Metro vs. Festiva story...LMAO

[blacksnake98]

I copied this from another forum, but thought it would be fun to share.

borrowed my wife's Geo Metro last night. One liter of raw power, three cylinders of asphalt-tearing terror on thirteen-inch rims.
It's stock, alright, nothing done to it, but it
pushes the barely 2000 pounds of Metro around
with AUTHORITY. I'm always catching mopeds and
18-wheelers by surprise. I was headed back from
Baskin Robbins with my manly triple-latte
cappuccino blast ("No Cinnamon, ma'am, I take it
BLACK"), when I stopped at a streetlight. As the
Metro throbbed its throaty idle around me, I
sipped my bold beverage and wiped the white froth
off my stiff upper lip. I was minding my own
business, but then I heard a rev from the next
lane. I turned, made eye contact, then let my
eyes trace over the competition. Ford Festiva- a
late model, could be trouble. Low profile tires,
curb feelers, and schoolbus-yellow paint. Yep, a
hot rod, for sure. The howl of his motor snapped
my reverie, and I looked back into the driver's
eyes, nodded, then blipped my own throttle. As I
tugged on my driving gloves and slipped on my
sunglasses (gotta look cool to be fast, and I am
*damn* cool, hence...), the night was split with
the sound of seven screaming cylinders. Then the
light turned... I almost had him out of the hole,
my three pounding cylinders thrusting me at least
a millimeter back into my seat, smoke pouring from
my front right tire... but my unlimited slip differential was letting me down! I saw in the
corner of my eye, a yellow snout gaining, and I
heard the roar of his four cylinders. He slung by
me, right front wheel juddering against the pavement, and he flashed me a smile as his .7
extra liters of motor stretched its legs. I kept
my foot gamely in it, though, waiting for the
CHECK ENGINE light to blink on in the one-gauge
(no tachometer here!) instrument panel. I saw a
glimpse of chrome under his bumper, and knew the
ugly truth... He was running a custom exhaust-
probably a 2-into-1 dual exhaust...maybe even
cutouts! Damn his hot-rod soul! The old lady
passing us on the crosswalk cast a dirty look in
our boy-racer direction. Yet still I persisted,
with my three pumping pistons singing a heady
high-pitched song, wound fully out. Though only a
few handfuls of seconds had passed, we were
nearing the crosswalk at the other side of the
intersection, and I heard the note of his engine
change as he made his shift to second, and I saw
his grin in his rearview mirror fade as he missed
the shift! I rocketed by, shifting, and nursed the
clutch gently in to keep from bogging, keeping
my motor spinning hot and pulling me ahead, now
trailing a cloud of stinking clutch smoke. Not
ready to give up so easily, he left his foot in
it, revving, and I heard one wheel *almost*
chirp as he finally found second and dropped the
clutch. We careened over the crosswalk, now going
at least 15 miles per hour. A bicyclist passed us,
but intent on the race as we were, neither of us
batted an eye. He pulled slowly abreast of me, and
neck and neck, we made the shift to third, the
scream of motors deafening all pedestrians within
a five foot circle. He nosed ahead as we passed 30
miles an hour, then eased in front of me,
taunting, as we shifted into fourth. I was staring
up the dual 6" chrome tips of his exhaust,
snarling, my cappuccino forgotten, as he lifted a
little to take the next corner. I saw my
opportunity, and counting on the innate agility of
my trusty steed, I pulled wide into the number two
lane and kept my foot buried in carpet. Slowly, I
inched around him, feeling my Metro roll slowly to
the left as I came abreast in the midst of this
gradual sweeping turn. I felt the Geo ease onto
its suspension stops, and felt the right rear
wheel slowly leave the ground - no matter, though,
because my drive wheels, up front, were pulling me
through the corner, and around the Festiva.The
Ford driver beat his wheel in rage as my wife's
car eased past him on the outside...

[Heep]

Lol

I LOVE that story, that guy is amazing at writing stories

I posted that way back in February, but most members now weren't here then and it needed a refresher...good job!

[Hudson]

Enjoyable. Sorry if I just concentrated on the statistical errors. A 1.7L Festiva ("late-model" at that) would be interesting...they were 1.3L from the factory. Especially against a 2,000lb Metro (whew! 52hp and 2,000lbs without the driver...you do the math!).

Again, I'm nit-picking. Entertaining story, though.

[gang$tarr]

yeah lol i saw that a long time ago

but it's HILARIOUS

get more of those, heh

[Rich]

"Ford Festiva- a late model, could be trouble. Low profile tires,
curb feelers, and schoolbus-yellow paint. Yep, a hot rod, for sure."

Damn Funny

[Jimster]

hehe that is so funny 2 piddler cars going against eachother

[Tireburner]

Excellent writing tecnique!!

I could see the six seconds to cross the far crosswalk vididly!!!

[blacksnake98]

He was running a custom exhaust- probably a 2-into-1 dual exhaust...maybe even cutouts! Damn his hot-rod soul!


This is one of my favorite lines

[Tireburner]

vididly!!!

I can spell!! Honestly!!

Vividly... ahh much better

[speediva]

Very cute! I can just see the little preppy scum from my hometown pulling something like this! :hehe:

[gang$tarr]

Originally posted by saturntangerine
preppy scum

what was that?!

[S Brake]

lol, easy gang$tarr, she was just talking about him, not preps in general

[Rich]

Originally posted by gang$tarr


what was that?!

You get riled up too easy G$. Its just the internet, so relax.....otherwise you will turn into one of those ppl who get 1 insulting thing said to them and then you return the gesture with a fat pile of swears. And the person who insulted you in the first place will just sit there and laugh, cause you just dont get it.

[Polygon]

What was the link to that guys site. He is funnier than hell. :hehehe:

[gdalton]

Very funny they should hire him at car and driver for there econo-car shoot outs.