April fools gag or what?

[wrightz28]

Alright, ladies and gentleman.

Last night I was woken out of bed to "present" from my wife. The present being a positive m-f'n pregnancy test

Yes we want a girl, but now is a really bad time for this.

So this morning while trying not to have conjestive heart failure and caffine starts getting my gears going, it hits me: "maybe this is some sort of sick ass April fool's gag"

Reasons:

1-after complaining of "not feeling well" in the morning for a few days, she started to hint at the fact she may be a couple of days ago. Yet still drinking beer after work for the same amount of days

2-after "testing +" she still woke this morning and had a morning cigarette, a huge "what the hell is the matter with you" in her personal parenting rules. (applies to reason 1 as well.)

3-claims to not be able to get in to see a doctor for a few weeks yet (around the 1st), yet we have PPO insurance, you can go where ever the hell you want.

4-I was not very enthusiastic the "news" last night. Being 8 short years awya from complete child freedom and with uncertain employment situation, I did not need this. But under any other circumstance, the 'lack of enthusiam' I had would have resulted in a long ass night of complaining, whining, and bitching until I was just as excited. I was allowed to go right back to sleep :duuno:

5-all her friends know I want retired from the child raising business

So, it's polling time boys and girls!

[2.2 Straight six]

i don't think it's a gag. it's not April first yet. and you're not screwed even if you do have a kid. might not be a good time now, but if your wife is pregnant, you've got 9 months for everything to straighten out.

i want to have kids, no doubt about it. late-twenties when i've worked for a while, saved up a bit and have a solid house and steady income. i can't wait.. (seriously, i can't.)

don't worry about it. i think you're experiencing the initial stage known as the "WTF?" phase.

[wrightz28]

Originally Posted by 2.2 Straight six

you've got 9 months for everything to straighten out.

don't worry about it. i think you're experiencing the initial stage known as the "WTF?" phase.

After rainsing "little hellians" for 10 years, 9 months goes by real damn fast.

That said, doing this twice already, the "wtf phase" no longer exsists.

Don't know how it is across the pond, the this is a very volitle time for employment, so knowing my position would be closing almost a year ago, nothing still has come to frutition with 3 months left before d-day. In addition, we almost sold our house due to financial issues, combined with the job situation. Now that we just re-evaluated, we can make it, this happens.

[Earlsfat]

OOOOOOOOHHHH MAN!

Dude, I can say one thing... if it IS a gag, it is only fitting that you get her with a "banana in her tailpipe" the next time you're going at it. IF you KNOW it's a gag, then you should come home early one day all mad and disheveled, smear some lipstick on your neck and lips and tell her you were screwing a girl that works with you and the boss walked in and fired you on the spot.

If it's true, however, then you should still get her with a "banana in her tailpipe" from here forward just as an extra measure of precaution to avoid future "surprises".

And besides, if it IS true, you're only adding 10 years to being child free, ain't that bad. You're what mid-30's. No problems. Retire when you're 55 or so... its all good.


Dude, when my wife told me she was pregnant the first time, I laid down on the floor and couldn't move for about 45 minutes, broke out into a sweat and all. "But we don't have any money, we don't even own a house..." HAHAAAA! Good times. If I were you though I'd get her to be level with you, that ain't something to joke about.

[poormillionaire2]

First thing, its not April yet, its just mid-March. So she's early anyways. And something this serious isn't something you joke about. I'd be super-pissed if it does turn out to be a joke and that would call for some serious methodical revenge right there. But her behavior with the alcohol and nicotine consumption makes me want to think just that, its a joke. Because most women who become pregnant start thinking about their curreny lifestyle and habits hardcore. My aunt was a big smoker, and as soon as she found out she was pregnant, she quit, it was amazing. So, tell her to stop that stuff since she wants you to 'believe' she's pregnant and see what she does. But if she really is, congrats, but at the same time, I'm sorry the timing couldn't be better.

[wrightz28]

Ah but see, check the calander my freind. "Can't get to the doctor for a couple of weeks". Couple of weeks is April fool's. And yes,

Methodical revenge???

Oh yeah, let's put it this way. A couple of years ago, she had about half the family population freaking out when they thought her father, who had just had a heart attack was arrested for stealing a pay phone from the local restuarant. See, he collects old phones, and always said says everytime he goes in there how easy it would be to just snatch it down for spare parts.

Since her and all of her girlfriends were together for a bachlorette party last weekend (which right after all this got started) the timing couldn't make it any more contraversial. All her girlfriends are either just getting done having kids or getting started, so they are all: "hey when you guys ready for another?"

hell no!

[poormillionaire2]

I see...
Still a sick and twisted joke. Its like joking that you died just to see how people would react. I think it has crossed the line, and I can't believe I am saying this, because I practically live on the other side of the line.

[Earlsfat]

DYLAN... here's the BEST...

Go up to her and say.. "Honey, I'm sorry. I guess I'm excited about you being pregnant, but what I just don't understand is how it happened. I mean... well... you remember when I had that "sore back"??? Well I really went and had a vasectomy, just so that we wouldn't have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy. So I guess I'm happy and sad. It's great that you're pregnant, but here's the divorce papers you two timing slut..." and pull out a set of divorce papers from off the net. See what she says. If she cracks... banana in the tailpipe... if she starts crying... dude your fucked. And then you have to think of a really good way to apologize, cause after a stunt like that you're done.

[wrightz28]

Trust me, if this does end up being "a joke" revenge will be on a undheard of playing field.

Revenge is a dish that best served cold
-old Klingon proverb

[wrightz28]

Update:

I think we can put a wrap on this, for now.

Finally landed another job today and keeping my salary range. Called her up and she was all excited on how all this is going to be so much easier now with job security and everything else so.....................

I'm still going to keep a speculative eye on her this weekend

[2.2 Straight six]

Originally Posted by Earlsfat

If it's true, however, then you should still get her with a "banana in her tailpipe" from here forward just as an extra measure of precaution to avoid future "surprises".

You'd still have to use condoms or other contraception. 8% of couples who use anal sex as a contraceptive meansure end up with kids.

[Earlsfat]

Originally Posted by 2.2 Straight six

You'd still have to use condoms or other contraception. 8% of couples who use anal sex as a contraceptive meansure end up with kids.

I guess if you knocked up your old lady and only had anal sex... Shithead would be a fitting name for the kid.

[2.2 Straight six]

that's.... lovely.

[1986Z28]

shithead.. lol

[stieh2000]

Today's april 1st, was it a gag or real?