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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
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*** Things to do on an elevator. ***
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. Sell Girl Scout cookies. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. Shave. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. When at your floor, strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!" Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. One word: Flatulence! Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!" Give religious tracts to each passenger. Meow occasionally. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. Frown and mutter "Gotta go...Gotta go..." then sigh and say "Oops!" Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side. Stare at a passenger and announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. Burp, and then say "Mmmmm...tasty!" Leave a box between the doors. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. Start a sing-along. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?" Play the harmonica. Shadow box. Say "Ding!" at each floor. Lean against the button panel. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and inform the other passengers that this is your "personal space." Bring a chair along. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?" Blow spit bubbles. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger." If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch! And yes, I know I think too much. But what do you expect, sitting behind a desk, hearing people whine and bitch all day long. Annoying people is going to be my new hobby.
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Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
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#2
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You make these up?
Good shit. |
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#3
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What ever happened to just pushing a button and then waiting ??????...LOL
GOOOOOOD STUFF DVS !!! |
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#4
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LOL, I guess it's a hobby, well it's better than making mail-bombs anywyas.
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![]() ec437 on grammar; Quote:
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#5
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Quote:
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[000000] I-6 Power
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#6
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As I think of more, I will entertain my followers of the DVS one! MUAHAHAHAHA.
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Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
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#7
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Hmmmmm, someone likes posting emails.....
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Someone give me a cookie |
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#8
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I think DVS was a lonely child !!!
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Current Build.....1/12 Scale Camaro......Almost finished!!! ![]() ![]() View All My Models Here. |
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#9
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I have a pet mouse named Pretty Ricky!!
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Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
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#10
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DVS.....I think your starting to lose the plot :finger: :finger: :flash: :flash:
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Current Build.....1/12 Scale Camaro......Almost finished!!! ![]() ![]() View All My Models Here. |
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#11
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FFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!
One of my favorites I didn't see above ![]() Pretty funny list though
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---------------------LX98Civic ---------------- nemesls_2000 ------- civickid77---------------- --- --- --- -- Sleeper in the middle -- --- --- ---
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#12
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my stomach hurts,it's too damn funny,good ones man:silly2:
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Proud member of AF's Lazy crew Snow,snow let it snow Af Nordic crew #008 team drift cat official member#5 Originally posted by sparq CANADA RULES :finger: CANADA RULES -- thats all that matters :ylsuper |
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#13
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classic stuff :hehehe: :hehehe:
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Darkness. ![]() The new official owner of www.darkness.co.nz (but theres nothing there yet.) ------------ "Have you seen Star Wars? The Darkness is the Force on crack" |
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#14
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classic stuff...but i got one for you...
sing "this is the song that never ends....yes, it goes on and on my friends...some people, staaaarted singing it not knowing what it was, and they continued singing it forever just because......This is the song that never ends..." this would KILL me.... deuces
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Proud Member of The JSNFC Crew "We are the middle children of history, with no purpose or place. Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives." |
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#15
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I got one for ya.
Get on a full elevator with your friend and have you hands covered in blood. Then have your friend say,"Oh my God man! Why did you do that!" Then you say,"because he kept looking at the back of my neck." |
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