Anyone else got some telemarketer stories?

[Jonno]

So, my phone rang before, and it was a telemarketer offering me a *free* mobile phone on a plan of just $29 a month. After they explained it, and I made myself sound intrested, the conversation went a bit like this...

Me: "So, you are offering me a free mobile phone, on a plan of just $29 a month"
Them: "Yes, thats right, just $29 a month"
"So, if the mobile is free, how about you send me the mobile phone, and I will use my own sim card and forget about your plan.."
"Sorry sir, thats not quite how it works..."
"But you said the mobile is free, meaning I wouldn't need to pay for it in any way"
"Yes, thats right, you just pay for the plan"
"Well, in that case, why can't you send me just the phone?"
"Because the mobile is free, with the contract"
"I thought you said there was no contracts"
"Thats right sir"
"But you just said the mobile is free with a contract"
"Im sorry, I meant with the plan"
"Well, I am going to be completely honest with you right now"
"Ok..."
"I am not intrested in your crappy plan, but will you send me the mobile itself free of charge?"
"No, sorry sir..."
"I think you misunderstood me, I said you WILL send me the mobile free of charge"
"Im sorry, as I said, we can't do that"
*Put on hold*
"Hello, this is the supervisor speaking"
"Hi, I was just talking about my offer"
"Your offer, sir?"
"Yes, I would like to take your crappy mobile, use it for the next 6 months making unlimited calls, which you pay for, then at the end of it all, i'll give you my opinion on your crappy phone"
"Im sorry, we have a set offer which is a free mobile on a $29 a month plan"
"Well I am not intrested in that offer"
"May I ask why not?"
"Because of the abuse I have gotten from you and your employees"
"Abuse, sir?"
"Yes, I believe you called me a greasy Australian"
"I did not, sir..."
"Well, I am not intrested dispite this abuse"
"We might have another offer you might like a bit better"
"Are you trying to offer me drugs?"
"ehhh...."
"I get it now, your mobile offers are just a front, you are really drug dealers"
"No sir, we don't take part in any illegal activities here at mobile choice"
"Then I have no business with you"
"Then I believe we have nothing to offer you"
"Then why are you still speaking to me...?"
*Click, hangs up*

I usually just listen out their offer and let them down gently, just like I do ugly women, but I just couldn't help myself, needed a bit of a laugh.

Anyone else got any stories like this?

[-The Stig-]

I like to let them say their entire scripted speach... and saying "uh huh..." and "oh yeah?" ...

then when they're done. Telling them no thank you.


If they're going to waste my time, I'll waste theirs.

[-Davo]

hahaha, top shit.

[_WIDE_LOAD_]

Only one I have is me and the missus were in the middle of 'getting down', and the phone rings. Expecting it to be one of my mates, I answer the phone with "This better be good I'm f*cking the missus"
To which the voice on the other end of the phone replys, "I'm sorry sir, This is Cathy from telstra. I'll call back later". But the never did....wonder why?
Later, Troy.

[crayzayjay]

I hang up on the bastards.

[Jimster]

I hit on them.

[crayzayjay]

i should try that

[v10_viper]

Get in a fight with your friend, wife, parents, or somebody else and threaten to kill them and such, then say something to the extent of "hold on while I go take care of this fucking bitch", then either shoot a real gun(only advised outside with a cordless phone) or play music really loud that sounds like a gun into the phone. Then if they are still there talk to them.(convince them you killed somebody)

[fredjacksonsan]

Back before the federal "do not call" list, I always enjoyed asking them to hold on for a minute, and putting the phone down and going back to what I was doing.

And checking the phone a few minutes later to see if they'd hung up yet.

Repeat as necessary.


Also, all those offers you get in the mail with postage paid response? Mail them back empty, let the bastards pay postage for nothing.

[Raz_Kaz]

-This is (name of organization) we are conducting a quick survey on your experience with us, do you have time to go through it?
-Why of course, do you have time to listen?
-Certainly sir
And before they can say another word, complain about anything and everything apart from your experience with that company.

Messing with telemarketers is fun because they are not allowed to hang up on customers. Same with technical support, use this to your advantage but none of you bastids better call HP and get me!!!

[Jet-Lee]

What's your number?

[crayzayjay]

Originally Posted by fredjacksonsan

Back before the federal "do not call" list, I always enjoyed asking them to hold on for a minute, and putting the phone down and going back to what I was doing.

And checking the phone a few minutes later to see if they'd hung up yet.

Repeat as necessary.


Also, all those offers you get in the mail with postage paid response? Mail them back empty, let the bastards pay postage for nothing.

I wish they had a do not call list in the UK, the shit is really tiresome.

[Raz_Kaz]

Canadian citizens only...

[crayzayjay]

Originally Posted by crayzayjay

I wish they had a do not call list in the UK, the shit is really tiresome.

Just found one

http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps/

that is some funny stuff



My brother is a telemarketer. He gets shit all the time.