Another damn joke thread...

[tonioseven]

*===PALM SUNDAY===
> It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny
> stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home,
> they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were
> for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by. "Wouldn't you
> know it, " the boy fumed, "The one Sunday I don't go, He shows up!"
>

> ===MATRIMONIAL PROPOSAL===
> The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a
> family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just
> planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend
> for yourselves. "
>
> ===JUST CURIOUS===
> Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, "39
> and holding. " Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old
> would you be if you let go? "
>
> ===THE TITHING===
> A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed
> around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said
> loudly, "Don't pay for me Daddy. I'm under five. "
>
> ===THE BLESSING===
>> The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say
> prayers before eating? " "No sir, " he replied, "We don't have to. My
> mom is a good cook! "
>
> ===WELCOME TO OUR HOME===
> "Oh, I sure am happy to see you, " the little boy said to his
> grandmother on his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he
> has been promising us. "The grandmother was curious. "What trick is
> that? " she asked. "I heard him tell Mommy that he would climb the
> walls if you came to visit us again," the little boy answered.
>
>
> === The Water Pistol ===
> When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his
> grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and
> headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and
> said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive
> you crazy with water guns? Mom smiled and then replied. . . "I remember. "
>
>
>
> === Life After Death ===
> "Do you believe in life after death? " the boss asked one of his
> employees. "Yes, Sir, " the new employee replied. "Well, then, that
> makes everything just fine, " the boss went on. "After you left early
> yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see
> you."

[YogsVR4]

...

[Mediocrity]

I love the waterpistol one.