|
| Search | Car Forums | Gallery | Articles | Helper | Air Dried Fresh Beef Dog Food | IgorSushko.com | Corporate |
|
|||||||
| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
 |
 Show Printable Version | 
Subscribe to this Thread
|
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
#1
12-20-2001, 12:42 PM
|
||||
|
||||
College Entrance Essay
This is supposedly true, but I cannot confirm nor am I going to confirm it. It is, however, very funny if it happened.
This is an actual essay written by a college applicant to NYU. The author was accepted and is now attending NYU. 3A. IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college.
__________________
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have? 
|
|
#2
12-20-2001, 12:57 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
No wonder they let him in to NYU, that guy is really talented...
__________________
2002 SVT Lightning - Pullied & tuned...391 rwhp / 498 rwtq 8.47 @ 83.43...1.99 60' on Goodyear F1's. 1991 LX - 8.36 @ 83.13...1.82 60' Shooting for 8.10's or better w/ stock heads, a shit cam and a factory production intake.  
|
|
#3
12-20-2001, 03:05 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I can tell you right now that any college Admission counselor would be a fool not to admit this person. That's one of the most creative pieces of writing I have ever read. Note to all: It's okay to be daring on college essays, but very few can pull it off as well as the anonymous author above.
__________________
"Nothing great was ever acheived without enthusiasm." Interpret as you like. AIM: RbeccaBrown Taranaki: "roses are wonderful plants,but they do attract parasites...and the harder you cut them back,the stronger they return.They smell sweet,their faces are soft and pretty,and they can defend themselves with sharp thorns where neccesary....but left untended,and without support,a simple gust of wind can leave them shattered....but not forever....the roots of the rose are strong,cut the wood back,and it will always bloom again." |
|
#5
12-20-2001, 03:14 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
 Just jealous I suppose that you lack the creativity of the author? Hmm...I suppose that your lot in life has you jealous of a lot. And so, we at AF suffer your half-ass attempts to sound smart and superior to those around you. It's okay Towlie, I'm here for you...let it out, let it aaalllll out. :right:
__________________
"Nothing great was ever acheived without enthusiasm." Interpret as you like. AIM: RbeccaBrown Taranaki: "roses are wonderful plants,but they do attract parasites...and the harder you cut them back,the stronger they return.They smell sweet,their faces are soft and pretty,and they can defend themselves with sharp thorns where neccesary....but left untended,and without support,a simple gust of wind can leave them shattered....but not forever....the roots of the rose are strong,cut the wood back,and it will always bloom again." |
|
#7
12-20-2001, 04:19 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
so I suppose that means you've never had a girlfriend cuz you like boys? 
|
|
#8
12-20-2001, 06:25 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
  No...I haven't.
__________________
"Nothing great was ever acheived without enthusiasm." Interpret as you like. AIM: RbeccaBrown Taranaki: "roses are wonderful plants,but they do attract parasites...and the harder you cut them back,the stronger they return.They smell sweet,their faces are soft and pretty,and they can defend themselves with sharp thorns where neccesary....but left untended,and without support,a simple gust of wind can leave them shattered....but not forever....the roots of the rose are strong,cut the wood back,and it will always bloom again." |
|
#10
12-20-2001, 09:49 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Back from the dead. 
|
|
#12
12-20-2001, 10:59 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Ill second that. Towlie and Dante I dont care what little private joke your pulling but please cut it out!  Your ruining the Docs thread and upsetting other members. 
__________________
Connecting the Auto Enthusiasts
|
|
#15
12-21-2001, 12:13 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
I'm CONFUSED.... Moppie, make them stop confusing me!
|
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
POST REPLY TO THIS THREAD |
 |
|
|
