and then "oh shit dude..." Apparently the shitty metal pipe was his sole instrument of smoking pot along with a lot of coke, and then not using it for 2 years. So not only were we smoking pot, but also pot & a copious amount of cocaine resin from a few years prior. It has now been a running joke about how the last time I smoked crack was on the way to the Down show. Technically factually incorrect, but amusing all the same (except at the time when it was frightening).

Shit, much better than the last bitch I tapped. She had small saggy tits, and only wore some crazy ass puzzle pieced workout bras, that had zippers in the front and shit. I mean damn, I just mastered unhooking a bra with one hand, and then I had to deal with that shit.

But I never would have guessed Polish. But dammmmmn she has some big ol' ta-tas.

Last time I was at her place and she was knocked out, I looked at her bra to check the size and it didnt have a tag. Either that or theyve moved the location of bra tags.

Ive seen front-clasp bras before, but none with a zipper... WTF?? the ones I saw just had two pieces that slid apart vertically. Just had to figure out which way was open and it was tits on parade

I use my sword.

"sword" eh? Seems dangerous for both of you

Danger is my middle name.

True story, I have an axe next to my door. Because hommie don't play

Fuck, an axe? You got medieval knights trying to break in or you waiting for the zombie apocalypse?

Last time I was at her place and she was knocked out, I looked at her bra to check the size and it didnt have a tag. Either that or theyve moved the location of bra tags.

Ive seen front-clasp bras before, but none with a zipper... WTF?? the ones I saw just had two pieces that slid apart vertically. Just had to figure out which way was open and it was tits on parade
Seriously. After too long of a struggle, she just pulled it off with force, rather than unzipping it, and was perplexed that I had never seen such a thing. She even asked my female roommate at the time (who was her boss and also a heavy chested woman), why I was so confused. Clearly a bad sign for my manhood, having her ask that. Man card was about to be physically handed in, for good reason. But my roommate told me she didn't have a clue what the fuck she was talking about either (manhood partially saved).

carbon reinforced handle, springs for 3x impact force.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v608/thesilentchamber/axe_zpsbc379b17.jpg~original

Seriously. After too long of a struggle, she just pulled it off with force, rather than unzipping it, and was perplexed that I had never seen such a thing. She even asked my female roommate at the time (who was her boss and also a heavy chested woman), why I was so confused. Clearly a bad sign for my manhood, having her ask that. Man card was about to be physically handed in, for good reason. But my roommate told me she didn't have a clue what the fuck she was talking about either (manhood partially saved).

Just get a god damn sword. When someone tries to take your man card, sword their ass!

True story, I have an axe next to my door. Because hommie don't play
Seriously, no judgement here. But... are you a fucking Juggalo?

Seriously. After too long of a struggle, she just pulled it off with force, rather than unzipping it, and was perplexed that I had never seen such a thing. She even asked my female roommate at the time (who was her boss and also a heavy chested woman), why I was so confused. Clearly a bad sign for my manhood, having her ask that. Man card was about to be physically handed in, for good reason. But my roommate told me she didn't have a clue what the fuck she was talking about either (manhood partially saved).

Once you have her to the point where she's pullng the titties out, you already won

Seriously, no judgement here. But... are you a fucking Juggalo?

like ICP juggalo?

^ Is there any other kind of Juggalo?

Is there another kind of juggalo?

daw, you two are cute. Darling.



And no.

....fuck. Beat me to it

Does that count as a double post?

I think me and Spoon melded minds over titty talk

I'm giggling at everything. And I'm a little drunk in addition.

Once you have her to the point where she's pullng the titties out, you already won
Not sure about that. In the TMI range... She begged me to tell her how tight she was (I think she gave birth to a child, because she was in fact not, in any sense of reality). She also told me she wore G-strings because her past boyfriend told her that her ass was amazing. Decent, yes. Fantastic enough to wear a G-string? I'm no prize, so I didn't tell her the truth to that comment.