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#1
10-11-2002, 04:04 PM
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Five things that women should never, ever ask a guy
I'm on a roll.....
There are five things that women should never, ever ask a guy, according to an article in an issue of Sassy magazine. The five questions are: 1 - "What are you thinking?" 2 - "Do you love me?" 3 - "Do I look fat?" 4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?" 5 - "What would you do if I died?" What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man does not answer properly. 1 - "What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things: a - Football b - Baseball c - How fat you are. d - How much prettier she is than you. e - How he would spend the insurance money if you died. According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of thinking." The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong answers: 2 - "Do you love me?" The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear." Wrong answers include: a - I suppose so. b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes. c - That depends on what you mean by "love". d - Does it matter? e - Who, me? Next... 3 - "Do I look fat?" The correct male response to this question is to confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include: a - I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either. b - Compared to what? c - A little extra weight looks good on you. d - I've seen fatter. e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy. And then, there's this one: 4 - "Do you think she's prettier than me?" The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring at so hard that you almost cause a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier." Wrong answers include: a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way. b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things. c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality. d - Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner. e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy. 5 - "What would you do if I died?" Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." This might be the stupidest question of the lot, as is illustrated by the following stupid joke: "Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?" "Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?" "Would you remarry?" persevered the wife. "No, of course not, dear" said the husband. "Don't you like being married?" said the wife. "Of course I do, dear" he said. "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" "All right," said the husband, "I'd remarry." "You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt. "Yes" said the husband. "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause. "Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband. "I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?" "I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband. "Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?" "Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do." "Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too." "Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."
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Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) 
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#2
10-11-2002, 04:11 PM
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lol, I've been asked all of those
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2000 BMW 323IT 1954 Ford F100 With every post my penis grows smaller Yakima Valley Truck Club Yakima Washington
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#4
10-11-2002, 08:37 PM
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I get asked at least 4 of those questions every single day. Usually, I will be woken from a deep slumber for the sole purpose of answering them, which only adds to the complexity of things.
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#6
10-12-2002, 02:21 AM
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Does this dress make me look fat?
No, I don't think it's the dress 
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2000 BMW 323IT 1954 Ford F100 With every post my penis grows smaller Yakima Valley Truck Club Yakima Washington
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#7
10-12-2002, 08:29 PM
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Do you guys lie if a woman asks you any one of those questions? If so, why do you lie rather than be honest with her?
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#8
10-12-2002, 08:52 PM
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Quote:
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My dream, feel free to donate some money to help 
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#9
10-12-2002, 09:02 PM
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I'm too young to care if I say the correct thing or not, but being me, I know what to do. :smoker2:
But those were funny yogs!!! :hehehe::hehehe:
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#12
10-13-2002, 10:19 AM
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Ok, sorry guys because this might be a question a chick should never ask a guy but if you cheated on your girlfriend would you tell her or try to hide it?
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#13
10-13-2002, 06:33 PM
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Quote:
Talk about a "that depends" answer :right: :right: :right:
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#14
10-13-2002, 07:14 PM
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well if your lover(or whoever it may concern) asks you any of these questions it aint that bad to tell a white lie if it makes her feel better..............
__________________
Formerly known as De$i Gank$ta  Current Status:100% New Project:Audi Chop Currently Working On:Nothing Current Mods: Everythings done Link:Click Here
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#15
10-13-2002, 08:29 PM
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I can see your point about the "white lie" to make her feel better but how would you feel? If you were truly in love with this girl and she thought something was going on and it really was could you live with yourself and lie to her while looking into her eyes?
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