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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
10-15-2005, 06:02 PM
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Not Tonite! Kind of a true story...
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep... The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?! I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. 
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http://public.fotki.com/tonioseven/ 
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#2
10-15-2005, 06:08 PM
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Re: Not Tonite! Kind of a true story...
good, but old. sorry tonio, too late.
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Seatbelts Saved My Life 
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#3
10-15-2005, 06:17 PM
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 That was great.
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#4
10-15-2005, 06:37 PM
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LMAO
 brilliant. score another one for tonio.
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For once, just once, stfu and let everyone enjoy the thread. Thank you. -crazayjay
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#5
10-15-2005, 06:57 PM
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Re: Not Tonite! Kind of a true story...
Quote:
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 SoStAsSaId: and the flight attendant is cute... if i was a lesbian, i'd join the mile high club  <---call this number
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#9
10-15-2005, 10:17 PM
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Re: Not Tonite! Kind of a true story...
Haha. Good one tonio.
__________________
2001 Honda S2000 New Formula Red Mods: Engine: Comptech Air Intake Box, miscellanous chrome dress up pieces Suspension: Comptech front strut tower bar Exterior: Grillcraft grill, lots of wax Interior: Rick's leather console cover, Muz one-piece luxury floormats, Rick's windscreen, Electronics/Audio: Polk speakers Wheels/tires: 18" SSR Competition wheels with 225/40 and 255/35 tires 
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#10
10-15-2005, 10:42 PM
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fucking awespoe, never heard it,,
off top[oic it toke me 5 minuts toe sign in gbecus im drunk...18 year old pissp oist!!!!! out......gooe joke...
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Wait a minute, you mean to say a bottle of pop is bigger than your engine?? "Pain is weakness leaving your body" There is NO replacement, for displacement... 2007 Kawasaki ZX10-R S.E.
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#11
10-16-2005, 12:32 AM
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Re: Not Tonite! Kind of a true story...
Heh, I should've done that to my wife years ago.
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Thought for the Day… Alcohol does not make you fat - It makes you lean... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.  If a prostitute here in America loses her job to a prostitute in India , is that considered "outwhoring"??-Jay Leno
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#12
10-16-2005, 12:40 AM
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Re: Not Tonite! Kind of a true story...
good joke, but wasnt this posted like a few weeks ago here?
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