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#1
04-05-2006, 02:58 AM
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Now this is f**king funny!!!!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?" I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that chick knows I'm smarter than her.
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MAKE ART, NOT WAR |
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#2
04-05-2006, 03:59 AM
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Re: Now this is f**king funny!!!!
that was GENIUS
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The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious... He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand to rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
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#3
04-05-2006, 04:59 AM
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Re: Now this is f**king funny!!!!
lol, i got that on myspace yesterday. Hilarious.
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Pictures of the Truck |
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#4
04-05-2006, 05:05 AM
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Re: Now this is f**king funny!!!!
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#5
04-05-2006, 08:54 AM
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Re: Now this is f**king funny!!!!
 That was funny.
__________________
2001 Honda S2000 New Formula Red Mods: Engine: Comptech Air Intake Box, miscellanous chrome dress up pieces Suspension: Comptech front strut tower bar Exterior: Grillcraft grill, lots of wax Interior: Rick's leather console cover, Muz one-piece luxury floormats, Rick's windscreen, Electronics/Audio: Polk speakers Wheels/tires: 18" SSR Competition wheels with 225/40 and 255/35 tires 
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#6
04-05-2006, 09:55 AM
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Re: Now this is f**king funny!!!!
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2008 KIA Spectra5 SX 2010 Honda CR-V EX 
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#7
04-05-2006, 10:09 AM
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Re: Now this is f**king funny!!!!
Haha while it is a repost, its still a good read.. also im going to do that if some girl ever pulls that on me, just because itd be funny as hell and a big payback.
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#10
04-05-2006, 10:48 AM
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Re: Now this is f**king funny!!!!
Quote:
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99 passport 3.2L v6 DOHC auto-trans 4x4 modified IFS 10 bolt front/ dana 44 4.10 rear    SKYWARN we be clubbin'  --B |
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#11
04-05-2006, 12:19 PM
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Re: Now this is f**king funny!!!!
Old but still funny as hell.
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 Proud member of DAMM: Drunks Against Mad Mothers Quote:
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#12
04-05-2006, 12:43 PM
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Re: Now this is f**king funny!!!!
Old, but still OWNED
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#14
04-05-2006, 03:31 PM
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Re: Now this is f**king funny!!!!
Quote:
http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbul...d.php?t=470131 The year before(2004): http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbul...d.php?t=240160 The year before that(2003): http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbul...d.php?t=100403 And the year before that(2002): http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbul...ad.php?t=58764 I do believe the correct term is, umm.... OWNED
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#15
04-05-2006, 03:44 PM
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Re: Now this is f**king funny!!!!
Quote:
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Proud member of DAMM: Drunks Against Mad Mothers Quote:
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