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#1
10-21-2003, 10:44 PM
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Racing in Slow Motion.
Ok, so here I am firing up my truck after a day on the road in the company Van. Enjoying the rough idle of a cold carbureted V8... no thats not a performance rough idle, the motor is just cold as piss and doesn't want to run.
I pull the column shifter down into reverse while the motor is still cold. Truck stalls... pff dumb truck. I'm a racer, i've no time for warming up. Start the mighty anemic 350 up again. Pull out of my parking space, start the trek home. I'd been on the freeway for the last 3 hours stuck in traffic and I really didn't to spend another 15 minutes taking surface streets home being stuck in traffic. So I hoped on the freeway which would drop me off next to my house... Little did I know... That I would be envolved in the greatest highway battle ever thought of. Yeah, you heard me... greatest ever. As I'm on the 710 North about to jump on the 405 South for my 6 mile jaunt which will drop me off about a 1/4 mile from my house. I'm cruising along, merge over to my exit onto the 405 South... I slow for the turn, normally I wouldn't slow cause my truck can handle .53 G's of lateral acceleration. Yeah, Z06's fear me... Suck it Bitch! Anywho, I had to slow down cause of traffic. As I'm merging I look out on to the moving traffic of the 405, I notice a four door Honda Accord of early 90's vintage with a bodykit and high performance dual exhaust. He down shifted to get around a slow moving Ford Ranger and he floored it. The speed at which he accelerated was... stunning... he didn't pass the ranger at all, just made lots of noise with his car. I knew his intentions weren't to pass the Ranger, of course not. His car could of done that with ease... I think. His intentions were to call out to all near by racers that he was there and that he was good to go for a game of Tokyo style battling. I answered his challenge by merging next to him. He saw me merge next to him, he looked up at me. I looked down at him. We both knew it was on, by the looks and sound of it he downshifted to 3rd gear. I plainly shifted out of Overdrive, and gunned it the mighty anemic 140hp 350 groaned to life! He followed in close pursuit... the speedometer began to turn at a blinding rate... 43mph... 44mph.......... 44mph....... 45mph. Sweat began to form on my palms... This was going to be a close race and I needed to pump myself up so turned my Led Zepplin up on the CD player and was ready anything! He shifted up into 4th, I shifted back into Overdrive for superior top end pull. He sat back at my rear quarter panel, his dual exhaust made my ears bleed... the sheer loudness of it told me this guy was a pro racer. His spikey hair and wife beater shirt told me he wasn't one to mess with off the race track either... We slowly pass 55mph... I clench the wheel with my hands as the Speedo nears 60mph.... 62mph... I start to breath heavy as I surpass 65mph. That's when I knew this guy was serious. I thought he'd of given up by now... honestly, at this point weren't just keeping up with traffic... we were slowly passing it! He finally shifts up into 5th gear, but wait! He missed his shift slightly! That gave me the edge I needed to pull ahead. The gap between us slowly stretches to one car length. I look back down at my speedo and I've blown past 70mph. My 5200lb truck barreling down the freeway I sinch down on my factory racing shoulder/lap belt. We start to climb a slight hill, my superior torque carries me up the hill with ease... My opponent falling farther back. I call the race by hitting the brakes and slowing back down to a sane level and resume my cruising. He blows past me flipping me off and races off into traffic. I exit the freeway feeling good... glad to be home. I thank Mr. Racer for the fun. He raced with honor... well not really. He did flip me off. But that's ok, I did after all have the superior vehicle for racing. Yeah, I'm a loser.   
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2003 Chevy 1500HD - Hauler 1971 Chevy Camaro RS - Track Car User Guidelines It's important to read, like the Bible. But unlike the Bible we will strike you down if you jerk off around here. 
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#2
10-21-2003, 10:48 PM
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getting home that fast must have allowed for the time to write this
 haha nice write matt
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......or if your a loser who drives a Civic with a type R sticker, racing stripes, blasting really bad rap music through your suburban area with your pretentious "I’m 21 but I’m still in high school girlfriend" while driving with your hand up on the top of the steering wheel exposing your underdeveloped pasty white vitamin deficient arm and wearing your backwards BS upside down visor hat while feeling the tacky as a "Florida vacation" single diamond earring in your ear, If you are this person...with any luck the sun in its precise celestial positioning as you putter on by...will reflect its scorching rays into your earring, bouncing intensely in your rearview, and finally making contact with your eyes through the thin cheap lense of $5 gas station Oakley rip off glasses.. then burning your retnal cones into smoldering melting gobs of ocular material as you are blinded by the purest form of energy in our known universe, and as you scream no one can help or hear you because they don’t know what’s going on since the weed whacker sound of your shitty tiny little muffler which makes the Civic sound like a 747 rages on underneath making everyone turn at disgust and comment to thier husbands or wives how much of a dickweed you are by attaching that automotive abnormality to your stock economical daily driver engineered by Japanese Automotive specialists to fit the needs for entry level business workers in their early 30's, however your pathetic looking $11,000 car which you want to look like a friggin spaceship with redundant ground effects is now out of control since you are blinded, and as your car plunges off the side of a cliff while you scream in the purest form of terror while knowing you have lived a horrid excuse for a life, by doing the bare minimum in every facet of existence, while getting fired from one pathetic job to another, the majority of your time spent slacking smoking dope, getting kicked out of school, polishing your "game" on sweet innocent underage girls you eventually 'de flower' through exhaustive yet succesful attempts to get the date rapist drugs you have stashed in the glove compartment, into your poor victims drinks while offering them to take the "Pepsi Challenge" while making your mother hate you, and your poor father who wishes he had a daughter instead of your pathetic ass, since a girl would be more of a man than you ever were, like the occasion when you were hit in the arm by a wild pitch in little league, then you cried like a fat kid who dropped his ice cream cone, I'm already envisioning you impacting the rocks below, in a spectacular fireball ignited from the residue hairspray from your girlfriend plastered in the fabric passenger seat, blinded by your earring, deafened by the loud "Bling Blingin", and I will smile and roll around on the ground in orgasmic delight while you are consumed by flames whose intense heat and fury will liquefy your bone marrow that I will use to make jelly beans out of and eat them happily at your funeral as midgets dressed like Alex 6005321 from "A Clockwork Orange" dance around your coffin to loud industrial style techno music and strobe lights, and I will sleep soundly at night knowing another successful conquest of Darwinism has been attained.
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#3
10-21-2003, 10:49 PM
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i wish i had races like that. where i can race and still not get pulled over cause your still really only goin with the flow of traffic. lolz
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303whp stock internal KA-T 94 Acura NSX  Best E.T. 13.559 Best Trap speed 107.62 mph
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#5
10-22-2003, 12:10 AM
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 Awesome...manslaughter?  Reminds me of that race I saw with the V6 Mustang, Accord, and box-truck...LOL.
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2002_Nissan_Maxima_6-speed
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#6
10-22-2003, 01:15 AM
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Re: Re: Racing in Slow Motion.
Quote:
Yes, I'd love to thank my Sponsors... Chevrolet built a good truck back in '86... thats why i've never upgraded to a newer chassis. Go Blazer power! JVC for their awesome support with my audio equipment. Led Zepplin for their support. Yokohama for making a great tire... Can't go wrong with 33" mud terrains. Woooot.. mullet power.
__________________
2003 Chevy 1500HD - Hauler 1971 Chevy Camaro RS - Track Car User Guidelines It's important to read, like the Bible. But unlike the Bible we will strike you down if you jerk off around here.
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#7
10-22-2003, 02:34 AM
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Well redneck gets another "A" for his storytelling skillz!!!! Now if he only had a good story to tell.....
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R.I.P. Hypsi- Andy your one of the best people I ever had the priviledge to know. AF and the world has lost one of the truly wonderful people... 
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#8
10-22-2003, 03:14 AM
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Re: Racing in Slow Motion.
Quote:
I know! 
__________________
2003 Chevy 1500HD - Hauler 1971 Chevy Camaro RS - Track Car User Guidelines It's important to read, like the Bible. But unlike the Bible we will strike you down if you jerk off around here.
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#9
10-22-2003, 08:09 AM
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redneck, did you say that 350 only had 140 HP?! i thought they had alot more than that? or was that joke?
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305 coming soon........  ............................. .
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#10
10-22-2003, 09:36 AM
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those 350's are dogs. they put such a small carburators on those trucks. they made decent torque but they had no power. just cuase its a big motor doens't mean it has to make alot of power.
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303whp stock internal KA-T 94 Acura NSX Best E.T. 13.559 Best Trap speed 107.62 mph
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#11
10-22-2003, 12:05 PM
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Re: Racing in Slow Motion.
Quote:
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[size=1]-1950 Ford Custom, flathead V8
-2013 Ford Flex -1999 Ford F150
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#13
10-22-2003, 03:13 PM
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matt....I do believe...that you are ready to hunt...
THE GTR CELICA! *drums and lightning in the background* just beware of his upgraded rocket pods on his 2ft tall wing!  
__________________
 My new RHD project! Solid Crew (Circa 2002)
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#15
10-22-2003, 05:42 PM
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man, i always do that, but my dad with me. i was bothering a 350Z tho, AH HA!! i won him at around 85 mph, then he zoomed past me at like 100 mph, wich was pretty cool. i was in my dad's 92 Accord, so, it almost died, and good thing it didnt.
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"i told you it was third, I lengthen the injector pulse another millisec and tuned the NOS timer, and you'll run nines" --2OF9-- (DSM team specialist) ;D #808/1000
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