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12-06-2001, 10:40 AM
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#1 | |
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Funding the welfare state
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Petoskey, Michigan
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15 Easy steps to do your duty like a woman (rated R)
This will probably tick someone off, so I put the Rated R disclaimer and in the title and just reminded you of it.
1. Under no circumstances use any other toilet than your own, regardless of any stomach pain that may be caused while waiting to get home. 2. With the toilet-brush, clean any residue left on the bowl by your boyfriend/husband. Also wipe his pubic hair off the seat with some toilet paper. 3. Flush the toilet before starting. Then wash your hands. 4. Line the toilet seat with toilet paper (as other people may have sat on the toilet since it was last bleached). 5. Stuff toilet paper inside the bowl to prevent splash back. 6. Pull panties down and sit. Some women may still prefer to squat over the seat as opposed to taking the risk of touching it with bare flesh. 7. Release solids, but strain to avoid making any sounds. 8. Rise and quickly flush before direct eye contact is made with any feces. 9. Take a length of toilet paper and fold it several times to positively guarantee that no residue will touch bare skin (about five or six applications per roll). 10. Wipe once and throw paper into the bowl. Do not look at the paper. 11. Repeat steps 9 and 10 at least thirty times. It may be necessary to yell for your boyfriend/husband to find some more rolls to pass through the door while promising not to open his eyes or pass any comments. It is traditional to do this while he is trying to watch sports. 12. Flush the toilet and replace the lid. 13. Wash hands at least three times with disinfectant soap. 14. Open all windows and spray approximately half-a-can of air freshener. 15. Pick up all reading material left behind by your boyfriend/husband and leave bathroom, closing the door firmly behind you. Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
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Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) |
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12-06-2001, 10:44 AM
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Skyline Man
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Show me state, Missouri
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 :smoker2:
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You don't own a Skyline, then don't cry to me about it! 1992 Silver R32 GTR tickled to 450hp. - Sold when I left NZ in 2004 Arguing on the Internet is like competing in the special olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded. Never confuse kindess with weakness. AF user guidelines, Please remember to abide by them  
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12-06-2001, 10:48 AM
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R.I.P. DAD 3/25/11
Join Date: May 2001
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Being how it all relates to the toilet, wife getting on your nerves?
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Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
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12-06-2001, 11:28 AM
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Funding the welfare state
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Petoskey, Michigan
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Quote:
Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
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Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) |
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12-06-2001, 11:33 AM
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AF Fanatic
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: La Vergne, Tennessee
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I'm not that bad!
I'm really not! I swear!
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Like a boy - but BETTER! 2005 Subaru Forester 2.5X 1997 Honda Civic EX Coupe Inform yourself: AF User Guidelines |
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12-06-2001, 11:34 AM
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R.I.P. DAD 3/25/11
Join Date: May 2001
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Quote:
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Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
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12-06-2001, 11:56 AM
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#7 | |
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AF Fanatic
 
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damn, i didn't really want to read that................. but i did
hehebored at school, what can i say  how long does that process take? couple hours?!!?  does it take any guys more than 5 min??? (not counting the bad kinds, if you know what i mean) if i'm in a public place i never touch the seat either :apuke: have to pull the ol' hover above the seat
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R.I.P. Lamont Coleman a.k.a. Big L -- 1975-1999 "Your ice don't shine an your chain hollow/ why you front in clubs for hours wit tha same bottle/ takin midget sips/ I run wit the richest clicks/ Tap the thickest chicks/ plus drop the slickest hits/ you know nothin about L/ so don't doubt L/ what's this muthafuckin rap game wit out L/ Yo that's like jewels wit out ice/ that's like china wit out rice/ or the holy bible wit out christ/ tha bulls wit out mike/ crack heads wit out pipes/ or hockey games wit out fights/ don't touch the mic if you aint able to spit/ flamboyant is tha label i'm wit.. muthafucka.... Big L" |
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12-06-2001, 02:46 PM
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AF Enthusiast
Join Date: Nov 2001
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funny....very funny....
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:flash: *Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars ~Les Brown *People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within ~Elizabeth kubler-Ross. AIM: starlights1814 |
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12-07-2001, 01:44 PM
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Funding the welfare state
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Petoskey, Michigan
Posts: 17,795
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Quote:
Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
__________________
Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) |
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