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#1
02-11-2009, 09:14 AM
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When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
By Kingpin Over the past 6 months, I have been playing a fun game with my credit card company. The game finally backfired on me today and led me through the most hilarious moment of my life. Most people would have been embarrassed, but me, I'm a little twisted, so I laughed all the way through it like an asshole. With any story, there is a setup process. Here is the setup to this story. About 6 months ago, I was making a purchase with my credit card and when I went to sign the electronic signature machine, it was broken. By broken, I mean that when I touched the pen to the machine, it went crazy and didn't look anything like my signature. It looked like a drunk 4 year old signed my name for me. It accepted the signature without any problems. So this really made me wonder what I could do to give my credit card company something to laugh about. I mean, they obviously don't review the signatures since they never called me or declined a purchase. For fucks sake, it could have been a stolen card. I started out modest by signing with a line or an "X". Occasionally I would do last name first. After a couple of months, I became bolder. I wrote goofy shit, drew pictures, etc. Here's a list of some of my favorite signatures over the past few months: I AM NOT KINGPIN I STOLE THIS f*** OFF f*** YOU WALMART SUCKS CALL ME CROTCHY CROTCHINGTON MY BALLS ITCH 911 I'M A CRIMINAL THANKS FOR THE STUFF Today I went the extra mile. When it came time to sign my name, a thought popped in my head. I should draw a picture. But what picture should I draw? I smirked as something completely juvenile came to me. This is a rough drawing of the signature that I provided: http://www.drunkrepublic.com/images/.../signature.jpg (image not embedded as not to offend people) Yes, I know, it's not my best artwork, but I didn't have the time to be elaborate with the drawing. I had to look like I was providing a signature. Right after I hit "OK", there was a pause. The register then said "COMPARE SIGNATURE ON SLIP TO CARD." One thought popped in my head: "OH f***!" It then printed the receipt and there in black and white was my shitty drawing of cock and balls. The lady at the register didn't immediately look at it. She asked for the card. I handed her the card and she flipped it over. Then she brought up the receipt and she smirked, but then took a stern tone and said "These signatures don't match." At this point I was in tears from trying to hold back my laughter. I tried to explain to her why I had done it, but it didn't matter. I probably didn't make sense as I laughed hysterically through the explanation. She then paged the manager and I erupted in laughter. The guy behind me in line got a glimpse of my signature on the receipt and began laughing. The manager comes up and the woman from the register begins whispering to him. I then hear a few words "he drew a penis..." as she holds up the receipt. The manager blurts out a short laugh and then controls it. He turns to me and I'm out of breath from laughing and I'm still giggling like a schoolgirl. Manager: Sir, your signature...heh...umm...doesn't match the signature on your card. Kingpin: I know and there is a good reason for that. Manager: (quietly) You drew a penis on my credit card machine. **The guy behind me bursts into laughter.** Kingpin: Yeah, I didn't think this would happen. I've been trying to see how far I could go with my signature before the credit card company did something about it. Manager: I guess you learned your lesson. Kingpin: Yeah, the credit card doesn't accept penis. **The guy behind me now can't stop laughing.** Manager: OK, I'm going to decline the signature and have you sign it again. Kingpin: Fair enough. Manager: This time, really sign it. So I had to sign it again and they wouldn't let me keep my artwork. Those bastards. I had singlehandedly broken up the monotony of their daily routine and given them something that they will be talking about for years to come and they wouldn't let me keep it. They will tell their grandchildren about the guy that drew cock and balls as his credit card signature. So I have a plan now. I'm going to get a new credit card and sign the back with my cock and balls drawing. Then I will consistently use that as the signature. That way, if I ever get caught in the same situation, the signatures will match. That will really f*** with them. 
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#2
02-11-2009, 12:56 PM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
 Legend!!
__________________
Ours: 2020 Jeep Wrangler 2.0, 53k 2013 Toyota FJ Cruiser, 84k Kids: 2005 Honda CRV, 228k
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#3
02-11-2009, 01:15 PM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
How many times do the cashiers actually look at the back of the card to compare sigs, even when prompted to do so by the machine? Practically none in my area. And they wonder about credit card fraud and stolen identities. There was a tip floating around a few years back which instructed card holders to not sign their cards, rather expect the cashier to ask for some sort of ID to confirm identity. Even that won't work when they don't even look at the card,( especially now when you don't even get a receipt for purchases under $25 any more unless you ask.
 ) Those machines also do a horrible job of displaying a signature, like you said they look like a drunken 4 year old did them. I think an Etch-A-Sketch does a better job.
__________________
Thought for the Day… Alcohol does not make you fat - It makes you lean... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.  If a prostitute here in America loses her job to a prostitute in India , is that considered "outwhoring"??-Jay Leno
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#4
02-11-2009, 03:05 PM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
OMG kris I laughed so hard I nearly
 my lunch !That is so classic and has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read.
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You don't own a Skyline, then don't cry to me about it! 1992 Silver R32 GTR tickled to 450hp. - Sold when I left NZ in 2004 Arguing on the Internet is like competing in the special olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded. Never confuse kindess with weakness. AF user guidelines, Please remember to abide by them  
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#5
02-11-2009, 03:54 PM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
Quote:
 Funniest shit I've read in a long time.
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#6
02-11-2009, 08:46 PM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
OMG, thats classic. I agree with others, I haven't laugh so much. Best post ever.
TS
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The more the members are involved in the process of development, the better we will be as a community of Automobile enthusiasts. Have a suggestion to make the community better, let us know. Remember, the "No" is always there, you are just looking for the "Yes" Members please read: Guidelines
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#7
02-11-2009, 09:03 PM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
some of my favorite signatures:
Shamu George Washington Dr. Who, The Master, Rose Tyler, and other Dr. Who related nicknames. Mufasa Alex the Lion Rush Limbaugh After a while names got boring, so I switched to objects: A toilet seat. A pound of feathers a shot glass the last crumb in the bag of chips an unladen swallow and occasionaly...I draw a picture, as well. My favorite was the typical third-grade drawing of a smiling sun and a tree with on apple on it, and a flower with two leaves at equal heights on either side of the stem.
__________________
Old signature is old.
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#9
02-12-2009, 04:00 AM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
Quote:
http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbul...d.php?t=493508
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#10
02-12-2009, 06:01 PM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
Quote:
__________________
1989 Caprice Classic Wagon, Olds 307 ,SMI Q-Jet, 200R4 w/Shift kit, Flowmaster 50, Hotchkiss sway bars, KYB Shocks. Jet Chip, 1989 Mustang LX 5.0 5sp convertible 1992 Camry LE 2.2 1996 Suzuki RMX250 I'm a victim of circumstance [ 
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#11
02-14-2009, 12:17 PM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
Quote:
Two freakin hilarious stories!!! Those were awesome! 
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-Brian
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#12
02-14-2009, 01:13 PM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
Seriously. That is the funniest thing I've read in forever. Thanks for that.
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Nicole the Great
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#13
02-16-2009, 09:12 AM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
HAHAHA. I love it.
__________________
2013 Chevy Sonic 1LZ Daily Driver, 1.4L Turbo, 6spd 75 Monte Carlo SBC 400 6.6L, Aluminum heads, Hurricane Intake... 12 Chevy Sonic 1LZ 1.8L - Traded 01 Pontiac Grand Am SE - RIP 95 Eagle Talon ESi-T 5spd - RIP 88 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera- RIP
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#14
02-17-2009, 11:13 AM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
I've heard it before but it is still a great story!
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Blessed are the cracked ones, for they are the ones that let in the light. Quote:
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#15
02-20-2009, 05:39 PM
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Re: When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires
OMG!! this is the funniest crap ever! i almost fell off my chair i was laughing so hard! good one
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