Abortion

[Lady Laminator]

Originally Posted by Revhard

I was just wondering what everyone's insight on this particualr issue is. You never know when you might be caught up in a situation where you have to make a choice whether or not to let her have one.

Hi firstly i have just found myself on the flip side of this situation and whilst desperatly searching the web for help , i found this disgussion your all having
( not only that but i also make show cars and cover cars how flukie is that )so i joined AF firstly inorder to thankyou all for showing me im not compleatly alone in not knowing what the right thing to do IF indeed there is a right thing to do
and secondly id like to add my REAL twist to the situation and see if you can help me out here.

long story short..in long term relationship love him to death,already have two kids from failed relationship love them to death too! have disgussed that we want further child of our own one day in the FUTURE........problem........last night i discovered im pregnant i was thrilled to bits but He says hes not ready and would like me to have an abortion,since we have alot on our plate anyway.....i really dont want to and i dont think i can but,,, hes not giving in (in his last relationship the same thing happened to him and his ex did have an abortion)what do i do? ...i agree with abortions in desperate situations ONLY and even then only if it is caught in the very early stages .

any advice ? thanks!

[DGB454]

Tough one.

Don't let anyone make you do what you know you don't want to do. Especially when it comes to another life.I feel children are a gift and it sounds like you think the same about them. If you guys can't handle having another child right now then that child could be a gift in someone elses life.
Adoption is always an option. I imagine it would be hard to give up a child you have carried for almost a year but at least that child will have the chance to grow up.

This is about your life and your unborn childs life. I know it's hard but try and make your decision based on the 2 of you and not on what he wants even though you love him. After all it's going to affect the 2 of you a lot more than it will him.

My 2 cents.

[Lady Laminator]

thanks for the reply

i desperatly want to keep the baby and i couldnt give him/her away for adoption either ,last night i cried my eyes out and tried to plead with him and i got "its not a baby yet its only cells" "we havent done all the things i planned yet like holidays and stuff" "im not ready its to quick i dont want to be forced into it" ...as my reply......... its almost like he wants to belive that its not there really and instead i have something else wrong and all i have to do is just nip to the chemist and bobs your uncle its sorted.
i have had a rough time with guys before and this is the first man i have ever been treated properly by and he really does look after me right down to tea and toast in bed everyday , he works really hard and is perfect for me so now im in a dilema do i keep the baby and cling to the knowlege/hope that when he lays eyes on it he will be instantly in love with it and forgive me,,,,,,,,or get rid of it and spend my life outwardly pretending that he was right and inside hating myself for what i did and wondering about the what ifs...
i know nobody out there can make the decision for me but i have found this to be a bit of an outlet for me at the moment so when i get peoples opinions i am taking the bits that i can use in disgussions with him later and trying to use the suggestions carefully to turn his opinion around...
im sure i just cant do what he wants,, im totally prepared to have this baby but i dont want to lose him in the process.......

[DGB454]

I don't even want to pretend to know what you are going through right now. Having someone you love on one hand and having someone who is truley a part of you on the other. It's a really hard choice to make. I don't want to tell you what I would do because I'm not you. I do think it's easier for him to make a decision than it is for you because quite frankly he's not a woman. He can't see things from a womans point of view. He doesn't have a life growing inside him. He doesn't know how it feels to have someone totally dependant on him for it's life as you do. He will never feel the bond that only a Mother and her child has.
Make the choice that is right for you. If he really loves you he will listen to you. He may not like it but he will listen. Explain to him how you feel. Try and make him see that the child isn't just cells but is a real human being. It's his child. It's his boy or girl.
If he wants to wait till he has done everything he wants to do before having a child then that day will never come. I have been there. I kept telling my wife I wanted to wait till we were ready financially. We waited for years but we never seemed to be where I wanted us to be. Finally I woke up and saw how much it meant to her to have a child and gave in. The funny thing was that we found a way to make it with what we had. Things are better financially now and my son is 12 years old. I am so glad I didn't wait. I don't want to think what life would be like without him.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I will look forward to hearing from you again. Keep talking and we/I will listen.

[jon@af]

I went ahead and split this thread for you guys, since you have arguments for discussion.

[MagicRat]

Originally Posted by thrasher

And yet the massive explosion of humans on our planet is depleting our natural resources, and more importantly causing the destruction of the habitats for millions of species, without whom we cannot exist.

If you truly feel this way, and are heartless enough to use it as an abortion argument, put your money where your mouth is and jump off a bridge!!
Otherwise, use a bit of human compassion, tactfulness and sensitivity

[DGB454]

Wasn't this thread suppose to be about Lady Laminator and her decision she is faced with? It wasn't suppose to be about if abortion is right or wrong was it?

[thrasher]

Oh shit, I meant to post in the other abortion thread, I don't know how it got here instead. I apologize to Lady Laminator, my post was not intended to be in this thread, and as such it is taken out of context.Sorry!!

[boingo82]

Lady_Laminator, may I suggest you head on over to www.babycenter.com/community and go to the "termination for non-medical reasons" forum, also the "teen parents" forum. You will find women there in your same situation and those that have gotten through it and will probably get some good advice, they're very helpful.

[jon@af]

Figures, I try to make a new discussion out of an old one and end up screwing it up. Sorry guys.

[Lady Laminator]

[quote=DGB454]I don't even want to pretend to know what you are going through right now. ..

firstly ,thankyou for replying, i have spent the entire weekend pulling every trick out the hat to try and save this baby ..im really glad you wrote about your experience and im going to ask him to read the entire thread right from the begining where ever that was and hopfully it will help.
ive screamed tantrums at him ,ive talked calm and quietly but we are in a dead lock situation the timing is all wrong for him and thats that however.. we have come to the conclusion that we need to discover how far gone i am ,and what the options are.He has agreed that if the baby is old enough inside me to resemble "a baby "and not 'cells' then we will keep it.

i skived the day from work today to go to the doctors but when i got there its bloody bank holiday and theres nobody there "tyipical"
thats another thing ,,,,,work,,,,, i work with fiberglass and resins and spray paint and im not convinced there is a breathing mask in the world that can save me and the baby from inhaling the vapours and not look suspicously over cautious all of a sudden.......


i also am going to look at those web pages that were suggested too (thankyou).
im starting to feel that he should be sat at the pc finding help too!,

[TexasF355F1]

Welcome to AF. I can say I'm agree with your choice in that abortions should only occur in desperate situations. Hope things work out.

[DGB454]

[quote=Lady Laminator]

Originally Posted by DGB454

I don't even want to pretend to know what you are going through right now. ..

firstly ,thankyou for replying, i have spent the entire weekend pulling every trick out the hat to try and save this baby ..im really glad you wrote about your experience and im going to ask him to read the entire thread right from the begining where ever that was and hopfully it will help.
ive screamed tantrums at him ,ive talked calm and quietly but we are in a dead lock situation the timing is all wrong for him and thats that however.. we have come to the conclusion that we need to discover how far gone i am ,and what the options are.He has agreed that if the baby is old enough inside me to resemble "a baby "and not 'cells' then we will keep it.

i skived the day from work today to go to the doctors but when i got there its bloody bank holiday and theres nobody there "tyipical"
thats another thing ,,,,,work,,,,, i work with fiberglass and resins and spray paint and im not convinced there is a breathing mask in the world that can save me and the baby from inhaling the vapours and not look suspicously over cautious all of a sudden.......


i also am going to look at those web pages that were suggested too (thankyou).
im starting to feel that he should be sat at the pc finding help too!,

How far along do you figure you are?

Don't worry about being overly cautious all of the sudden. Just tell the people at work you saw a special on the news about how bad those fumes are and you want to be careful.

Let us know how things work out.

[Prelewd]

Originally Posted by TexasF355F1

.. Hope things work out.

Things always work out. Lady Laminator, you will get through whatever choice you and your boyfriend/spouse make. Keep that in mind when things get hard and you will be fine. That kind of thinking has helped me through some tough spots and holds fairly true in any situation. Best of luck to you.

[l33tc4k30fd00m]

I think perhaps this "guy" is somewhat selfish is some respects (understatement).

Don't take the emotional trauma of having an abortion lightly. It isn't a good idea to go for something like this if there is any doubt in your mind... Much less if you don't want to do it at all in the first place.

Saying that at this point "the baby" is just cells doesn't really wash with me. I wouldn't find comfort in the fact that the potential human being I had just killed (some might say murdered... but whatever) was "just cells". Because... In the end that's what is happening here. Dead human being.

You're obviously not in a condition to have an abortion. But it's your choice.

Remember this is YOUR BABY. No one but you should have the right to choose if you go through with this (with the possible exception of the baby itself).