Just My Luck...

[Suislide]

so just recently, i gave up on the girl that i've been "after" for a couple of months now. after a vicious night of drinking, she proceeded to *ahem* "fool around" with another guy on the couch that i was also sleeping on, despite the fact that she had been told by me and by others about how i felt about her...but i'm over that now, that's not the focus of this rant. i just thought i'd mention it.

so, after totally removing her from my focus (even broke off my friendship with her because of how she treated me), i met this fantastic girl in one of my classes. we started talking by chance, a bit at first. then eventually, she moved desks so she could be close to me and talk. we have everything in common, music, sports, cars, everything. we hung out every day between classes, flirted like no other, talked on the phone etc. so the other day, i'm standing around with her and one of her friends comes up. they start talking about something that i have no idea about, so i tune out. all of a sudden, when i tune back in, i hear the guy jokingly say "i wish you didn't have a boyfriend". i stood there in shock for a second, then walked away out to my car and sat with my head in my hands for about 10 minutes. after talking and flirting like mad with her for 2 weeks, this was the first i'd heard of a boyfriend.

i log into MSN that night, and lo and behold, she's online. i obviousley felt like a sack of shit because of what happened, and somehow she was able to tell. so, after much prodding on her part, she convinced me to tell her what was up. i confessed all my feelings to her, and told her about what had happened that day, that i had never heard anything about this guy before-hand, and asked her if it was actually her boyfriend, because by the way she acted around me, she seemed EXTREMELY single. she said yes, he was her boyfriend, and had been since August. i let that sink in for a second before then asking her "if you have a boyfriend, why do you act like you do around me?" i was fully expecting her to say something along the lines of "i guess i'm just flirty" or "oh we're just good friends, it meant nothing".

but instead, her answer literally made me get up out of my chair and walk around the room a couple of times.

"i have been dating *blank* since august which is before i even really knew you. then i met you. and my world caved in. these past few weeks have been hell for me because i realized that i was developing feelings for you while i am dating another person and i dont know how to deal with it"

there was her answer. she likes me, even though she's been dating some other guy for 3 months now.

in 2 weeks of knowing me, she's managed to develop enough feelings for me to not know what to do. she told me she sits up at night and one second will be pondering breaking up with her boyfriend to come to me, and the next second will be pondering cutting off all contact with me to eliminate temptation. she has cried over this because she is so confused.

and then there's me. what the hell do i do? here's this fantastic girl of my dreams who likes me, and i can't do a damn thing about it.

this conversation was last night. today at school, it was as if it had never happened. the same thing as always, we got to class, flirted like crazy, went out to lunch together, and i even gave her a ride home. she said she loves the time she spends with me and doesn't want to give it up for anything...but she also doesn't want to break up with her boyfriend.


i don't know if i'm posting this for guidance or just to get it off my chest...but either way, here it is. she doesn't know what the fuck to do, i don't know what the fuck to do, and every day is just pain for pleasure. i get immense pleasure from hanging out with her, it is the high point of my day. but getting home at night and realizing that, even though she likes me and we flirt all day long, there's nothing i can do about it...it almost tears me apart inside. it's so goddamn frustrating.

what the fuck do i do...

[jon@af]

Brian, if I had any good advice, Id give it, but this is all I can think of; if you look to hard you'll miss what you need to do, so dont be like you you you have to find the answer. If this is meant to work out, you'll both come to a mutual understanding at some point, and all things will be settled. No one's to say in which manner (good or bad) this will turn out for you, but Im sure that it will eventually end up one way or the other. Good luck man.

[Oz]

At least this one is a no brainer. What you do is exactly what you have been doing. Be a good friend, be completely honest with who and what you are and eventually she will choose. DO NOT force the issue. DO NOT back her into a corner. DO NOT try to know/meet the BF. If she chooses you, awesome. If she continues to go out with her BF, remind her that at this stage your just friends - and obviously very good friends and you'd love for it to stay that way.

[jon@af]

Originally Posted by Oz

At least this one is a no brainer. What you do is exactly what you have been doing. Be a good friend, be completely honest with who and what you are and eventually she will choose. DO NOT force the issue. DO NOT back her into a corner. DO NOT try to know/meet the BF. If she chooses you, awesome. If she continues to go out with her BF, remind her that at this stage your just friends - and obviously very good friends and you'd love for it to stay that way.

hmmm.... you know what, that sounds a lot better than what I said. Disregard my previous statements

[GTStang]

I don't know if I'm as well qualified to answer this but I know have been in this situation before. I think your saying it kills you not be with her but you have such a good time with her it's hard to stay away from her. I got to be honest and I think some people will disagree with me, I think you need to just get away from her... like run the fuck away!!!!

I think your just going to make yourself miserable in the end. Yes if you can be friends with her that would be awesome and the best solution but sometimes you just feel a way about some1 that just makes that impossible. I don't think she is going to leave her bf man, give it a little time and see but I bet that whole time while things are up in the air will just eat at you. And if she does stay with him after leaving things up in the air it's bad too. Sadly sometimes all you can do is just walk away from a bad situation.

Either way good luck and try not to let it get to. Every1 has had shitty situations like this.

[Steel]

Oh man.. no offense... but i think that b/f is going to get hurt something quick becasue of this. And it sucks for him, cause i know the pain... but you gotta let women be women. If she "developed feelings" for you in the past few weeks while she's been with her b/f, then don't be suprised if it happens to you.

Just a word of warning.

[Toksin]

I've experienced situations like this from the boyfriend's POV and I've lost. But anyway, I've already pretty much said what I wanted to say to you on MSN already. Ball's in her court bro, just keep doin' what you're doin. She chooses you, sweet; she doesn't, her loss.

[Suislide]

yeah. i told her that the ball is in her court. it's her decision.

at this point, i'm just doing what i've been doing the whole time. i offered to her to stop flirting or "turn it down a notch" or even stop talking to her altogether, so that she wouldn't be tempted and the feelings might fade, but she doesn't want me to do that. she said she DEFINITLEY doesn't want to stop talking to me, and she says times with me wouldn't be the same unless i'm acting the same way i always have around her. she doesn't want to stop hanging out with me, and the day after i wrote this, it was as if nothing had happened. we flirted like mad, as usual, went out to lunch, as usual etc. she said at this point, she still has no idea what to do so i'm trying not to mention it so as not to pressure her. i'm definitley letting her make all the decisions, not pressuring at all. she said something to me yesterday that sort of put it in perspective:

"every day, there's a chance you could find a girl even better then me, but also, every day there's a chance that me and my boyfriend could break up and we could get together..."

right now, i don't have any other women that specifically interest me...maybe one, but that's it. for a while, i'm just going to see what happens, see if she makes a decision or if something happens...i don't want to be someone to break up a relationship. that would make me feel like shit. but on the other hand, i'd be happier then words can describe if she chooses me. it's all up to her, and for now, i'm just going to see what happens. if she decides to stay with him, or if things just start to fade, then i'll open up my options, but believe me boys, this is the woman of my dreams. if i have to wait, she's worth it, in my mind.

and Steel - don't think i have to worry about it happening...she said she's not the dating type. she's only ever had 2 boyfriends, including the current one. she said it takes a really great guy who has alot in common with her and does all the right things, for her to go out with him...so i dunno. still a chance of it i guess, but i would doubt it...

[onetoolfan]

C'mon dude, I felt for ya! Whatever happened? Did ya get her? Any news at all? Good job if you did, sorry if you didn't.

[zebrathree]

Way to bring up a dead thread Fred.

[onetoolfan]

I assume youll forgive me since I've been in beautiful Iraq for the past two and half months and just got back three days ago and wanted to check up on a thread I'd seen just before I left.

[Toksin]

Could have been done in a PM..

This is an old ass thread...my first padlock

[Suislide]

congrats on your first kill Dave.

while it's bad policy to post in a thread after it's been closed, i thought i should provide some closure (no pun intended) for those of you who were following this thread.

not much changed after my last post in this thread. we kept flirting all the same, tried to have heart to heart talks about what to do, poured all our feelings out to each other...and it still didn't really get us anywhere. the one day, we came to my house on lunch and talked for an hour and a half about it...and were still in the exact same place as when we began.

but, while all this was happening, i met another girl. she was just as perfect as the first, but in her own special and unique ways. this second girl is now my girlfriend, and has been for a month and a half now. the first girl (we'll call her L) and i had a short rough spell after that where we didn't talk for a while. L found out about C (my girlfriend) by seeing us together in the hall, holding hands. she found out that way before i could explain it to her in person, so she got sort of hurt by it. we didn't talk for a couple of days, as it was awkward, but we got over that and L and i are now good friends again. in fact, i wouldn't hesitate to say she flirts with me still...but she's still with her boyfriend, and i'm with my girlfriend, so now there's REALLY no meaning to it.

so there's a happy ending if i've ever heard one. maybe not the outcome that i originally wanted when i first started this thread, but i'm still happier then ever with my girlfriend, and also very glad that L is still my friend through it all.

thanks for keeping up interest in the thread, and, since the thread's gonna stay closed, if anyone has anything else to say, shoot me a PM and we'll chat.