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  #1  
Old 03-26-2003, 07:25 AM
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More on the Difficulties with English

*****
Why English Is So Hard To Learn


1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell into the sewer.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor
ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce
and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese?

One index, two indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people and not computers and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights
are out, they are invisible.













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Old 03-26-2003, 11:50 AM
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Lol!
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Old 03-26-2003, 02:22 PM
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:ylsuper

Truly good value!
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Old 03-26-2003, 03:55 PM
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More:

Why is two spelled three different ways?
won and one sound the same
Why is why spelled why when it could be just y?

I have more but my brain hurts...

Scott
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Old 03-26-2003, 04:26 PM
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why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

also, why isnt phoenetic spelled the way it sounds?
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Old 03-26-2003, 11:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by shadowboy
...

also, why isnt phoenetic spelled the way it sounds?
Well, if you want to get technical about it, it's actually spelled "phonetic". You put too many "E"s in there.
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Old 03-27-2003, 01:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by boingo82


Well, if you want to get technical about it,
Steady,Emily, we're not all members of the linguistic master race.

A nice post there Yogs.:sun:
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