More Darwin Awards

[TheNotoriousMogg]

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this
> year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards this
> year are, once again, truly classic.
>
> These awards are given each year to bestow upon(the
> remains of) that individual, who through single-minded
> self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable
> elements from the human gene pool. Just think... until
> these events, these same people were
> walking the streets like normal people.
>
> 5th RUNNER-UP:
>
>
>
> Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he
> hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while
> riding down the slope on a foam pad. The 22-year old
> David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth
> Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono
> County Sheriff's department said. Hubal and his friends
> apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump alley
> and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers,
> said Lt. Mike
> Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The
> pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers.
> The group apparently used the pads to slide down the
> ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since
> been investigated and determined the tower he hit was
> the one with its pad removed.
>
>
> 4th RUNNER-UP:
>
>
>
> Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being
> disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk
> threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog,
> shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying.
> Police found him unconscious in front of the store.
> Paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat
> where it had choked him to death.
>
>
> 3rd RUNNER-UP:
>
>
>
> Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a
> stag standing above him on a n overhanging rock and was
> killed instantly when it fell on him.
>
>
> 2nd RUNNER-UP:
>
> "Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia
> party (probably related to the winner last year, a man
> in Arkansas who used the .22 bullet to replace the fuse
> in his pickup truck) popped a blasting cap into his
> mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew
> off hi lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of
> Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the
> party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne.
> "Another man
> had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was
> trying to explode it." "It wouldn't go off and this guy
> said I'll show you how to set it off." He put it into
> his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and
> his lips and tongue off, Payne said.
> Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with
> extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson
> at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't
> imagine anyone doing something like that," Payne said.
>
>
> 1st RUNNER-UP:
>
> Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon
> man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky
> to be alive and will be released soon from the
> hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost
> his right eye last weekend during an initiation into a
> men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous
>
> (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous)
> in Grants Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to shoot a beer
> can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right
> eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter
> to the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut
> and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon
> Doctor Johnny
> Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said
> the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the
> tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow
> managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also
> said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on
> his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts
> admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been
> drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, I feel so dumb
> about this." No charges have been filed, but the
> Josephine County district attorney's office said the
> initiation stunt is under investigation.
>
> Now, THIS YEAR'S WINNER:
>
> (The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal
> Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to
> attend a local Metallica concert at the George
> Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having
> had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be
> easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into
> the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to the
> fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100
> pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence and
> then assist his friend over. Unfortunate for (the late)
> Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other
> side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found
> himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly
> halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large
> branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from
> the tree with a broken arm, he looked
> down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring
> the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket
> knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free
> himself from the tree.
> Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes.
> The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now,
> without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch
> penetrated his rectum. To make
> matters worse, on landing his pocket knife penetrated
> his thigh. Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable
> pain and agony, threw him a rope and tried to pull him
> to safety by tying the rope to
> the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in
> his drunken haste/state, he put the truck into reverse
> and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and
> killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pickup
> with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead
> at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon
> moving the truck, they found John under it half-naked,
> scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a
> knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree
> branch 25 feet in the air.
>
> Congratulations gentlemen, you win...

[YogsVR4]

I think this set is older then the last ones posted on here.

[TheNotoriousMogg]

Originally Posted by YogsVR4

I think this set is older then the last ones posted on here.

:

[YogsVR4]

Originally Posted by TheNotoriousMogg

:

Sometimes the depth of your wit astounds me

[freakray]

Mogg, you've exceeded my expectations, you've posted a repost of a repost

[TheNotoriousMogg]

Originally Posted by freakray

Mogg, you've exceeded my expectations, you've posted a repost of a repost

[sugarcaddy]

I thought I had read that somewhere before, twice!

Scott

[Carguy393]

Those are just nasty either way

[stubacca]

I'm sure I've seen these before over the last few years, but....

To qualify for a Darwin award, isn't the person supposed to improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it?

2nd and 1st runner ups are still alive, and still seem to have full nut function. What gives?