Best Friend Ethics

[Gonthrax]

Well folks, here's the delema... I have a friend, not my best friend but a very good friend, we've seen alot of crazy drama and been through some crazy stuff. Now he works at a theater and there are a bunch of apprentices working there. He was initialy interested in one of the female apprentices but has now made it clear with his actions (Toward another female apprentice) that he is no longer interested (Or got shot down, either one ) Now I have taken a liking to this first woman, now if you knew the guy you would understand more why this is a delema. He has a child, he has had several relationships sense and keeps ending up back with the mother, now his intentions for the child are good and fatherly in every way, I find no fault with him there. However usualy when it comes to those of the opposite sex... How should I say this, his intentions are not purly honerable. However, mine (More or less) are. Now in the past this guy has taken the "Ya snooze, ya lose" approch to a lady I was interested in, which was alright by me as there was no love interest in that situation, just... Other interests. Now my question of ethics is this... Knowing that if he does get pissed about me taking his Ya snooze, ya lose approch with this girl, he won't stay pissed, and he did it to me, and I feal that he wants nothing from her (The first girl) besides sex should I continue?

Now I didn't feal that this should be in the pholosph. section because if you wanted to break that long explination down into rougher terms it would be a very simple and clean cut question, but for the sake of bordom and making it sound all dapper and professional I chose not to say it like that

[Rich]

Here is my advice. Probably not helpful, but none the less.....

I say who gives a $hit about what this guy is gonna think. Sure hes your friend (i take it), but you shouldnt worry about what hes gonna think. Dont base your decision on what someone else has in there mind, do what you wanna do. Hes not much of a friend, if he gets all pissed about it.

Its a dog-eat-dog world out there. I, personally would "go for it" as you posted saying you have "honerable intentions".

Let us know what you decide to do.

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Here's my .02.

First, if the first female is the mother of his child, don't even bother with it. Too much drama when you're dating you're best friends ex and there is a child involved. Believe me, I've seen it happen.

Now, if this is not the case, and he is interested in another female and not the first one, then get to steppin'! If he has that type of an attitude, ya snooze, you lose, then you're wasting valuable time. Talk to the chick and see what happens with that. If he does catch feelings about it, just let him know about his own policy. It's not like you're doing it behind his back or something. Clearly you're talking to someone who is available. So do your thang, and hope for the best.

While you're at it, and if it is up your alley, try some of the other apprentices too. Never hurts to have choices.

[Gonthrax]

DVS the first girl is not this mother of his child, I'm not 'bout that sort of stuff I've already got steppin' I was just thinking about it this morning and, sense he is my friend, I had to think it through

I don't have any intentions of snoozing Hummerman I've decided that would just be silly and I'm not sure why I was indecisive in the first place

[Spec2 Girl]

I can’t see a problem with it as you said he did it to you before.

If you are feeling undecided about it, why don’t you talk to him about it and see what he says.

[darkness]

go for gold. he has no right to be pissed.

It's more than I could do.

["Pandamonium"]

Go for it.
Play by his rules & do whats right for you.

If you like this girl & he has lost interest its his problem if he doesn't like it.

The Panda has spoken!

[Gonthrax]

Originally posted by "Pandamonium"
Go for it.
Play by his rules & do whats right for you.

If you like this girl & he has lost interest its his problem if he doesn't like it.

The Panda has spoken!

And if he get's pissed I'll tell him "The Panda has spoken!" and he'll be confused laugh and things will be fine between us Thats why I'm not really worried about it

["Pandamonium"]

Originally posted by Gonthrax


And if he get's pissed I'll tell him "The Panda has spoken!" and he'll be confused laugh and things will be fine between us Thats why I'm not really worried about it

Panda's are good like that.

[Spec2 Girl]

Originally posted by "Pandamonium"


Panda's are good like that.

Good job they're good at something I suppose! :finger:

[speediva]

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Good job, they're good at something I suppose! :finger:

ooh! A hit below the belt for Spec2!!!!! Nice one!

Well, just to add my fair share of pocket change... Dude, totally go for it. People today are lame, and if he's gonna throw a hissy fit, let him. Even if this mystical woman doesn't turn out, atleast you went for it. That is beautiful by itself.

[Gonthrax]

Originally posted by saturntangerine


ooh! A hit below the belt for Spec2!!!!! Nice one!

Well, just to add my fair share of pocket change... Dude, totally go for it. People today are lame, and if he's gonna throw a hissy fit, let him. Even if this mystical woman doesn't turn out, atleast you went for it. That is beautiful by itself.

Mystical woman:licker:

As for the people are lame today, that seems to be the consensus between women I've talked to, that guys (on the most part) are lame. But this is a good thing for me 'cause all my close female friends say I'm not like most guys :sun:




No... I'll just stop any jokes that could spring forth from the "not like most guys" line... :finger:

[JD@af]

Sorry, I have to take the devil's advocate approach here. I think that you need to prioritize your relationships here: what is more important? Your friendship with him, or the potential relationship with this girl? If he is almost a best friend, in my book that is grounds to cause tension between you two. I had a decent friend back in college that I lost because I messed around with a girl that had flirted with him, led him on, and ultimately blew him off. It's foolish, but people are fickle in that sense. Many of them, simply as a character flaw (that's IMO, by the way), hold grudges related to stupid things.

What I would recommend is just talking to him about it before you make a move. Gently ask him if he'd mind if you tried to start a relationship with this girl. I think the chances of him saying "yes, I mind" are slim, and if he says "no, I don't mind" and still gets upset about it, at least this way he'll have to direct a good portion of that blame back at himself.. if he's even remotely rational.

I'll reinforce my overall rational here: relationships with the opposite sex come and go, but good friendships do not. I find it always is a bad idea to jeopoardize the latter with the former. Tread cautiously.

[speediva]

Originally posted by Gonthrax



No... I'll just stop any jokes that could spring forth from the "not like most guys" line... :finger:

Good idea. :right: It's best to have someone think you a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!



nah, I'm just playin.

[Gonthrax]

Originally posted by JD@af
I'll reinforce my overall rational here: relationships with the opposite sex come and go, but good friendships do not. I find it always is a bad idea to jeopoardize the latter with the former. Tread cautiously.

Ahhh yes, JD understands my balking at the idea of swiftly swooping in I think this is what I should do. I don't even know the girl really well right now, so I'll get to know her, assure further contact all that good stuff, and while this is happening I will be able to figure out what in the hell my friend is doing and base my actions accordingly.




Wow, we've made this out to be all technical and PC... A quick summery for those just arriving.

Dude I know wanted to holla at this chick. He met another girl who he thought he could get some booty from easier so now he's talkin to her. I like this first chick he was tryin to talk to, she's coo' and all. So I figure I'll try and talk to her, if shit doesn't look like it's gonna work out... I'll either have a new friend, or I won't