Banter Thread Part 3 (Back with a Vengeance, this time its personal)

Yeah, I know, but your vote doesn't count, you're not a mod....therefore, you don't matter. :)
So who should we edit next. I think Rally's profile would look sweet with 5 posts :grinyes: . Who's with me? :icon16:

Yeah, I know, but your vote doesn't count, you're not a mod....therefore, you don't matter. :)
:cwm27: Agreed.

6.. i know youre not talkin. the only person who cares about your opinion is a pre-adolescent girl who was a babbling, crying, poop factory when bill clinton was president

Don't forget her family is poor and live in a dump! I always get the fucked up chicks :/

So who should we edit next. I think Rally's profile would look sweet with 5 posts :grinyes: . Who's with me? :icon16:
yes John Do it! then when he's trying to give advice, people will be all pissed and not listening to him cuz he's only got 5 posts :evillol:

People get pissed when anyone other than me posts....

People get pissed when anyone other than me posts....

http://www.orlyowl.com/orly.jpg

Here's a long story...

A few mornings ago I had to work. It's dark and I'm all alone going into the business. The doors are locked at night, obviously. I, being employed there, have a key to unlock the main door. I'm walking to the door from my car, everything seems normal. I sort through my many keys on my key chain until I find the key that will unlock the door. I find it, everything seems normal so far, and start to put the key in the door and I realize something isn't right. There's a HUGE f'n preying mantis right by the key hole. I think to myself, if I put the key in the hole, that huge f'n bug is going to touch me, and that isn't an option. My mind begins to race with ideas, I concur that I need in this building...so one of us is going down. I think back to my childhood and the Ninja Turtles. Yeah, they kick butt, so can I. After much deliberation, I decide that since I am an avid bug hater and martial arts expert (from all the Ninja Turtles cartoons) that I'd give that bug a good swift kick and everything would be okay. That's my plan...no going back now....

I rear back and give it a good swift kick and it makes a loud 'POP' and guts splatter everywhere! I had succeeded, my plan was executed flawlessly! The force of the good swift kick had moved the bug away from the key hole and it had since expired. The coast was clear, I could at once enter the building. I get the key back out and insert it in the key hole, it worked, the door unlocked! Yep, everything was back to normal.

^Thats the most elaborate peice of crap i've ever read.

Six I think I am going to start calling you Xeno Jr.

True story guys. I hate bugs :/ If it has more than 4 legs I won't touch it.

praying manti dont scare me. those are the cool bugs. now you wanna see me freak the hell out? drop a big ass spider on me, or actually any bugs where the legs are very prominent and jointed look kinda creepy

I know! I HATE spiders!

I know! I HATE spiders!
Then its real bad when its one of those big ass bugs that like to sit there for long periods of time especially in a place that you need to walk past them to get somewhere. cuz you never know if they're gonna JUMP!

I know! That's what that preying mantis was doing. Setting there, waiting to touch me. They have those big ass eyes watching everything...Ugh...I hate bugs.

u leave them alone and they leave u alone

u leave them alone and they leave u alone

Pretty much like bees..

Bees... I hate bees.... Plus I'm very allergic to them, so that probably doesn't help much anyway.

I don't like bugs but they don't bother me like they bother some of you apparently. But I don HATE spiders with a passion. But I'm good at killin' em.
I don't like most insects that buzz and fly, because they bite and sting and then they itches for awhile How irritating.

True story guys. I hate bugs :/ If it has more than 4 legs I won't touch it.

i hate the fuckers, i capture them then use di-chloromethane to kill them while i grin in evil delight...

I was setting at the computer a year and a half or so ago and I saw something run across my sisters room. It was so big it had it's own shadow. We don't have mice, but it was so big I thought that maybe one had got in the house. It's a huge f'n spider, not one of those with the hundreds of babies, but a spider big enough to have it's own shadow. It was literally about 6 inches across, from tip of one leg to the other tip. Ugh....It was bigger than most tarantulas I have seen.

I would have got out the baseball bat for that one.

I would have got out the baseball bat for that one.
No f'n way I'm getting that close to it, time for the 12 gauge.

Bugs don't bother me. I hate , I mean literally hate rats though and everything that look like rats. Especially possums and my dogs have this horrible habit of find possums and playing fetch with them in my backyard then bring them onto the deck, now anyone that knows anything about possums knows they go into a coma like state whenever a predator attacks and they appear to be dead but are very much alive and come out of this after a few minutes and then try to escape by what ever means possible.

So picture me with a phobia of rats, carrying with a shovel what appears to be a giant dead rat with like 3 -4 inch fangs when this fucking thing comes to life runs up the shovel handle onto my arm and then jumps off. Suggesting I went screaming into the house in a girl like manner would not do it justice :disappoin . I am shocked that I did not need medical assistance for what very much felt like a heart attack.

This also did not help my recurring nightmare about being attacked by rats in my sleep :frown: .

I hate bees.

Holy crap....home state Iowa threw 4 interceptions.
And still somehow beat Syracuse.

<----good thing I am drunk.
I have mice.

score 1 more for Auburn...shut out Miss state 34-0! war damn eagle! go AU!

Bugs don't bother me. I hate , I mean literally hate rats though and everything that look like rats. Especially possums and my dogs have this horrible habit of find possums and playing fetch with them in my backyard then bring them onto the deck, now anyone that knows anything about possums knows they go into a coma like state whenever a predator attacks and they appear to be dead but are very much alive and come out of this after a few minutes and then try to escape by what ever means possible.

So picture me with a phobia of rats, carrying with a shovel what appears to be a giant dead rat with like 3 -4 inch fangs when this fucking thing comes to life runs up the shovel handle onto my arm and then jumps off. Suggesting I went screaming into the house in a girl like manner would not do it justice :disappoin . I am shocked that I did not need medical assistance for what very much felt like a heart attack.

This also did not help my recurring nightmare about being attacked by rats in my sleep :frown: .


omg...imagining that was the funniest thing i have thought about in a long ass time. thank you formula, thank you very, very much

Peanut butter jelly time!!!!!!!!!

Bugs don't bother me. I hate , I mean literally hate rats though and everything that look like rats. Especially possums and my dogs have this horrible habit of find possums and playing fetch with them in my backyard then bring them onto the deck, now anyone that knows anything about possums knows they go into a coma like state whenever a predator attacks and they appear to be dead but are very much alive and come out of this after a few minutes and then try to escape by what ever means possible.

So picture me with a phobia of rats, carrying with a shovel what appears to be a giant dead rat with like 3 -4 inch fangs when this fucking thing comes to life runs up the shovel handle onto my arm and then jumps off. Suggesting I went screaming into the house in a girl like manner would not do it justice :disappoin . I am shocked that I did not need medical assistance for what very much felt like a heart attack.

This also did not help my recurring nightmare about being attacked by rats in my sleep :frown: .

Never mind the medical assistance, must have been laundry time!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

Here ya go John

http://tolweb.org/tree/ToLimages/possums.jpg

Ohh.. man.. :rofl:

Thats the funniest story ive heard in a while, thanks alot John..

Me though, I can handle rats and all those rodents and stuff.. dont like spiders at all.. the rest of em, except roaches, im alright with.

Bugs don't bother me. I hate , I mean literally hate rats though and everything that look like rats. Especially possums and my dogs have this horrible habit of find possums and playing fetch with them in my backyard then bring them onto the deck, now anyone that knows anything about possums knows they go into a coma like state whenever a predator attacks and they appear to be dead but are very much alive and come out of this after a few minutes and then try to escape by what ever means possible.

So picture me with a phobia of rats, carrying with a shovel what appears to be a giant dead rat with like 3 -4 inch fangs when this fucking thing comes to life runs up the shovel handle onto my arm and then jumps off. Suggesting I went screaming into the house in a girl like manner would not do it justice :disappoin . I am shocked that I did not need medical assistance for what very much felt like a heart attack.

This also did not help my recurring nightmare about being attacked by rats in my sleep :frown: .
hahahahahaahahahaha that just made my day

anyone get that on video john? what a funny ass story to wake up to :lol:

Haha, that's great. Anything with 4 legs doesn't bother me, unless it was supposed to have 6 or 8 and is missing a few.

Bugs don't bother me. I hate , I mean literally hate rats though and everything that look like rats. Especially possums and my dogs have this horrible habit of find possums and playing fetch with them in my backyard then bring them onto the deck, now anyone that knows anything about possums knows they go into a coma like state whenever a predator attacks and they appear to be dead but are very much alive and come out of this after a few minutes and then try to escape by what ever means possible.

So picture me with a phobia of rats, carrying with a shovel what appears to be a giant dead rat with like 3 -4 inch fangs when this fucking thing comes to life runs up the shovel handle onto my arm and then jumps off. Suggesting I went screaming into the house in a girl like manner would not do it justice :disappoin . I am shocked that I did not need medical assistance for what very much felt like a heart attack.

This also did not help my recurring nightmare about being attacked by rats in my sleep :frown: .

oh man, that's some funny stuff. exact same thing happened to my mum and my friend.

my mum was taking out the trash, when some squirrel runs out of the bin, up he arms and jumps off her shoulder, scared the living shit out of her.

we were at my friend's house once, we went down the side of the house to chain up a car so we could tow it out, and my friend finds this dead rat next to the cars, he wants to get rid of it. so he gets a shovel, and picks it up. suddenly the bastard awakens from death and leaps at him, he just moves back, and as he does he swings the shovel and sends it flying!

it was funny, until i saw the thing flying through the air towards me.

(i ducked.......just....)

Never mind the medical assistance, must have been laundry time!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:
No it was more scary than that. Anyone ever been so scared that you carry on a convo with yourself of how scary it was? (cause I was all asking myself you think he's still out there) :disappoin . I got to the door and slammed it behind me and was like what the hell is that noise? and realized that was me still screaming and then was scared to look behind me cause I was scared he would be right at the door.

I am so happy that probably a top 5 worst experience in my life can bring you guys so much joy :lol: .

I am so happy that probably a top 5 worst experience in my life can bring you guys so much joy :lol: .

John, you do spoil us...

I seriously don't know what it is. I am not really someone who scares easy. I have been hanging out with friends in Yonkers NY and had gun fire come out of no where and kept my cool. I have been hanging out with friends and gotten into huge fights with like 3 of us and like 12 of the other guys, I have been driving in a hurricane and had a stream come across the street and washed my car into the woods.. I don't know why a rat or rat looking thing can send me into little girl mode but it really does :disappoin.

I seriously don't know what it is. I am not really someone who scared easy. I have been hanging out with friends in Yonkers NY and had gun fire come out of no where and kept my cool. I have been hanging out with friends and gotten into huge fights with like 3 of us and like 12 of the other guys, I have been driving in a hurricane and had a stream come across the street and washed my car into the woods.. I don't know why a rat or rat looking thing can send me into little girl mode but it really does :disappoin.

it happens to all of us, it's the little things. none of the big stuff scares me, car crashes, violence, injury etc...

but i got hit in the face by a moth with like a 3-inch wingspan and i jumped out of my fucking skin.

and when i was waiting for Nicole in the airport, i didn't see her leave the baggage collection through another door, she snuck up behind me and poked me in the ribs. gave me such a shock i left the ground...

Jeremy, you have a pm.

Rodents, huh? I think someone should mail Formula a hamster or a possum sometime...unexpectedly. That's a damn funny story.

Oh man John, you'd hate it in my yard.

Possums and racoons. The possums I can deal with, have always had one lurking around no matter where I'm at. They shew away fairly easy. It's the damn racoons. They messed up my land scape lighting so then they could have a pool party in pond and broke all my filters and pumps. Luckilky the fish never made it in there. Plus that shreaking they make while they are "fighting".

last night i rode in my coworker's rx8. so far that is the fastest car ive ever been in. its really fast, but it makes me sad cuz its a low 14 second car

last night i rode in my coworker's rx8. so far that is the fastest car ive ever been in. its really fast, but it makes me sad cuz its a low 14 second car

that's the fastest car you've been in?

fastest car that ive felt the power band in

You would probably poop your pants in my car then. :lol:

I took a guy for a ride that had never ridden in anything faster than a 14 second car.
His smile was HUGE!

All this rat talk reminds me....


I have to kill the mouse in my house.
Without letting the dogs near any poison or traps.

All this rat talk reminds me....


I have to kill the mouse in my house.
Without letting the dogs near any poison or traps.

shotgun?

:lol: All this rat talk reminds me....


I have to kill the mouse in my house.
Without letting the dogs near any poison or traps.Just invite John over for dinner. With all that high pitch screaming he'll do, the mouse will surely get out of the house.

TS out (getting ear plugs)

Shotgun would work.
Might even give me a good reason to replace the cabinets after I am done.


Although the John screaming idea makes sense as well.

can't you put traps in the places it's usually in, but keep the dogs away or something? like if it's in the kitchen, lay the traps/poisin at night and keep the dogs away from it?

Maybe.
But they get up in the middle of the night to eat/drink. I see the mouse about 10 feet from their dishes.

Mice don't bother me all that much. Just rats and possum (bigger rats).

Get a cat.

or a snake

Mice don't bother me all that much. Just rats and possum (bigger rats).Yep, they don't call you puff muffin for nothing.
http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/9584/johndance3na.gif


:smooch:

TS out (getting rat poison)

Yep, they don't call you puff muffin for nothing.
http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/9584/johndance3na.gif


:smooch:

TS out (getting rat poison)
http://img234.imageshack.us/img234/9724/spiritonarope2nt.jpg

:rolleyes:

or a snake

Ahh, snakes, super effective for keeping mice off of planes :thumbsup: