Warning...

[replicant_008]

Words of wisdom unfortunately learned from hard won experience.

1. Don't screw the crew

2. Don't date anyone who does not have a green card

3. Don't date anyone younger or older than you by more than 5 years or is a teenager

4. Don't date anyone from Canada (they are all as mad as a hatter), certain parts of Great Britain (ditto), Louisiana or are from West Auckland or Western parts of Sydney (come to think of it WA and Tasmania too)

5. Don't date sergeants from the USMC - or anyone who can strip and reassemble an M-16 in less than 30 seconds blindfolded... especially if they are from Louisiana...

6. Don't date married women especially ones with kids and especially ones who have husbands... and definitely ones who have recently separated eg the weekend after you meet them for the first time (don't ask)

7. Don't date someone who can drink more than you

8. Don't date someone who does more intoxicating substances than you

9. Don't date someone who works in a bar/restaurant or cafe

10. Don't date anyone that you need to pull up your diary to book the next time you see them

11. Don't have a long distance relationship

12. Don't date your friends - no matter how tempting she may be, it won't work and for that matter any of your friend's children...

13. Don't date flatmates (flat incest just ends up in tears)

14. Don't date anyone where their IQ differs from yours by more than 25 points

15. Don't date someone with exactly the same interests (you'll be bored in a flash)

16. Don't date someone out of sympathy or pity

17. Don't date someone who showers less often than you do and shaves less than once a week

18. Don't date anyone that you want to change or alternatively expect to never change

19. Don't date someone for their money and possessions

20. Employ the philosophy that nearly all women employ - what's in it for me? when considering aspects of how you should respond otherwise you'll end up being vamped continually...

[originalmike]

Originally Posted by replicant_008

5. Don't date sergeants from the USMC - or anyone who can strip and reassemble an M-16 in less than 30 seconds blindfolded... especially if they are from Louisiana...

I'll keep that in mind...

[chicago_guy]

Originally Posted by replicant_008

5. Don't date sergeants from the USMC - or anyone who can strip and reassemble an M-16 in less than 30 seconds blindfolded... especially if they are from Louisiana...

Well, a lot of people in the Marines can strip and re-assemble an M-16 in less than 30 seconds, not just sergeants. But I get the point. Also, don't date a girl whose brother is a sniper for the USMC. I made that mistake, and let me tell you, a guy messing around with a .50 sniper rifle in front of you while asking you questions about your date with his little sister is pretty damn intimidating.

[spooleffect]

STAY AWAY FROM STRIPPERS AND BARTENDERS/COCKTAIL WAITRESSES!

Sure they may seem cool(and hot) at first..............

[Jay!]

Originally Posted by replicant_008

Words of wisdom unfortunately learned from hard won experience.

Twenty jewels of truth, though seventeen of them may be too advanced for this audience.

[replicant_008]

Originally Posted by spooleffect

STAY AWAY FROM STRIPPERS AND BARTENDERS/COCKTAIL WAITRESSES!

Sure they may seem cool(and hot) at first..............

I think that's covered in...
9. Don't date someone who works in a bar/restaurant or cafe

That covers waitresses, cooks, bartenders, cashiers and kitchen hands... especially if they are the sister of the owner and you work there... (yeah I know that's a multiple breach - don't screw the crew but it was also... don't date someone who can drink more than you, don't date someone who takes more intoxicating substances than you.)

Oh yeah and another time it included: no green card, drinks more, takes more intoxicating substances, more than 5 years younger, came from Great Britain, was my friend and had an IQ differing by more than 25 points.

Opposites may attract gentleman but you end up with a 2 pair hand of black eights and aces... the dead man's hand...

[taranaki]

13. Don't date flatmates (flat incest just ends up in tears)

took me 19 years to figure that one out.

[spooleffect]

Originally Posted by replicant_008

I think that's covered in...
9. Don't date someone who works in a bar/restaurant or cafe

I was putting more emphasis on the subject. I can't emphasis the STAY AWAY FROM STRIPPERS enough though.

[benny27]

6. Don't date married women especially ones with kids and especially ones who have husbands... and definitely ones who have recently separated eg the weekend after you meet them for the first time (don't ask)

that one has hunted me for 2 years now

but the other one i had beers with a week later and it was all good

go finger

[YogsVR4]

Sage advice