SERIOUSLY OT: Calling all chicks! IT'S PART 6!!

If only I had any instinct as to why that is

I think Im as dumb about tech as people at my job are about management

Which would be a -3 on a 1 to 10 Scale

Actually, I take that back. I'm like a 3/10 on tech and they're like a -7/10 on management. At least I know I'm dumb on tech but those fools are SO confident in their managerial stupidity. Similar to if I were to drop a 200 word post about why IE is the best browser.

I think if I killed myself this would probably be the only place where anyone would notice I was gone.

No one would care, but at least y'all might briefly notice my absence.

They say if it feels like your friends never talk to you unless you talk to them first, just wait a few days and they'll contact you.... well I stopped texting people and posting on facebook weeks ago. No one ever noticed. Not a single person. Which is funny, because that's exactly how many people told me happy birthday too.

I feel like all the friends I have that actually know me are not surprised at all that they dont hear from me unless I have some major news to share or wanna talk shit about their sports teams. I do WAY more socializing here than anywhere else. Stopped visiting FB a few years ago when it turned into the new myspace.

I do wonder sometimes how long it would take for the people in my house to realize I was dead if my door was closed. There was a stretch of time when I was in high school that I didnt see my mom for about 5 days.... and we both were home on our normal schedules.

Not big on being social in my family. It makes for the "saddest" holiday reporting ever.

Work People: You have a good Thanksgiving?
Me: Yup
Them: You eat alot?
Me: Nope
Them: You got to see your family though, right?
Me: Nope
Them: So what did you do?
Me: Ate a PBnJ in my room by myself while I watched football. It was magnificent

and cheer up, Bucko! Youre only like 29 right? You have an entire decade of self loathing ahead of you when you turn 30 and decide you haven't accomplished nearly what you thought you would have by then. So if youre gonna off yourself, at least give it til your third decade..... and at least put it on the youtube so we know what happened to you

I think if I killed myself this would probably be the only place where anyone would notice I was gone.

No one would care, but at least y'all might briefly notice my absence.

They say if it feels like your friends never talk to you unless you talk to them first, just wait a few days and they'll contact you.... well I stopped texting people and posting on facebook weeks ago. No one ever noticed. Not a single person. Which is funny, because that's exactly how many people told me happy birthday too.
I hear ya man. Well...other than the fact that I live with my parents. Pretty sure they would notice, because I routinely walk through the house to the back yard to smoke. Beyond that, I have one friend who calls or texts me a couple times a week. Fuck people. It doesn't pay to have friends. The only other time people call me is when they want something.

But yeah, we'd sure notice. Of course we'd first contact Amy or Mr. Greenblurr93, to see if you were just banned again :iceslolan

Anyone ever watch Street Outlaws on the Discovery channel? I've seen commercials for it all the time, and finally decided to check it out tonight.

Typical "reality" tv nonsense. Bunch of redneck dudes who claim to have the fastest street cars in the U.S. They have their own Top 10 list of racers, and compete against each other. Lots of american muscle and trucks, and no imports. They go to "the spot" to race, and the shit is most certainly a drag strip, rather than an actual street. Add in "I'm going to kick this dudes ass" and have a brief shoving match that is horribly acted out = *yawn*

The only other time people call me is when they want something.

Aint that the fuckin truth. Anybody who's my friend knows that I do texts and I hate talking on the phone so I know when I get a "Call me bro" text or vmail that its some shit Im really not trying to hear...... so I usually ignore it til they text me or catch me in a good mood to hear some bullshit.

"Hell is other people", as the saying goes.

Anyone ever watch Street Outlaws on the Discovery channel? I've seen commercials for it all the time, and finally decided to check it out tonight.


I checked out one segment a little while back while flipping channels. I had the same reaction you did. Fake reality aka "scripted reality" (cause reality is so often scripted for us) is the worst of tv nowdays. I used to think all the reality shows were bad, but that was back when they were still somewhat real aside from the camera crews being present.

I choose now to limit my fake reality to Paranormal Witness and similar shows on Destination, Discovery, and Science. Well, the shows on science arent faked but I watch all the theoretical "How the Universe Works" type shit

....see now Im gonna wonder if theres a dead postwhore somewhere in Portlandia til TSC appears again. Not to turn our happy whore sanctuary into the land of serious talk but the "what the fuck am I even here for" feeling blows giant balls which does lead to some iffy rationalizations for chalking shit up..... been there, but never came actually close to doing that. Gave it more thought than I wish I had, but I feel like smart people are miserable by nature. The smarter you are, the harder it is to fool yourself into thinking your life is great. Hence why stupid people are always so happy until they're confused, which only lasts until their feeble brain forgets what it was confused about and they're happy again.


Fucking cheery ass mongoloid retards

Random double post..... be a shame to see it just go away. Instead lets put it to good use (this is how the slippery slope starts)

http://img.izismile.com/img/img6/20130426/1000/sofia_vergaras_boobs_bouncing_around_in_animated_g ifs_01.gif

My bad... too much serious shit. WTF am I doing to this thread???


Break it down for us, dancing bear

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/sonicfanchara/images/b/b9/BreakDancingBear.gif

My bad... too much serious shit. WTF am I doing to this thread???


Break it down for us, dancing bear

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/sonicfanchara/images/b/b9/BreakDancingBear.gif
LOL Much different than the dancing bear that I usually catch a glimpse of. Usually it's a bunch of who-ares, who are either pretending to not be porn stars just starting out, or porn amateurs who immediately quit because they're too old, or get a bad taste in their mouth (literally? yup...literally).

LOL Much different than the dancing bear that I usually catch a glimpse of. Usually it's a bunch of who-ares, who are either pretending to not be porn stars just starting out, or porn amateurs who immediately quit because they're too old, or get a bad taste in their mouth (literally? yup...literally).


Any woman not willing to get that bad taste in their mouth isn't one I want to diddle

I'm not offing myself lol, I just especially hate this time of year.

And if I were, there is an exotic car dealership a few blocks from my apartment, I'm pretty sure I could go out in style by trying to jump the uncompleted bridge they are building here, in a gullwing Mercedes....

This time of year is indeed the worst. I wonder if my pissy attitude in the face of holiday cheer qualifies as Seasonal Affective Disorder, which used to be diagnosed as "that guy is a jerk" before every problem had a pill to fix it

That's a quality suicide plan though. Everyone should have one just in case.

My ideal plan involves me going kamikaze at whatever moron pushed me past the point of being able to live on the same planet as them. That very well may happen one of these Tuesdays when I get to the office

this makes Tuesday a little bit better.... just a little bit

http://25.media.tumblr.com/0baba8da17b341e964fc13ce13dcf6c9/tumblr_mhob18lIAC1ql5yr7o2_250.gif

Since I wrecked my illegal download computer, I finally got with Spotify.... first order of business, the new Childish Gambino. shit was kinda depressing and really strange at times.

next order of business, the new Eminem album.......... what the fuck, Em? Shit is 21 tracks of disappointment

I havnt heard much off the new Eminem, but what I have heard I have to agree. I love the song rap god and that bizzerk song is so so, but everything else that has popped up on Pandora has usually fell victim to the skip button.

As much as I love old eminem (I Just Don't Give A Fuck is one of my all-time favorites) this new shit sounds like an old rapper still trying to hold on to relevancy. And he has a track where he apologizes to his mom for all the shit he said..... I don't wanna hear remorseful Em! I want the Em that rapes his mother and they gave him the Rolling Stone cover. I want the Em that kills his baby's mom, her new husband AND his 8 year old son and takes his toddler to help drop em in Lake Michigan

Looking back has any Eminem album (or almost any rap album, or rock, or anything else) had more than a couple good songs? He has tuns of hits, but those are literally scattered across what, two decades?

I stumbled across this not long ago, kinda cool the way he breaks this one particular song down. http://youtu.be/ooOL4T-BAg0

Woah... definitely didnt know all the classifications of rhyme. I do know a little bit about rhyme scheme though. Theres a rapper called Freeway who has/had a rhyme scheme that usually didnt fit any standards.

But depending on your preference, there might be as much as 70% tracks that are somewhere between decent and good. then there are some classics like Doggystyle that have 100% listenability

I like how he's breaking down Lose Yourself. Eminem used to have some really interesting rhymes and patterns. Thats what seems to be missing now.

I like how he's breaking down Lose Yourself. Eminem used to have some really interesting rhymes and patterns. Thats what seems to be missing now.


Seems to be incorporating a lot of old song and old rock songs into music on the new album also, which could work if done right, but these didn't work that great, I'm trying to remember the one in particular that I heard the other night... fuck, I have zero quality memory these days.

When an artist does an album like this I also question arterial motives, like is this happened to be the last album under contract for a particular label and hes trying to move onto something else. Usually doesn't happen so much with large names like him, but a lot of smaller names have put out shit albums just to fulfill their contracts.

Yeah I remember in high school I heard DMX had a contract for like 4 albums in 4 years with Interscope. I like DMX but he doesnt have 4 albums worth of shit I need to hear in 4 years.

I think (hope) Em is just doing this cause he wants to make up for the collossal disappointment that was Relapse... even though that was two albums ago. That shit was just beyond terrible

And now Im in full Eminem mode on grooveshark. Youre definitely right though, theres only like 4 songs on each album that I really like and the rest are so so. Seems like I enjoyed a lot more of these tracks when they were new

Can't the same be said of ladies you've encountered also?

Absofuckinglutely!!! But they dont seem to understand that

lol

I think consistancy is important, if you have 1 hit and three good songs on an album your a one hit wonder, but if you have one hit and three good songs every two years or so, you're a rock star.

After much bitching moaning fighting and protesting, I got back into my fantasy football superbowl..... so congratulate me

I said CONGRATULATE DAMMIT!!

Hey you! Pipe down!

Im riding high on the wings of fake sports achievement. You cant knock me down

Speaking of fake things, anybody watch the Eric Andre Show?

....I feel like I asked that recently and compared it to my other favorite fake talk show, Comedy Bang Bang

Never heard of it.

In unrelated news, I found a fuel injection kit for my Gremlin.... I think its time I get that thing back on the road.

Oh and this is in reference to a post that was several days ago, about Street Outlaws. I've never actually watched an episode, but can obviously tell from the promos that its staged fake drama shit, but I did happen about coming across some info and it turns out the cars are pretty legit- one of them I know was built by Lutz Racing and competed on some of the drag circuits in the street classes and dominated. So at least their floorboards are not falling out and risking losing the welds on the manifold....

But are they granny shifting and double clutching? Thats the real question

I heard thats what happened when Paul Walkers car exploded.


















Too soon?

My granny never obtained a drivers license. I don't believe she ever wore pants either (dresses/skirts only). Because Ladies don't do that sort of thing. So I don't personally know how grannys shift.

Thats what happens when you dont pay up in the standard $2000 roll of 100s (which everyone knows is standard for street races)

Dude, that was before the economy took a two girls one cup, that's equivalent to like $10 grand now.

I rolled up 7 singles to pay for my Dunkin Donuts this morning and the lady behind the counter exploded out of respect for the streets.

I tolled up a $2 bill and tossed in into a bat cave at the tittie bar the other day.

"tossed" or "slid"?


....or"launched"?

Remember paper foot ball? Like that.

Oh thats classy

Classy as FUCK.

She should have a hell of a time getting that outta there though. I imagine its wedged in pretty good if you did it right

Paper cuts? Ouch.

but I think if you did happen to get it in, I believe you get to proclaim "GOAL!" and then get a free lap dance. This is standard stripper practice, I'm pretty sure.

Jokes on her when its one of those Jesus dollars

and speaking of boxes..... if youre at all wondering what a hairy Gina Gershon bush would look like, check out Killer Joe. Lots of bush and titties in that movie, which is great cause the story is just wtf

I don't know who Gina Gershon is....