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#1
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how do you deal with an ex and her new boyfriend?
my girlfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me about 1 month ago, and i just saw her today and she told me she is seeing someone new, and has been for awhile now. just the thought of someone else with my girlfriend (even though she's not, but i want her to be) makes me crazy and i just don't know what to do. no revenge like doing her roommate or anything, but there has to be something i can do to clear my head. i want her back and when she broke up with me she said maybe someday, but it's not likely. i just don't know what to do and i feel like it's killing me. anytime i am not around people i just get so upset i can barely move or breathe, and i just don't feel like moving or doing anything, even getting up in the morning, and everytime i am with people i just talk about her and wonder what she's doing, etc, until i drive them crazy. we were just really close and for so long, i am just falling apart without her. i am 23 and had been thinking about asking her to marry me, and she just said she needed a break, etc. i know probably everyone has been through this, so any info on how you deal with it would be great. thanks
t.c.
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'72 AZ600 Coupe '86 Accord Lx-i (currently 210,000 miles) '90 CRX Si '93 del Sol Si '95 Accord EX (all show) '03 Civic EX (45,000+ miles) |
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#2
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Re: how do you deal with an ex and her new boyfriend?
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Well, as harsh as it may sound for me to say... you need to do like she is and move on with your life. I understand you would like to be with her, but do you really want to be with someone who at one point decided she would ditch you and say "maybe someday" ? Four years is a quite a while for a relationship, and if she broke up with you, that should tell you that maybe it wasnt meant to be. Might I ask if this was your first long term relationship? If it was I can understand how you might feel the way you do. Basically man, just play the field a little bit, show her that you dont need her.l
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AF User Guidelines <----Click and read if you don't know these. "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." A Blog By Swigz Cotidie damnatur qui semper timet; Aquila non captat muscas. |
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#3
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I know how you feel man
It just gonna take time. Dont try to kid youself into thinking she'll come running back, nor should you try to impress her or anything like that. Just stay away from her and find something else to put your time into.
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#4
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What the dude above said. Fuck It, Drive On.
Or root ya new GF on her front lawn. Whatever makes you feel better. |
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#5
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what i've done in this situation is just STAYED THE FUCK AWAY! my ex and her new *ahem* asswipe have been going out for 10 months as of yesterday, and i haven't even met the bastard yet. we've had a few chats over AIM where he's threatened me with my life for absolutely no reason other then the fact that i'm her ex (hence me refering to him as an asswipe) but i never plan to meet him in person. me and her have stayed...well...RELATIVLEY good friends since she dumped me...we've had our spits and spats, but that's just natural. the point is, i still talk to her and see her occasionally, but i make a point not to ever come into contact with the new guy. a) i just don't want to meet him, and b) i think a fist-fight would break out after a few seconds.
the best idear is to move on. yeah, you'll always be hurt for a little while. i was too. but get over it ASAP and go out and START FISHING again. there's plenty more where she came from. good luck.
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-Brian 2013 Subaru BRZ Sport-Tech 6MT. Not stock. |
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#6
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man that sux as S13 said just look for someone new or don't bother with girls for a while just chill for a bit after somthing hard like that you might want to be single for a bit.
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#7
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Been there dude, just hang out with your friends and keep busy. Before you know it she'll be a distant memory.
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#8
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As another member of the "been there, done that" crowd, I will also say "Stay away from her". Its not easy to get over someone like that (I was 24 when it happened to me) but time does help and driving yourself nuts worrying about her will is a waste of your time.
Pick up a hobby to help refocus your mind. Join a gym, work a few extra hours, sign up for basketball, baseball or whatever sport you like. You have to focus your energy someplace else. Eventually you’ll realize that your just wasting time worrying about something that you can’t have or control.
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Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) |
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#9
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1) Be glad you found out now, BEFORE you married her. It could have been a LOT worse.
2) Yogs is right. Go to the gym, take out your frustrations on the weight pile. Buff yourself up, and then... 3) Start dating all her friends. You might even give her a call, and ask about [Insert best friends name here]. Even if it kills you: Show her how happy you still are, and how you've put it behind you, and are playing the field and HAVING FUN! That will just toast her royally.... BTDT |
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#10
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Welp it does suck to be in that situation but the truth is your do have to move on. Same thing happond to me a 2 years ago. And on our 3rd year anniversary too. She broke up with me. i wasent sad or anything i was alil bitter actruly. SO i started doing my own shit 4 months later she comes begging to come back. I'm like revenge time, only problem is i realy was in Love with her and guess what couple of months later she broke up with me again and thats when it realy HIT me hard. Worrying about her is not gona make it ez'er at all. Worst part is she got with this FWKER like 2 weeks later. And everything just went down hill from there for me. Even ignoring her would be hard to do. I was extreemly depress for almost an entire year. But partying with friends helped alot. Then i met some other girls and finnaly a new GF. My ex still calls me sobbing when her new buttmunch BF is being an extrem asshole.
So just move on learn from this instead of regreting it. Best advice i can give you...
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"Fear is the path to the Dark Side..., Fear leads to Anger, Anger leads to Hate, Hate leads to Suffering…" -Yoda |
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#11
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Can't really add on to what everyone else has already said. But I do agree its just better to move on. If it wasn't for my car, PS2 and Bacardi I'd be pretty lonely my self.
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#12
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what i did, was turned to drugs.... i would get so fucked up that i couldn't think about her, and then i was fine... i started gettin fucked up way too much until I OD'd and still after that, i didn't stop...but i slowed down... now i'm done with that shit.. everytime i think about her it hurts, but eventually it gradually gets better and better.... so now, i don't really care about her anymore, actually kind of hate her now...
i am still lonely and on occassion feel depressed.... sorry if i didn't cheer you up...hope i somehow helped.. DON'T DO DRUGS!!!
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#13
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Re: how do you deal with an ex and her new boyfriend?
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Indeed. Drugs=
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AF User Guidelines <----Click and read if you don't know these. "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." A Blog By Swigz Cotidie damnatur qui semper timet; Aquila non captat muscas. |
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#14
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My HS sweetheart Divorced me after 6 years together, and I mean Together, we didn't do anything without each other. That may have been the problem. Anyway, I felt totally numb at first, total disbelief at what was happening, then I left for the weekend and came back to our house and all her shit was gone and half of the agreed upon furniture, that I vaguely remember talking to her about in the division of assets form we filled out. That was when it hit home. I felt much the way everyone else here has said, no appetite, no motivation ect. ect. I had been out of the game so long I didn't have a clue how to pickup a girl these days, back in highschool I knew a lot of girls but they moved away or got married. After a month of laying around at the house and barley scraping by at work I finally got to where I could hang out with friends again but it didn't make me feel any better, I started to drink a lot, got behind on bills, wrecked my truck. After I wrecked my truck I decided that life was to short to go around feeling sorry for my self and to start getting on with it. I joined a gym, met a lot of ppl, and women there
Didn't get real buff but the thing was I was meeting new ppl and finally noticed that I just needed to get away from the things and ppl that reminded me of the times my wife and I were together. It took me about a year to get over the worst of it because I made it harder, by trying to get her back. Its now 4 years later and I have a new women and things couldn't be better. Hang in there you'll be alright. |
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#15
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no, dont go no gym
dont be alone, go out with friends as much as you can, partying, whatever, but when you are alone, thats when you really start thinking and thinking and it gets to you, and it hurts. thats why you have to INVITE some friends, boys and girls, TALK about it with your friends, eventually you will get over her, it is not easy. try to have things to look foreward too, buy a new car, get a 240Z, fix it up, see what u can do with it, the excitement takes over, u have something to look foreward to. go out with friends, and dont drink by yourself, you will get SUPER DEPRESSED trust me, at this moment you will feel like there is nothing left in life no more. later you will move on, try dating other girls, having one-nighters helps, another thing that helps is friend-girls, which u can really talk to....i dunno why girls just leave like that though....girls are weird and sometimes u jus wanan FUCK UP the NEW BF knowing hes fuckin ur old one, thats when u gotta start fuckin some new bitches i tell ya, cuz that shits FUCKED UP, and it GETS TO YOU, especially if you are ALONE! go out STEALTH-250SX
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