How many of these can you do before you get kicked out?

[dolla_bill0913]

> WAL-MART STUFF TO DO
>
> 15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/shopping partner/significant
> other is taking his/her sweet time:
>
> 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms &randomly put them in people's carts when they
> aren't looking.
>
> 2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
>
> 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
>
> 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,"Code3 in
> housewares," and see what happens.
>
> 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.
>
> 6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll
> only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
>
> 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't
> you people just leave me alone?"
>
> 9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you
> pick your nose.
>
> 10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows
> where the anti-depressants are.
>
> 11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from
> "Mission Impossible"
>
> 12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size
> funnels.
>
> 13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME!!
> PICK ME!!"
>
> 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal
> position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again"
>
> and last but not least:
>
> 15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly, "Hey we're out of toilet
> paper in here!"

[360Modena1117]

How about riding a bicycle thats for sale through the store, or get a bag of popcorn, go to electronics, sit down and watch a movie on one of the tvs being displayed.

[dolla_bill0913]

Those are good ideas too. I got the 15 things from a friend in my email. Just thought I would share. If you actually sat down and thought about it the list could go on forever.

[Trigger351]

Loved the list

[stuffed_crust]

i got these from packingheat.com it is a good site so tell noone


A clerk follows you about the store, periodically asking if they can help you find something. Respond with one of the following:

Yeah, can you help me find your dignity? I think it's over here in the irregulars bin.

Maybe, do you carry a spray that will repel annoying salespeople?

Yeah, I'm looking for a way to get you to leave me the fuck alone.

Definitely, I'm looking for your mom, bitch owes me cash for crack.

Fuck you.

While you're waiting to purchase your items at the cash register, the clerk gets on the phone and talks with one of their friends instead of ringing you up. He/she says she'll be right with you:

Oh good, I'll just start knocking things over while I'm waiting (push one of the counter displays onto the ground then punt it the length of the store. Smile happily.)

Don't let me interrupt, I'll just take my shit and go (pick items up and proceed to walk out of store).

Is that your mom on the phone? Tell that bitch that next time she better swallow it all.

Begin singing "Take on Me" by Ah Ha at the top of your lungs.

Fuck you.

The clerk ignores you completely:

Stalk around the store, following the clerk and staring at the back of his/her head while he/she is trying to make sales.

Drop trow and take a leak in the middle of the store (when confronted just state that, hell, you didn't think anyone was paying attention).

Tie multiple pairs of underwear together onto an umbrella or other stick-lick object and then wave like a flag.

Walk up to the clerk with a wad of bills in your hand, wave in front of his/her eyes and say, "Ever seen this much of this in one hand? No? Must suck making minimum wage, now get your ass over her so I can boss you around, punk."

Fuck you, show me these shoes in size 10. Now.

[stuffed_crust]

i got these from packingheat.com it is a good site so tell noone


A clerk follows you about the store, periodically asking if they can help you find something. Respond with one of the following:

Yeah, can you help me find your dignity? I think it's over here in the irregulars bin.

Maybe, do you carry a spray that will repel annoying salespeople?

Yeah, I'm looking for a way to get you to leave me the fuck alone.

Definitely, I'm looking for your mom, bitch owes me cash for crack.

Fuck you.

While you're waiting to purchase your items at the cash register, the clerk gets on the phone and talks with one of their friends instead of ringing you up. He/she says she'll be right with you:

Oh good, I'll just start knocking things over while I'm waiting (push one of the counter displays onto the ground then punt it the length of the store. Smile happily.)

Don't let me interrupt, I'll just take my shit and go (pick items up and proceed to walk out of store).

Is that your mom on the phone? Tell that bitch that next time she better swallow it all.

Begin singing "Take on Me" by Ah Ha at the top of your lungs.

Fuck you.

The clerk ignores you completely:

Stalk around the store, following the clerk and staring at the back of his/her head while he/she is trying to make sales.

Drop trow and take a leak in the middle of the store (when confronted just state that, hell, you didn't think anyone was paying attention).

Tie multiple pairs of underwear together onto an umbrella or other stick-lick object and then wave like a flag.

Walk up to the clerk with a wad of bills in your hand, wave in front of his/her eyes and say, "Ever seen this much of this in one hand? No? Must suck making minimum wage, now get your ass over her so I can boss you around, punk."

Fuck you, show me these shoes in size 10. Now.


:monkeypis

[Jimster]

Originally posted by stuffed_crust
i got these from packingheat.com it is a good site so tell noone


A clerk follows you about the store, periodically asking if they can help you find something. Respond with one of the following:

Yeah, can you help me find your dignity? I think it's over here in the irregulars bin.

Maybe, do you carry a spray that will repel annoying salespeople?

Yeah, I'm looking for a way to get you to leave me the fuck alone.

Definitely, I'm looking for your mom, bitch owes me cash for crack.

Fuck you.

While you're waiting to purchase your items at the cash register, the clerk gets on the phone and talks with one of their friends instead of ringing you up. He/she says she'll be right with you:

Oh good, I'll just start knocking things over while I'm waiting (push one of the counter displays onto the ground then punt it the length of the store. Smile happily.)

Don't let me interrupt, I'll just take my shit and go (pick items up and proceed to walk out of store).

Is that your mom on the phone? Tell that bitch that next time she better swallow it all.

Begin singing "Take on Me" by Ah Ha at the top of your lungs.

Fuck you.

The clerk ignores you completely:

Stalk around the store, following the clerk and staring at the back of his/her head while he/she is trying to make sales.

Drop trow and take a leak in the middle of the store (when confronted just state that, hell, you didn't think anyone was paying attention).

Tie multiple pairs of underwear together onto an umbrella or other stick-lick object and then wave like a flag.

Walk up to the clerk with a wad of bills in your hand, wave in front of his/her eyes and say, "Ever seen this much of this in one hand? No? Must suck making minimum wage, now get your ass over her so I can boss you around, punk."

Fuck you, show me these shoes in size 10. Now.


:monkeypis

NICE!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!

[pod]

got to # 13 on the first list

[2strokebloke]

Well i do know that the Target fellows dislike it very much when you put up posters in the bathrooms that read "Attention: Due to splash factor, the O.S.H.A. requires that all terds over five inches be hand lowered."

[SuperStreet reader]

[sideshowrich]

How about getting a good game of football going in the larger aisles?

And I've seen the condom one in action. Poor old lady didn't even notice them when she went to the register, got quite a look from the cashier.

[adarrick]

Originally Posted by SuperStreet reader

any ladys in here show there tits on yahoo messenger

[galaxie500fb]

go to the grocery store and grab ten canned items then head over to the frozen food section and get a frozen turkey. Setup the cans at one side of the isle to resemble bowling pins. Then proceed to bowl them over with the turkey.

[D[X]P]

this is great

[chubbs87]