Real Bad Advertisements.

[DVSNCYNIKL]

That could have been written just a little differently.......


Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis

Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.

Automatically burns toast.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

We build bodies that last a lifetime.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.


These are not my own of course.

[YogsVR4]

I find these stupid little things hilarous.

[Spec2 Girl]

Originally posted by YogsVR4
I find these stupid little things hilarous.

Me too! They just appeal to my sense of humour. Not sure what that says about my sense of humour though!! :hehehe:

[SickLude]

yea, this is just like Leno's Headlines on Monday Nights. i love this stuff...best advertisment ever: Bathroom Golf....showed a picture of this dude siting on the toilet and putting. "practice while you let go" i think the headline was...classic.

[speediva]

I think I found those to be waaaaaay too funny.




or maybe it was just my fever laughing...

[taranaki]

:silly2: :silly2: Always love this stuff...BTW...


Vasectomies while you wait

[focalBlur]

how about what would you do with the keys too a pontiac for a week

maybe it's just me, but isn' it odd that once people are handed the keys to a new Pontiac, they suddenly feel the urge to go skydiving and white-water rafting?
why didn't they do this stuff BEFORE getting the Pontiac? maybe they are so mortified by how crappy the Pontiac is, that they develop some sort of death wish because they can't handle how awful the car is

maybe GM should try this with daewoo, it might help sales
daewoo is only selling about 138 cars a month in the US(very bad)

[taranaki]

Originally posted by focalBlur
how about what would you do with the keys too a pontiac for a week

maybe it's just me, but isn' it odd that once people are handed the keys to a new Pontiac, they suddenly feel the urge to go skydiving and white-water rafting?
why didn't they do this stuff BEFORE getting the Pontiac? maybe they are so mortified by how crappy the Pontiac is, that they develop some sort of death wish because they can't handle how awful the car is

maybe GM should try this with daewoo, it might help sales
daewoo is only selling about 138 cars a month in the US(very bad)

WTF?:help:

[primera man]

It really is the silly season isn't it !!!

[brads94accord]

Originally posted by focalBlur
how about what would you do with the keys too a pontiac for a week

maybe it's just me, but isn' it odd that once people are handed the keys to a new Pontiac, they suddenly feel the urge to go skydiving and white-water rafting?
why didn't they do this stuff BEFORE getting the Pontiac? maybe they are so mortified by how crappy the Pontiac is, that they develop some sort of death wish because they can't handle how awful the car is

maybe GM should try this with daewoo, it might help sales
daewoo is only selling about 138 cars a month in the US(very bad)

i would run the pontiac into a wall a few times ten when im done pour water and rocks in the gas tank, then run it really hard with no oil and take out the spark plugs and pour ice cold water down the holes into the cylinders.

[CamaroGirl86]

:hehehe::hehehe:

[RevHappy Cowboy®]

Originally posted by brads94accord
i would run the pontiac into a wall a few times ten when im done pour water and rocks in the gas tank, then run it really hard with no oil and take out the spark plugs and pour ice cold water down the holes into the cylinders.

Why waste the water? Just drive the car normally for a few thousand miles & it'll achieve the same effect anyways...

[Rich]

Originally posted by primera man
It really is the silly season isn't it !!!

you said it, PMan

[OisinT]

:hehe: they're funny... but not as funny as this..



:hehehe:...

[HogieGT-R]

for funny ones you can go to www.engrish.com