The 'My co-worker is an ignorant jackass' thread

[PearlGT]

This thread is for anyone with a story to tell of a dumbass or ignorant co-worker, friend or just person you know that talks like he or she knows about cars but really doesn't.

One guy I work with drives an old Volvo and slings mad BS whenever his volvo or cars in general get brought up. First he states that he has a "Vortec Stage 4 turbo upgrade" for his volvo. I automatically laugh at him and ask what a 'stage 4 turbo upgrade' constitutes. He basically says "well its different from the stage 1 that has just the turbo, the stage 4 has more parts and stuff".... Thats about all he could tell me. I walk away and then he comes back up to me and tries to tell me that he was just trying to mess with the other guy we work with and that he knows vortec mainly covers superchargers...

Ok well I just tell him he shouldn't mess with me and Steve (other guy I work with) because we know what we're talking about when it comes to cars and he comes back with "Yah man I'm sure need for speed has taught you how to tune cars, or maybe you read an issue of motor trend, have you even ever put a supercharger in a mustang?" (keep in mind he has no idea on how to work on a car, he brought a magazine up to me one day saying he was going to upgrade his exhaust, showed me what was just a muffler attatchment and told me he would be expecting 25+hp from an 'upgrade' like that)

I just go from dosile to livid when he spouts that line. This guy is a complete prick and by assuming I've obtained my knowledge on cars from innacurate video games and short magazine articles he raises my body temperature causing my blood to boil.
Then theres the fact that he's told stories from "My friend was going to get a skyline imported with etc etc etc but just settled for a free srt-4" to "My dad is going to buy me a dodge viper next month" which just heightened the extent of my massive rage towards this poser of the automotive world.
I calm down quickly and tell him he's a jackass. I walk away, giving him my last ounce of pity because even the managers are trying to fire this guy, its sad.


On a side note my friend Steve at work said that he can get a chip that adds up 80+ hp to the VW GTI he just got and I was wondering if the chip was actually capable of adding anywhere near that much. I know the chip does a lot on those little 1.8t's but I've never heard of such a gain from so little before, I'm hoping he was misinformed.


I know you guys have had similar experiences, lets hear them all.

[CivRacer95]

Oh if only Burntrice were here. He could write a book on the whole matter.

[Thourun]

I miss him .

[PearlGT]

RIP Burntrice/DetroitMuscle
he went down in flames of ownage

[kris]

Originally Posted by PearlGT

RIP Burntrice/DetroitMuscle
he went down in flames of ownage

me>burntrice

Havent been able to find his new name yet..

[drftk1d]

Originally Posted by kris

me>burntrice

Havent been able to find his new name yet..

civracer95

[CivRacer95]

Originally Posted by drftk1d

civracer95

I'm sorry, but I'm just much better looking. Plus Kris and I have met. So there's no chance.

[drftk1d]

most of the people that my friends and i suspect of bs tend to get their shit right. :dunno

[PearlGT]

Originally Posted by drftk1d

most of the people that my friends and i suspect of bs tend to get their shit right. :dunno

well not this guy. You should know that morpheus

[Musashi3000GT]

Originally Posted by drftk1d

civracer95

Dont mess with Civ man. take a look at his sig!
I came all the way back from the future only to get totally pwned!

Pearl I totally feel ya. I gotta talk to idiot refs all day who throw BS stories my way all he time. Its gotten to the point that I invited them over to the track to humilliate thier ass and get it on tape.
Tell your co-worker to join AF so we can make fum of his stupid ass.
Is his Volvo a Diesel Turbo by any chance???

oh and Burntrice lives.....he was an addict, he just wouldnt quit. hes here somewhere hidden and waiting, he will be back!

[Thourun]

oh and Burntrice lives.....he was an addict, he just wouldnt quit. hes here somewhere hidden and waiting, he will be back!

I hope so, he was wicked funny. What was the final reason for him being banned?

[chexmixa]

Originally Posted by PearlGT

On a side note my friend Steve at work said that he can get a chip that adds up 80+ hp to the VW GTI he just got and I was wondering if the chip was actually capable of adding anywhere near that much. I know the chip does a lot on those little 1.8t's but I've never heard of such a gain from so little before, I'm hoping he was misinformed.


I know you guys have had similar experiences, lets hear them all.

Actually a chip can add a boat load of horse power. I was talking to my friends dad who builds VW race cars and races them. He works at a VW proving grounds so he gets to dick around with software and such.

The VW 1.8 turbo is VERY underrated. Mainly for reliablity issues and because they don't want them to compete with the audis. They have a tune at the proving grounds that bumps up the hp from 180-215 and the torque from 180-240. I couldn't believe what he was saying. Granted you can't get this tune anywhere because it is a custom tune but a nice chip will up the car from 180 to 200hp and 210tq. with just a chip. Add on the basic bolt ons and your looken at some decent hp.

There is no bs in my post all of it is 100% true, i got it straight from his mouth and i am as dumbfouded as you are.

[TheStang00]

the most annoying kid i know like this keeps telling me i should put a cold air intake on my car and paint my engine parts red... keep in mind my car is dark green. "dude a cold air intake sittin ontop of the engine right there would make your car badass"... yeah good thing cold air intakes dont sit on top of the engine.

[PearlGT]

Originally Posted by Musashi3000GT

Dont mess with Civ man. take a look at his sig!
I came all the way back from the future only to get totally pwned!

Pearl I totally feel ya. I gotta talk to idiot refs all day who throw BS stories my way all he time. Its gotten to the point that I invited them over to the track to humilliate thier ass and get it on tape.
Tell your co-worker to join AF so we can make fum of his stupid ass.
Is his Volvo a Diesel Turbo by any chance???

oh and Burntrice lives.....he was an addict, he just wouldnt quit. hes here somewhere hidden and waiting, he will be back!

Well he basically took me aside and told me he had the "whatever stage turbo kit that came stock with the car...." so I'm guessing its the turbo diesel volvo and when he saw the word turbo on his car he just assumed it was the fastest damn thing ever made.


And Chex thats some good info to have man. I'm thankful it wasn't the 80+hp gains he was speaking of but I'll have to be much more cautious when confronting his gti when he gets it chipped.

I'll give him a run when the boosted car comes in (work on it starts may 7 and they said it should be 2 weeks from when they start) and let you all know how that goes. I'll blow the doors off of that fag with the volvo if he manages to keep his job for that long as well.

Edit - Oh and that kid was talking mad trash on my friend steve about his VW as well, making claims of killing numerous golfs with his volvo but then he was reminded Steve's car is a GTI and got a little timid about his trash talking after we talked him down from his high horse. We'll have to put him in the middle lane to be sure we blow all of his doors off.

[RaidenKing]

By the way guys this will be the new username I'll be using in order to lay rest to the old pearl 3000gt and give praise to what is yet to come.