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#1
08-21-2003, 01:19 PM
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funny one liners
 I know what day of the week you were born. I was so poor growing up ... If I wasn't born a boy .... I'd have nothing to play with. A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. One day as I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy ... "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early." It's been a rough day. I got up this morning ... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. I was such an ugly kid .... When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. I was such an ugly baby ... My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. I'm so ugly ... My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry .... We did everything we could ... But he pulled through. I'm so ugly ... My mother had morning sickness ... AFTER I was born. I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. Once when I was lost ... I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him ... "Do you think we'll ever find them? He said, "I don't know kid ... there are so many places they can hide." My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. I'm so ugly ... I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror ... I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect." 
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#3
08-21-2003, 02:14 PM
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Re: funny one liners
Quote:
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#4
08-21-2003, 02:34 PM
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I like your one-liners! hahaha I'm gonna have to remember some of those.
__________________
Give me three seconds and an etch-e-sketch and I can tell you why life sucks..
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#5
08-21-2003, 02:55 PM
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Re: Re: funny one liners
Quote:
__________________
10 PRINT "MARC-OS 0WNZ J00!!!" 20 GOTO 10 RUN 4/8/04 - My CRX is officially dead, RIP Lucy 
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#6
08-21-2003, 03:21 PM
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Re: Re: Re: funny one liners
Quote:
 Right on the money
__________________
Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm)
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#7
08-21-2003, 03:26 PM
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oh ok cool
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#8
08-22-2003, 10:00 PM
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LMAO, I like them!
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#10
08-23-2003, 12:18 AM
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"My dad gave me a box of broken glass and my brother some bandaids and told us to share"
"I was out fishing one day and it suddenly came to me...I can BUY a fish"  Thanks Mogg 
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