What to do? Females are crazy...

[Oz]

Well - here's the story. I'm currently on the Australian phenomenon known as schoolies - a week with close friends fuelled by alcohol.

The situation is as follows - I have a new GF at home who I have strong feelings for. Another of my close female friends, who I will call C, and I have been talking to each other and growing closer the whole trip. The only problem is that I have come to the realisation that I can't be good friends with her without looking for something more (even if I know it won't happen).

The reason I know it won't happen are
A)She has a list of guys she could hook up with a mile long and I'm very much at the bottom.
B)She doesn't know - but prob. suspects how I feel
C)I'm not particularly good looking and she is an elusive 8+ on the male scale.

This sitation is infuriating and driving me completely insane bordering on depression. I also want to stay true to my GF, while knowing I would bend and ditch her in a second for C.

Help..........

[taranaki]

You seem to have narrowed your decision to just two options, stay with current girlfriend or chase potential girlfriend.How about looking at another idea?

Step back a little ,and let them make the running for a while.It's easy to think yourself into knots wondering exactly what they think of you,let them have the opportunity to give you some clues.

[Oz]

Yeah, nice in theory, but how. I already am happy with Sarah. Caroline is oblivious and doesn't commit to relationships for long. I don't wanna get burnt, end up with two angry ex's and no friends. Would you mind PMing me about the whole depression thing Mr T. I'm beginning to feel like theres no way out. And it's not even that bad.

[Oz]

Despite lack of interest, here's the latest.

Emailed C, who is still away until tonight. An email of questionable wisdom, written in tears and sweat - but it had to be written. Gets a little off my chest. Eagerly awaiting responses, but I still hope this doesn't fuck up what goes on external to me (friends, family, relationships) because of something blossoming internally. Jesus....

[Spunkymonkey]

Um.....Oz...this is so uncanny...as I found myself in a similar situation a few months ago....

and if you take into account...I'd be like Caroline

I'd say maybe make a hint to C to see how she reacts. If you feel there is no interest on her side, then just drop it, and stay with your current GF.

If C hasn't acted on any vibes she may have gotten from you, then you'll find that she probably thinks of you as just a good friend. Also take into consideration whether she tells you about the guys she goes out with, etc. If she does....then I'd say she thinks of you more as a friend. If she thought that you had strong feelings for her, she would not tell you these things.

Q.

[SilverLotus340R]

Step back a little ,and let them make the running for a while

something i have NEVER been able to do is that

but he is right..you should step off a lil and let things play out

ad tellin "c'' how u felt was a good move i think cuz now she knows and if she really likes you back than she will know to make some move ....but just hope she likes you and takes that into consideration

let it play out till she comes back and what not

[Oz]

Well, I have no response from C. Yet. She has had about 24 hours to jump on the net, but it's likely she hasn't got it yet. And Q, I have dropped virtually no hints to her. It has all been internal. We are the closest of friends, and there is no other female I know I could wake up happy next to for the next 70 years. I know you're probably all thining 'it'll pass - teen angst' kinda shit. But this is about as serious as it gets. The best prospect I have ever known and she's slipping through my fingers. Goddamn it hurts being me sometimes. And thanks Q for the SMSs. Oz.

[Spunkymonkey]

Oz, just wait it out until she replies. Even if you think you may not have dropped any hints, she may have picked up some vibes. If she has the so called list you say she does, she probably has some idea when it comes to guys.

Even if you don't think you have, she may have seen it in your eyes. Best thing is wait til she replies, either way as long as you still have her friendship, then that's the main thing.

I do think, it is good what your doing, in getting it all settled, so you can decide whether to continue with your current girlfriend or not.

no problems.
Q.

[YogsVR4]

Just about every guy has been in your shoes at one time or another. Dont forget its also in our nature to want things that we shouldn't have. As the saying goes, the wanting is sometimes better then the having. I hope your decisions work out for the best.

[jon@af]

ok, this is only a thought of mine so think what you want. Just stay with your current girlfriend, i know that is easier said than done in your current situation but in the long run, who do you see yourself with? You could also do what was suggested earlier and just let things play themselves out, ive done that before, and as hard as it may be in the instance that you want to make a decision right then, it proved a good move on my part. anyways, just my two cents, good luck.

[Oz]

OK, in the long run, I can really only see myself with my friend. But there are complicating issues there. My current GF is sick and she want's to break up because of that - she thinks it's too much of a burden on me. This is half the reason I'm SO fucked up over it all. And Yogs, it's not shouldn't - it's just couldn't. But I don't know how she's feeling. Signs are positive. Maybe......
And if GF wants to break up anyway......

[Spunkymonkey]

Oz, your only young, you don't need to think that far ahead. Also, your gf is sick. Even though she states otherwise, maybe she wants a bit more attention.

[Oz]

OK. The update -

1. Still going out with Sarah
2. Caroline and me are a good quality maybe when she get's back from 6 months in Ghana(sp?) on an exchange program next year. She has always had at least a little bit of interest.

Oz good again.

Thanks guys!

PS-Caroline has new BF - but he's a complete wanker! I give it 2 months TOPS. Bahahahahaha...

[carnut]

Okay, you're obviously in your "young and stupid" years, that allows you to be shallow, foolish, a dreamer and a person who lives his life one day at a time. That's okay, we all went through that. The big question is what do you want out of life and who can you probably achieve it with?

[Oz]

Carnut - please explain the connection between Young and Stupid. I would content that the representation of my intelligence in my AF posts make that a reasonably presumptuous comment. However here are some things I want out of life:

To own property (no mortgage) by 35

To build my dream car

To ski my way around the world

To marry out of love and not loneliness

To own my own business by 30

They're the primary ones. Secondary ones are to let ignorant comments from people I've never met from the Internet slide right on through to the keeper.

And peoples, I've had good resolution on the last 1.5 weeks and am now 'good' again.

Oz