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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
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Couple of jokes
> > A couple was sitting up waiting for their
> > 15 year old son to come home from a social > > engagement when the boy came into > > the house with a big smile on his face. > > > > "Hi, Mum! Hi, Dad! he said breathlessly. > > "Guess what! > > I've just had sex for the first time, and it > > was wonderful!" > > > > His mother turned red and said to her > > husband, > > "He's your son. You talk to him". > > Then she left the room. > > > > The father said, "Son, that's great. > > Now you've become a man and I'm > > proud of you. I'm going to celebrate the > > occasion by buying you that ten-speed bike > > you've been wanting. I hope you don't mind > > waiting till payday to get it". > > > > "That's OK, Dad", said the boy. "I couldn't > > ride it right now anyway. > > My arsee is too sore..." > >_________________________________________________ _______________ > > > > A "modern" Islamic couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets > > with > > > their Mullah for counselling. The Mullah asks if they have any last > > > questions before they leave. > > > > > > The man asks, "We realize it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance > > > with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding > > reception, > > we'd > > > like your permission to dance together." > > > > > > "Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women >always > > > dance separately." > > > > > > "So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?" "No," > > answered > > > the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam." > > > > > > "Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have >sex?" > > > > > > "Of course!," replies the Mullah, "Allah ho Akbar! Sex is OK within > > > marriage, to have children!" > > > > > > "What about different positions?" asks the man. "Allah ho Akbar! No > > > problem," says the Mullah. > > > > > > "Woman on top?" the man asks. "Sure," says the Mullah. "Allah ho > > > Akbar. Go for it!" > > > > > > "Doggy style?" "Sure! Allah ho Akbar!" > > > > > > "On the kitchen table?" "Yes, yes! Allah ho Akbar!" > > > > > > "Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with >a > > > bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a >bucket > > of > > > honey and a porno video?" > > > > > > "You may indeed. Allah ho Akbar!" > > > > > > "Can we do it standing up?" "No." says the Mullah." > > > > > > "Why not?" asks the man. "Because that could lead to > > dancing!!!!!!!!!!"
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#2
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ive heard the first one before.. i've always linked it to this kid dave at school... what a queer (hes not really gay, he only amited that he was a flaming homo..)
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#3
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i've heard the first one. second one was okay.
is Oz loosing his knack? or running out of sites? :finger:
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