Do I tell her or do I just sit????

[-Davo]

Originally Posted by chavocrazy69

Okay, totally new to this. I'm used to complaining about my Accord and stuff. Question: I have a good friend who I am very close to. Unfortunately, I have developed a huge crush on her. I keep telling myself it will never work because now I'm in the "friend" zone. She sends mixed signals, and I really don't know if it is worth the risk of there being ackwardness. Do I risk it and tell her (possibly getting shut down and hurt), or do I just wait until this craziness passes? Thoughts? craigcully...Shutup.

i fell for a chick about a year ago, we became friends, and because i wanted to ask her out (i was seing someone else as well, long distance) i was scared cause we were 'just friends'

then in july, i worked up the courage, and asked her out, at the begining of the date, i told her my feelings (i did not use the 'L' word) i told her i've been crazy for a while, and asked if she's like to 'date' me, possibly a bad move, she sorta freaked out, then said that she doesn't want to, i asked why, and she said 'because we're buddies'

yeah well, my mum and dad were 'just buddies'

we're still good friends, so if you're thinking of it, ask her out of a 'friendship date' to get to know her better, then when she shows interest, ask her out...the WORST that can happen is she reject you, and never talks to you again, but the most likly out come is she rejects you and just wants to be friends.

but if you don't want to push it, i highly recommend you don't ask her out, or, just go with what you think is right.

[BMW_4.4i]

Originally Posted by Oz

Truly - I've been in the same situation. I can STRONGLY recommend you sit on it for at least a month to two months and then reconsider telling her. If you still feel the same way - go for it.

Ditto. That is what I would do.

[Parmenides3]

I may be old-fashioned, but I'm young and old-fashioned. It seems to me that if we live more on the level of what we think than how we feel, we become able to respond to life in a broader variety of ways. Is it possible that you could raise the topic to discuss it with her without putting your feelings in charge of the conversation? It would go along way to keeping it from being weird to talk about it. I don't mean that we should box up our feelings and ignore them. I just mean that friends ought to be able to discuss what they think without feeling odd about it. If you think that a future romance is possible with a friend, I would think that a real friend could discuss that. Having a fair discussion would mean, though, that one must be equally open to the answer they desire and the answer they do not desire. I only bring it up because being rational, I think, opens up more opportunities for us.

[Blaker14]

Originally Posted by chavocrazy69

Okay, totally new to this. I'm used to complaining about my Accord and stuff. Question: I have a good friend who I am very close to. Unfortunately, I have developed a huge crush on her. I keep telling myself it will never work because now I'm in the "friend" zone. She sends mixed signals, and I really don't know if it is worth the risk of there being ackwardness. Do I risk it and tell her (possibly getting shut down and hurt), or do I just wait until this craziness passes? Thoughts? craigcully...Shutup.

Happened to me just the past year (actual through most of high school) and here is what happen and the results of my experience

When I was a freshman, I was very quiet and shy. The first time i saw her was in a history class. I didnt develope and crush on her, cause i like someone else at the time. She always talked to me and I always consider her a friend. During the summer we occasional hung out, still like a friend, however I think she liked me more than that. Sophomore past and i didnt see her as much, she wasnt in any of my classes. During this time, I went through a couple of bad relationships, most of them i want to forget. It wasnt until junior year when her friend told me how much she liked me and i didn't take advantage. She wasnt the hottest girl in school yet she was pretty and had a great personality. I lucked out my 2nd semister and she was in my class again. At this point the position was turned around, and i found myself liking her and she only though of me as a friend.
To make a long story short, it is senior year for me and i no longer talk to her, because i guess i tried too hard to make up for past times (I told her my feelings for her on the phone that summer BAD IDEA). I have moved on yet i have always wondered what it would be like to be with her. Oh Well

This story was from a different persective, but those were my results. My advice is to move on

[Parmenides3]

It all depends on the person you are and the person she is. Some people don't handle the news that a friend is attracted to them constructively. Others do. I've prepared several couples for weddings who were firends for a long time before dating, but each had this in common: they made a mutual decision to start dating. They were all the kind of friends who could discuss the possibility of romance without being completely sold on it. They weren't lop-sided in romance or friendship.

[carnut]

Originally Posted by chavocrazy69

Yeah, thanks guys. I haven't told her, mainly because I don't wanna. I just don't think it would be a good idea. Plus, we are moving into a house this summer with a bunch of people, and I wouldn't want it to be weird.

Good move. Work and "friendship" (which usually moves on to sex) is not a good idea from my experience, especially when you find out that one woman knew the other .

[Nettyesquivel]

just tell her , cuz guys will do the girl, and leave her for her friend anyways