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#1
01-20-2003, 08:16 PM
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Darwin Award
Came across this tonite and it is funny as hell. Hope its not a repost.
Kind of long but worth the read. The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene. The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise. It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields. Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket. The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows: The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners. The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel. Ironically a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading "How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT." 
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#2
01-20-2003, 08:22 PM
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Thats ollddd... but so great...
Go Impala!!! hahaha.
__________________
2003 Chevy 1500HD - Hauler 1971 Chevy Camaro RS - Track Car User Guidelines It's important to read, like the Bible. But unlike the Bible we will strike you down if you jerk off around here.
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#4
01-20-2003, 08:38 PM
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JSATI Repost :finger:
But  because I haven't seen it for 2 years or more.
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#7
01-20-2003, 10:37 PM
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__________________
 Connor - Porsche Nazi since 2001, VW defiler since 2004  This here's a Fabrication forum!  My lugnut requires more torque than your LS1 makes.
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#8
01-21-2003, 01:24 AM
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Darwin Awards is one of my FAVE websites. Gotta love stupid people, eh?
It may be old, and it may have been posted, but DARN was it good to read again. :hehehe: :hehe:
__________________
Like a boy - but BETTER! 2005 Subaru Forester 2.5X 1997 Honda Civic EX Coupe Inform yourself: AF User Guidelines
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#10
01-21-2003, 12:13 PM
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Anyone remember the one about two guys who tried to sneak into a rock show? That one was GOOD.
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Connor - Porsche Nazi since 2001, VW defiler since 2004 This here's a Fabrication forum! My lugnut requires more torque than your LS1 makes.
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#11
01-21-2003, 02:39 PM
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here's a little better story http://www1.bored.com/rocketcar/ . be warned it a little long 10+ pages.
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#12
01-21-2003, 02:43 PM
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Old as the hill he hit.
But.........still :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe: The Panda made me do it!!!
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Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.... ----------------------------------------------- Life!!!! I've Seen It And Its Rubbish !!!!! ------------ "The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards." 
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#13
01-21-2003, 08:49 PM
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__________________
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#14
01-21-2003, 08:58 PM
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Quote:
 now he doesnt look so stupid...I DO
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Formerly known as De$i Gank$ta  Current Status:100% New Project:Audi Chop Currently Working On:Nothing Current Mods: Everythings done Link:Click Here
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