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Old 04-12-2002, 01:43 PM   #1
YogsVR4
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One liners

1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give-away).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backwards poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17.Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The midget fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.













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Old 04-12-2002, 02:06 PM   #2
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haha some of those are very good but the majority are kinda corny
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Old 04-12-2002, 02:46 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by AEstud
haha some of those are very good but the majority are kinda corny
Tell me about it
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Old 04-12-2002, 02:59 PM   #4
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What about:

1. One can short of a six pack.
2. The lights are on the doors are open but, theres nobody home.
3. Fornication, the thinking mans television.

The Panda made me do it.
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Old 04-12-2002, 03:59 PM   #5
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Re: One liners

Quote:
Originally posted by YogsVR4
1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give-away).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backwards poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17.Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The midget fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
OMG those are so freaking hilarious!!! I needed the 29 laughs!! Great stuff!! corny as heck but so freaking funny!!!

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Old 04-13-2002, 01:37 AM   #6
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Oh dear....yogs is back ,,lol

J/K....

Good to see ya back dude
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Old 04-13-2002, 08:30 AM   #7
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haha some of those are really good.

but I agree many are corny, but they are still clever!
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Old 04-13-2002, 09:02 AM   #8
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Re: One liners

Quote:
Originally posted by YogsVR4
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off.
18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
Not bad Yogs. Keep 'em rolling.
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Old 04-15-2002, 08:53 AM   #9
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beauty is in the eye of the beerholder!
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