Extremely Interesting Race

[Frosty60]

I'm new here, but everyone has been complaining about the lack of cool stories, so I'll tell you about a real (real) race I was in.....



I was a little bored with getting to work by automobile, so I bought an
F-22 Raptor from the Navy Surplus store down the street. My friend drives a 1990 Volvo 740 Wagon, but it has three JATO rockets attached to it, so we figured it would be a fair race.

Skipping to the interesting part, I was in six about to shift (my F-22 has a seven speed. No big deal) when he whipped out his secret weapon, a warp drive. I ejected from the cockpit, dove on top of his car, and began eating my way through the sheet metal. Eventually I broke in, but to my suprise, he was really a robot decoy and my real friend was outside running beside the car! (He's an Olympic Sprinter, he can get up to about Mach 3.)

But the REALLY interesting part was when the aliens showed up. We were all terrified of getting anal probed, but i had bet my lunch money on this, so I hijacked the alien PX-386 and shot all of the crew aliens. My friend had taken a slight lead (we were racing on the rings of saturn, so we had a long strip) when I found a magical leprechaun that granted me three wishes. After eating all three slices of cheesecake, I turned to Captain Kirk and told him we were hitting it up to Warp Factor 10. He danced a childish dance as we screamed through hyperspace past the volvo.

lolz i dunno bout cars but i wanna like make it like in fast n furious like a race car you know.......just kidding.

[caleb56]

That is one interesting day. That just happened to me last week also. I hope you recovered from all the excitement.

[TerminalVelocity]

hahashahahaha,

[carrrnuttt]

Sounds more believable than some of the crap that's been popping around here lately...

Nice comedy.

[jeffs_GTP_sleeper]

Will this thread be closed too?

What was wrong with the thread started by the crack dealer who liked to bet heavy on his v6 mustang?

[Tiburon99]

That was funny as fuckin hell yo! Nice job for putting some comedy into this site!

[SiGNAL748]

..and great BS at that!


at least its more entertaining than some of the other bull i've read on this forum lately.

[Igovert500]

goddamn those anal-probing aliens...always equipped with shift knobs and NOS!

[Mediocrity]

Man, I fuckin had you!

I missed my shift from 8th to 9th in the volvo... and 10th gear grinded like shit

[tha_new_guy]

Hahahahahaha!





Your fucking crazy, man. In a good way, though.

[rdollie]

Neat - very credible and almost 100% believable except of course we all know the F-22 is an Air Force plane and not a Navy plane. I think the Navy and every other service including the Boy Scouts will be getting the JSF.

Originally Posted by Frosty60

I'm new here, but everyone has been complaining about the lack of cool stories, so I'll tell you about a real (real) race I was in.....



I was a little bored with getting to work by automobile, so I bought an
F-22 Raptor from the Navy Surplus store down the street. My friend drives a 1990 Volvo 740 Wagon, but it has three JATO rockets attached to it, so we figured it would be a fair race.

Skipping to the interesting part, I was in six about to shift (my F-22 has a seven speed. No big deal) when he whipped out his secret weapon, a warp drive. I ejected from the cockpit, dove on top of his car, and began eating my way through the sheet metal. Eventually I broke in, but to my suprise, he was really a robot decoy and my real friend was outside running beside the car! (He's an Olympic Sprinter, he can get up to about Mach 3.)

But the REALLY interesting part was when the aliens showed up. We were all terrified of getting anal probed, but i had bet my lunch money on this, so I hijacked the alien PX-386 and shot all of the crew aliens. My friend had taken a slight lead (we were racing on the rings of saturn, so we had a long strip) when I found a magical leprechaun that granted me three wishes. After eating all three slices of cheesecake, I turned to Captain Kirk and told him we were hitting it up to Warp Factor 10. He danced a childish dance as we screamed through hyperspace past the volvo.

lolz i dunno bout cars but i wanna like make it like in fast n furious like a race car you know.......just kidding.