SERIOUSLY OT: Calling all chicks! IT'S PART 6!!

I wish.... garden materials dont get delivered til tomorrow but I definitely could put em to good use right now.

This guy contacted me on FB about using his network to promote my business for a mere $20 on a month long promotion. Not bad, so I signed up. He also says that he would be able to offer full marketing strategy and promo services for $199.

I sent him an email saying that I'd be interested in the full services and also askng when I should expect to see the tweets fr my business coming through...... that was 4 days ago and I havent heard from him. sent a follow up between then and now, still got nothing. This fuck has been on twitter promoting shit so I know he's alive.

Im glad I didnt pay him any more than $20 but at this point Im gonna go through the PayPal dispute center to get my money back from this asshole. He could at least email me the fuck back.... tweet at me.... facebook me.... carrier pigeon.... whatever.

This on top of being overcharged by Facebook on posts I had promoted. Sons of bitches put me into overdraft cause of the charge and I have a paypal dispute open with them and waiting for my fucking refund.

Fucking internet shit..... who the fuck is around for me to punch in the face??

Of course that's my "uh ohhh, I think I might have shit my pants, because of this horribly pizza" face. Certainly not to be confused with my "uh ohhhh, the damn condom broke" face. Thankfully only made that face once.

Ive found that her face is more interesting when a busted condom is pulled out. Sure, its a problem for the both of us.... but only one of us has to figure out how to stop a 9 month process within 24 hours

*high five* for Y chromosomes

Thats happened more times than Id like to admit... but its never been on purpose.

How well do the promoted posts work out for you? I've been using them also

Ive found that her face is more interesting when a busted condom is pulled out. Sure, its a problem for the both of us.... but only one of us has to figure out how to stop a 9 month process within 24 hours

*high five* for Y chromosomes


Who the fuck within fucking age isn't on fucking birth control these days?

fucking.

How well do the promoted posts work out for you? I've been using them also

Ehhhh I mean they got a decent amount of Lilkes to the page but not much more just yet. Part of that is on me but Im pissed they fucked me on the charges. They charged the first two promoted posts individually then lumped all the rest together including the first two

whats the link again? I'll like it

Who the fuck within fucking age isn't on fucking birth control these days?

fucking.

Thankfully thats usually been the case, bu the last time it happened (the girl with the cans) she was not. But her direct quote was "my shits so fucked up I probably cant get pregnant anyway"


So far my wang hasnt fallen off so Im not sure just how fucked up her shit really is

Ro fucking FL what the fuck does that mean?

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::r ofl::rofl::rofl:.com

The future of food delivery starts now....

https://www.facebook.com/AMPDelivers

After she said that, I figured it whatever was done was done and in typical man fashion I just waited for weird shit to start happening before getting really worried about it. So far, so good..... but I do wonder how fucked up her twat resume is

maybe her plumbing has seen some coat hanger action....


I tried to think of a classy way to say that...

Thats kinda what I figured. She seems like the type that might have had to hit the family planning aisle of home depot in her teenage years

LOL home depot family plan, now covered by mexobamacare.

BTW, this is what my 9000 post SHOULD have been:

http://youtu.be/SiMHTK15Pik

You wouldve had to prove it by punching the shit outta something and then growing a golden spiky afro

....and I'd like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to the greatest DBZ character, the Honorable Baby (who I cant find a reasonably sized pic or gif of)

I never got into dbz.

I didnt really either until I was in college and my roommate had em all on his computer. Spent many a session watching DBZ and then playing Tetris 2 on SNES

isnt it amazing how many things we've experienced because of college roommates?

indeed..... up to and including seeing your one roommate discover your other roommate crashed his car into a tree half a block from the house after he gets out of jail for Drunk and Disorderly (or is it Drunken Disorderly??)

...or witnessing that same car crashing roommate back that same roommates previous car into the mailbox, breaking his taillight and you having to act like you saw nothing and staying the fuck out of it

LOL. You know, in high school, a buddy of mine had a 6th gen hatch, and years later, like probably 6+ years later we were drinking one night and everyone was playing that "I've never" game where you have to drink if you've done the thing or whatever. And going off that game we found that that 3 of us had all hit my friends car and never told him. LOLs

and he didnt notice?? Mustve been in "I give less than a fuck" shape already

He kept thinking it was getting hit in parking lots. I mean it wasnt like bad, but like little creases in the panels and such..... you know... lol

So I guess this is making its way around the internet...

http://youtu.be/PUKMUZ4tlJg

I ran into my friends car once while he was in it.

It was a rainy, foggy night and we went to a house party where people basically had parked in the yard. My guy, Redd, said he was gonna take off cause he was a paper delivery guy and had to start work at 4am. He had parked his car right behind mine.

When we left the party a couple hours later, we piled in my car and I backed up without looking... cause I thought Redd and his car were long gone. Not until I had dented his bumper did I find out they were both still there. He fell asleep at the wheel.

it was all good though. he wasnt mad and he actually totaled it a few weeks later by falling asleep at the wheel while delivering papers and running into a tree.

I'm amazed that I never done that while I was delivering papers

So I guess this is making its way around the internet...

http://youtu.be/PUKMUZ4tlJg

Thumbs the fuck up on that one! The little mexican guy with the broom is the greatest. "Oh its a devil baby.. so the fuck what?"

Thats an old mexican man, he probably has 45 grandkids, hes seen some shit.

Ever catch the show Graveyard Carz?

Nope. Seen the name but never stopped on it

yeah, truely its not worth watching. Its a show that does 100% factory correct mopar restorations. The cars are top notch, but the horrible acting and drama and the main guy is so f-ing annoying. Its filmed in Springfield OR, about 100 miles south of here.

the guys annoying, but he knows his shit. Hes constantly rattling off vin codes and talking about factory markings and like how assembly would vary depending on certain dates and all this shit. Hes a huge douche though. And annoying.

Scripted reality.... my patience is thinner than ever for that. And if theyre not even gonna be hilarious with it then I cant take it. I just wanna throw a brick through the tv when they "act" surprised/angry on reality shows.

"Oh its such a surprise that you guys are at my door! The camera crew behind the door with me totally wasnt a clue"

You know what I hate even worse than shows like Amish Mafia and Moonshiners? The goddamn morons who think the shows are actually real. Fucking bullet to the head.

Amish Mafia is so fake I almost wanna watch it, but if I actually started to enjoy it then I'd never forgive myself

Gentlemen, I have created the perfect sandwich.

Starting on a solid foundation of buttermilk loaf bread, on one side you drizzle honey, on the other side you smear creamy peanut butter. On the Honey side you layer up a thick layer of hand sliced mild cheddar, on the peanut butter side you put a hefty amount of Frenches french fried onions. Then layer some left over chicken. Assemble, slice semi hoizonatagional. Enjoy.

By perfect, I mean in a liberal sense.

Gentlemen, I have created the perfect sandwich.

Starting on a solid foundation of buttermilk loaf bread, on one side you drizzle honey, on the other side you smear creamy peanut butter. On the Honey side you layer up a thick layer of hand sliced mild cheddar, on the peanut butter side you put a hefty amount of Frenches french fried onions. Then layer some left over chicken. Assemble, slice semi hoizonatagional. Enjoy.
Someone finished off those last three, last night, and then packed up some more...

Agreed..... and with the transaction I completed this morning I hope to do something similar when I get home

And was this chicken cold? Im not really a fan of cold chicken off the bone. And even on the bone, I much prefer it hot

Cold. Left over KFC- pulled off the bone. Mostly crunch, really. You cant put hot stuff on a peanutbutter sammitch, it gets all runny :(


I prefer cold all around. In my food, and in my women.

We have a guy at work named Mike, and his initials are MM. I really want to start calling him Millimeter Mike... but I think that might hurt his feelings. He's one of those... sensitive types.

Someone finished off those last three, last night, and then packed up some more...


Theheheh :tongue:

We have a guy at work named Mike, and his initials are MM. I really want to start calling him Millimeter Mike... but I think that might hurt his feelings. He's one of those... sensitive types.

I mean unless theres stories going around that say he has minimal wangage then I dont see why he'd be so gotdam burt over it. Youre not sposed to like the nicknames people give you..... thats why they give em to you.

One of my friends from my old job was "outed" by his former wife (while she was still his wife) that he has a lil guy. She did this at the table at the office Christmas party in front of me and a couple other guys.... she held her pinky up and everything.

From then on whenever this guys name was spoken among friends, we held up the pinky. He laughed about it... cause he's not a pansy

What a bitch.

Yeah it was a total cunt move. She's actually not as cunty as that story makes her out to be, but after a few glasses of wine the inner cunt came out

Maybe she just had a huge gaping vadge?

I wish we had asked her that immediately but we were kinda in shock that she had told us about our friends packich

lol

last week I met up with the guy to grab some food and he told me about how he's sure she cheated on him and shit. He's my boy (youre mah boy Blue!!) but I do kinda wanna bang his soon-to-be ex wife. She has some tigols which we, his friends, complimented him on regularly

but without his express consent, I wouldn't do it....... well probably

Flip a coin.

A big gold coin with titties on one side, and titties on the other side.

So big that the coin is more of a sphere. A quad sphere, of sorts.

....the Titisphere??? FUX YES :ylsuper: :boink: :ylsuper: :boink:

LOL, I think we invented a thing.