Beat these Tonio!!!

[Damien]

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.

"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees.

"What's the second condition?"

"You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and **very** satisfied.

"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"

"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."

"I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"

"I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter, something or other...."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you hear that Captain Hook died from jock itch?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood reached into her picnic basket, pulled out a .44 magnum and said, "No! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."

Mickey replied, "No I didn't. I said she is fuckin' Goofy,"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters whenever they had sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"

Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?

[Oz]

Best jokes for a damn long time! Very good!

[TheNotoriousMogg]

Those were great

[eversio11]

hahaha oh man those were amazing. I didn't get the first one at first, and the little red riding hood one was kinda lame, but man.. good stuff there.

[Toksin]

Brilliant.

[quarter_mile]

lame except for the captain hook one.

[Hyatus]

the snow white 1 and the 1st one were great

[Zcaithaca]

i loved the mickey mouse one

[zebrathree]

Originally Posted by Toksin

Brilliant.

Could this be counted as post whoring?

YOU SLUT! YOU SHOULD BE BANNED!

[YogsVR4]

Funny stuff

[tonioseven]

I loved them all!! I'm also thinking about hanging up my joke crown

[Toksin]

Originally Posted by zebrathree

Could this be counted as post whoring?

YOU SLUT! YOU SHOULD BE BANNED!

Come on then.


YOU FUCKING WANT SOME?!?!?!

[xviciousx]

Pretty good... I got one:

Little Miss Muppet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and way
along came a spider
and sat down beside her
and said:
"What's in the bowl bitch?"

haha... ha... yeah it's dumb

[Zcaithaca]

Originally Posted by xviciousx

"What's in the bowl bitch?"

IM RICK JAMES BITCH!

[xviciousx]

in teh sig