Questions to ponder....

[Raz_Kaz]

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

Can someone be a closet claustrophobic?

Would a part-time bandleader be considered a semi-conductor?

Can someone be a closet claustrophobic?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it homeless or naked?

If you ate pasta and antipasta at the same time, would you still be hungry?

How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?

If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why do most countries have only one Monopolies Commission?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made from?

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed Up?

Why are wrong numbers never busy?

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were drowning, and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

How can there be self-help "groups"?

If it only takes one dollar a day to feed a child in Africa, why does it take two dollars a day to lose weight with Jenny Craig?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Are there cemetery workers that don’t work the graveyard shift?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

Is there another word for "synonym"?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

What could porn actors possibly do for fun during their time off?

Why do skydivers wear helmets?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

What's another word for "thesaurus"?

Why do skydivers wear helmets?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of its nose?

Can you imagine a world without hypothetical situations?

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as "Fours"?

Why is it called "after dark," when it is really "after light"?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell "mnemonic"?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why do "tugboats" push?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we’re already there?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest complete sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest?

Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it's much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Can an ambidextrous person make an off-handed remark?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Could it be that boulders are statues of big rocks?

Do bleached blondes pretend to have more fun?

Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Do married people live longer than single people, or does it just seem longer?

Do police sketch artists start out by drawing chalk outlines?

Do Scottish Terriers get Scotch tapeworms?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

How would you throw away a garbage can?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him—is he still wrong?

If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

If a person thinks marathons are superior to sprints, is that racism?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If vampires can’t see their own reflections, how is it that their hair is always so neat?

If convenience stores are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Is animal shampoo tested on humans?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Should a mute be yelled at for talking with their hands full?

Should crematoriums give a discount to burn victims?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

What happens if you get scared ½ to death twice?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called "builts"?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why do we recite at a play and play at a recital?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing nightgowns?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why don't they call moustaches "mouthbrows"?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up a project, I end it?

Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?

Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

What's the speed of dark?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

[Atomis27]

"What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?"

MEEEEEEEEEE!

[FireBball972]

interesting.....

[SeXy_AnGeL]

For some reason I have the attention span of a 3 year old ... but the first 3 are funny

[BP2K2Max]

Originally Posted by SeXy_AnGeL

For some reason I have the attention span of a 3 year old ... but the first 3 are funny

you're only slightly worse than me then. i got to the one about blind people with dark glasses and just started reading the responses.

[Hyatus]

if u choke a smurf what color does it turn lol

[SiGNAL748]

is it just me, or does it say the same things a couple times throughout the whole post?

[YogsVR4]

Originally Posted by SiGNAL748

is it just me, or does it say the same things a couple times throughout the whole post?

Its not just you. Kinda like a repost in a repost



Its good stuff though

[twospirits]

Originally Posted by YogsVR4

Its not just you. Kinda like a repost in a repost

So true.

[SniperX13]

ok, I lasted for like the first 12.......

[tazdev]

how is it that you can cut a tree down then cut it UP?

[96TSi]

off topic here...where did you get the IP sig from Raz? ive been looking for that script for quite some time now

[pikkagtr]

pretty funny stuff man!