the bathroom - and other things :)

WARNING: this may be a little graphic (hopefully not too bad to where mods have to close it) but everyone should be warned that you either need to be 18 or older or read this and understand these are adult situations.
















this past weekend i was out at the bars with some friends. i was at the urinal lookin forward at the ads on the wall. some other guy walks in and proceeds to use the one right next to me. Now i try and avoid eye contact when i'm goin to the bathroom just because it's a little weird. But this guy was like, "hey man, can i buy you a drink?" I didn't think he was serious at first, so i just laughed. He persisted and I had to say no (not to sound stereotypical, but the way he was dressed, the inflection in his voice, it all leaded me to believe that he was gay. I have nothing wrong with that but I would have felt bad just getting a drink from a stranger).

Then today at work I was going to the bathroom and my boss walks in. He starts up with a conversation. I didn't know whether to look at him while i was talking or to look forward. I was brought up where eye contact is important when holding a conversation. In the bathroom though there is different etiquette (sp?).

What do you all, presumably men only, do in this situation? Ladies can feel free to answer or offer input.

When in the bathroom at school w/ the guys, dont look at them unless they are looking at you when talking. But yes, unless in the bathroom, eye contact is very important when conversing.

Ok on the graphic scale, IMO.

You spelled "etiquette" correctly. :)


So your boss talked to you. OK big deal. Talk back, and instead of making constant eye contact just glance over at him once and awhile. I stopped worrying about that sort of thing years ago. Everyone has to go sometime.

Of course when someone you'd not want to buy you a drink asks, say no no matter what the venue. :lol:

i also forgot about the "splash zone" it's always an empty one between you and the next person

^ Splash zone? lol, go on.

So your boss talked to you. OK big deal. Talk back, and instead of making constant eye contact just glance over at him once and awhile. I stopped worrying about that sort of thing years ago. Everyone has to go sometime.


i did, unfortunately the conversation started lasting longer than the time needed for me to relieve myself. do you then stick around in the bathroom until he is done or just leave? i just left, seeing how it was a trivial conversation anyways, i just didn't want to be rude.

In that case, just stick around while you wash your hands, grab a paper towel, etc. Normal stuff. If he wants to keep talking, no sweat. You could always just say you have a mound of work to do or something to excuse yourself.

wow...youre 22 and youre asking this? simple. eyes on the wall and if peripheral vision shows that he glances at you, then glance.

as for staying, why not? whats the big deal, not to mention he is your boss so duh, do w/e you can to suck up and i mean that w/o any pun.

also, 18 and up? seriously, this thread is not that big of deal. *Sigh* is this what society has come to???

i'm so glad i'm not a guy. that whole peeing etiquette thing seems like such a nuisance. and i'd be worried about some dude looking at me. yay for bathroom stalls! and yes sometimes girls talk while we're in there peeing too. but rarely.

as for your situation..um..not that i have much experience in that but i say just look ahead and occasionally glance over at him i guess. :dunno:

i've seen some pretty sweet urinals *on tv* that make me jealous tho. fountains and waterfalls and stuff that you stand next to and pee in. lucky.

yeah, well seein how i'm about 6'4" i rarely look over. not only do i not really want to see their "junk" but it also might make them uncomfortable.

i'm so glad i'm not a guy. that whole peeing etiquette thing seems like such a nuisance.
nuisance?!?! The world is our urinal, but you women need a toilet. pfhh

In my book there are simple rules to the bathroom:

1) You have 3 eye options: straight down, straight up, straight forward

2) No speaking

3) See rule 1

4) Keep a buffer zone of 1 stall minimum
*Rule 4 may only be broken if in over-crowded bathroom

I had a similar situation at my job (the second situation, not the first) I maintained rule 1 but out of general politeness spoke back. But the guy (my supervisor) did maintain a buffer zone of 1 stall minimum

^ You must have that buffer,...or else thing could get ugly.

Exactly. And I'm 6'5 so if the Rule 4 exemption clause is used, Rule 1 becomes SO much more important.
NEVER break Rule 1!!! :nono:

and thats somethin to live by my friend. NEVER break rule #1.

nuisance?!?! The world is our urinal, but you women need a toilet. pfhh
yeah toilets are great. peeing without them is just...well i'm not even going to go there, but it is more difficult.

and so what if the world is ur urinal? so you can get drunk, run outside and pee shapes and "write" in the snow? now there is something to brag about..:rolleyes:

^ can you write your name in the snow?? I rest my case.

She could if her name was Dot

girls named Dot > all other girls

Exactly. And I'm 6'5 so if the Rule 4 exemption clause is used, Rule 1 becomes SO much more important.
NEVER break Rule 1!!! :nono:

yeah man, it sux bein tall in a crowded bathroom.

Man, there's some seriously insecure people in this thread.

99% of the time, bathroom conversation goes something like this..

You're taking a slash, dude comes in
"hey bro!"
-hey man how's your night going?
"good you?
-yeah not bad

Then you throw something in, usually regarding the amount of fine female talent. wash hands, "have a good night bro" and bail.

Although if a guy asked to buy me a drink IN the bathroom I'd say no..

BUT...

If you're a guy, and another guy asks to buy you a drink, go for it. Get the drink, and just be like, "sweet, thanks for the drink bro, but I gotta go find my girlfriend." It's a free drink, come on. Milk it.

^ Thats how it usually is too.

Call it what you must but there are certain things in life I avoid, one of them is talkin to another guy while I got my man in my hand

^ Thats how it usually is too.

You're 16...how would you know?

i have no problem talkin at night in a bar or a club. but at work it's a little different, mainly in the absence of alcohol.

as far as gettin the free drink. i did say no, just like to drugs. and it a was good thing. my friend said later that night that the same guy who asked to buy me a drink grabbed my friends butt. and my friend is not a girl.

You're 16...how would you know?
Believe it or not we 16 year olds use the bathroom too. :wink:

Believe it or not we 16 year olds use the bathroom too. :wink:
yeah..i think he got that part. i'm guessing what he meant is at a club or bar scene where there is alcohol involved in a public restroom situation.

I was reffering to the conversation in the bathrooms. I figured he would know i dont go to bars. JEEZ!

i also forgot about the "splash zone" it's always an empty one between you and the next person
It's not the splash zone, it's the comfort zone.

At work there are two stalls and two urinals. I was in the middle of pissing and this guy comes right next to me when there were two stalls open. I just think the comfort zone is good b-room etiquette.

Also I hate seeing people not wash their hands. SICKENING!

*Seinfeld*".....Not that there's anything wrong with that." *senifeld*:lol:

man, after a movie once, you know how it is, i saw five guys go and then just leave...

just nasty

What gets me THE MOST, is that ALL FUCKING BATHROOMS have pull doors. And you get people who don't wash their hands. I don't want to touch a friggin doorhandle some dirty prick's just had his hand on.

MORE PUSH DOORS PLEASE

MORE PUSH DOORS PLEASE
I hear ya. I usually use a paper towel to open the doors.

Oh man you guys have to read the chapter on Urinal Etiquette in The Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox. It will clear up all this confusion.

^ where can i find this reading matterial you speek of?

Oh man you guys have to read the chapter on Urinal Etiquette in The Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox. It will clear up all this confusion.

Oh man...

In general, if we take s to be the number of stalls, and n to be the number of patrons, you can find out which stall you should use with the following simple equation:

Stallposition = n+(n-1)
= 2n-1

where n < s/2

Maddox is hilarious.

yeah...i hated thast, although, i think i laughed. i was stupid when i was young

^ where can i find this reading matterial you speek of?

a bookstore... i found a copy at Borders books but i'm sure you can find it in any major bookstore.

The comfort zone (splash zone) is a must, i just feel wierd if not, unless the bathroom is crowded. I don't mind speaking, but Rule #1 is always in affect. As far as the pull door, ef them...

What gets me THE MOST, is that ALL FUCKING BATHROOMS have pull doors. And you get people who don't wash their hands. I don't want to touch a friggin doorhandle some dirty prick's just had his hand on.

MORE PUSH DOORS PLEASE
or how about no door at all? those bathrooms where you walk thru a little maze to get in so that there is nothing to touch and no one can see in. those are probably most sanitary

but those aren't always a good alternative because of space. but i'd rather have a push door than a pull door, it saves paper towel.

I usually won't talk unless spoken to, and i always follow rule #1. One thing to remember though is that stalls are ok to use, you don't have to use the urinals because you're urinating, if there are only 2 urinals and 2 ppl, use a stall.

One thing to remember though is that stalls are ok to use, you don't have to use the urinals because you're urinating, if there are only 2 urinals and 2 ppl, use a stall.

Heck yes...i'm not waiting for them to finish, i have to go when i have to go.

^ exactly. I actually preffer a stall. I dont want any men accidentally glancing over at me, and feeling emberrased because I am a MAN!

I fully believe in use of the stall when they've reached full capacity at "the wall". But some people actually close the door for this. Seems to me that everybody was gonna see my back anyway, so why close the stall door? Thats just putting more time between me and relief!

edit: We need to send this thread to Miller Brewing Company so they can cite us as official advisors to Man Law

man i hate using urinals, ill use a stall over a urinal anytime, even if im the only one in the bathroom.

There should also be another rule

Dont Over shake. You know that guy thats gotta shake it for like 30 seconds straight. You have time to wash and dry your hands and that guy is still shaking it around like hes at a rave.

if you shake it more than twice you're playing with yourself

if you shake it more than twice you're playing with yourself
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: ^Man Law!

if you shake it more than twice you're playing with yourself
LOL, rule #5.

Man Law!
:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: i love it.

this is such an enlightening thread...

if you shake it more than twice you're playing with yourself

it seems i play with myself everytime i pee standing up...

it seems i play with myself everytime i pee standing up...

so you sit down to pee the rest of the time???:uhoh:

this is such an enlightening thread...

haven't you always wondered what went on behind those walls :rofl: jk jk

haven't you always wondered what went on behind those walls :rofl: jk jk
hmm..almost. i was just always happier i was on the other side of the wall in my nice girly stall :)

so you sit down to pee the rest of the time???:uhoh:

well, when i wake up at 4am and get some giant blood rush when everything goes black i can't quite stand properly and need to sit down. if it's not that i'm just taking laziness to a whole new level.

I pee sitting down sometimes!

well, when i wake up at 4am and get some giant blood rush when everything goes black i can't quite stand properly and need to sit down. if it's not that i'm just taking laziness to a whole new level.

I pee sitting down sometimes!
emo kids do that too. so that makes you...:rolleyes:

it's the new level of femininity for them. as if pants that make their balls disappear weren't enough...

emo kids do that too. so that makes you...:rolleyes:

it's the new level of femininity for them. as if pants that make their balls disappear weren't enough...

refer to my avatar.

emo kids do that too... as if pants that make their balls disappear weren't enough...
:lol:
My friend says she plans on teaching her boys to sit down to pee because its "more sanitary". And (this is the kicker) she's going to teach them to wipe when they're done. No, not the deuce, they'll wipe it when they're finished emptyin the fire hose. And she's serious too. I pray to God she never has boys:disappoin

i remember when i had to wake up at 4am in high school for basketball practice sometimes i would sit down to pee. except i would face the wall and i would fall asleep on the tank of the toilet. it was quite comfy when you're workin with about 4 hours of sleep.

i woke up in the bath once, in the middle of the night and had absolutely no idea how i got there...

i woke up in the bath once, in the middle of the night and had absolutely no idea how i got there...

that happens when you either A) drink too much or B) drink too much, spend the night with a Mexican hooker and you wake up noticing one of your kidneys is missing.

i remember when i had to wake up at 4am in high school for basketball practice sometimes i would sit down to pee. except i would face the wall and i would fall asleep on the tank of the toilet. it was quite comfy when you're workin with about 4 hours of sleep.
Damn those two-a-days! I know exactly what you mean, lol.