Dating Tips....LOL!

[Rich]

Sad, but some of these are actually true.....

DATING TIPS

Your date's salary divided by your own equals the base you should let him get to on the first date.

If you are overweight and socially awkward, consider "online dating."
You can go on a dragonslaying adventure instead of to a movie, play games on Pogo.com instead of dancing, and masturbate instead of having real sex.

Do not bathe for several days prior to a date to get your pheromones good and strong.

Never date a married person, unless he or she is just about to leave his or her spouse and simply waiting for the right moment.

When planning a romantic candlelit dinner, the right music can create the perfect mood. Put on The Best Of Spike Jones to create a freewheeling, anything-goes atmosphere.

Maintain a casual, "Let's just have fun" attitude until the other person starts seeing someone else. Then let the tears and accusations fly.

Remember: There's only one way to console a widow.

To make a lasting impression on a first date, declare yourself his or her eternal soulmate and propose marriage.

Why don't you ask that Julie girl out? She's a lovely girl. You're practically 35, for God's sake. Fine, rip your mother's heart out.

If you are a princess being courted by a low-born but beloved suitor, be sure to elude the watchful eye of the lord high chamberlain.

Instead of going out tonight, punch yourself in the nuts three times and the heart twice. This will save you approximately $75.

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Originally posted by HuMMerMan
Never date a married person, unless he or she is just about to leave his or her spouse and simply waiting for the right moment.

Actually, this is the worst time to do it.

[darkness]

Originally posted by HuMMerMan
Sad, but some of these are actually true.....

DATING TIPS
Instead of going out tonight, punch yourself in the nuts three times and the heart twice. This will save you approximately $75.

LOL so true at times.

[Rich]

Originally posted by darkness


LOL so true at times.

That particular quote has saved me alot of $$

[darkness]

Originally posted by HuMMerMan


That particular quote has saved me alot of $$

Yeah I should probably take that advice:silly2:

[AEstud]

those are some great tips:bandit:

[primera man]

Originally posted by HuMMerMan


Do not bathe for several days prior to a date to get your pheromones good and strong.

LOL....I'm sure that will really please her

[taranaki]

Originally posted by HuMMerMan


Instead of going out tonight, punch yourself in the nuts three times and the heart twice. This will save you approximately $75.

Instead of getting married,draw out all of your savings,throw them off a bridge and go straddle an electric fence naked in the rain whilst slapping your own head with a house brick for a year or so.You will be much happier,and your intended wife will think no less of you for it.

[primera man]

Originally posted by taranaki



Instead of getting married,draw out all of your savings,throw them off a bridge and go straddle an electric fence naked in the rain whilst slapping your own head with a house brick for a year or so.You will be much happier,and your intended wife will think no less of you for it.

The *WISE OLD OWL* speaks again !!!! ...lol

[darkness]

Originally posted by taranaki



Instead of getting married,draw out all of your savings,throw them off a bridge and go straddle an electric fence naked in the rain whilst slapping your own head with a house brick for a year or so.You will be much happier,and your intended wife will think no less of you for it.

Do I sense some bitterness there?

[taranaki]

Originally posted by darkness


Do I sense some bitterness there?

Is the Pope a Catholic?

[SkYLiNeFrEaK]

Originally posted by taranaki


Is the Pope a Catholic?

I used to know this, but since i stopped going to church, I forgot anything relgion related. My life is so much better with out me praising god every god damned day of the week.


Ugh, I hate bible thumpers.


anyways back on topic.

Mr T....STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT.

[darkness]

Originally posted by taranaki


Is the Pope a Catholic?

[taranaki]

Originally posted by SkYLiNeFrEaK


Mr T....STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT.

I didn't...It's an old joke comeback to an obviously rhetorical question.

[Rich]

Originally posted by HuMMerMan


If you are overweight and socially awkward, consider "online dating."
You can go on a dragonslaying adventure instead of to a movie, play games on Pogo.com instead of dancing, and masturbate instead of having real sex.

Maintain a casual, "Let's just have fun" attitude until the other person starts seeing someone else. Then let the tears and accusations fly.

Instead of going out tonight, punch yourself in the nuts three times and the heart twice. This will save you approximately $75.

The sad thing is that I have actually used these 3 before. Well not exactly how they are written, but close enough.

No, I didnt actually punch myself in the nuts.