AF.com Story Thread......Reloaded. (AND KEEP IT CLEAN!)

"What do we do now?"

Then......

he proceded to ask himself what an infinity improbablility drive is. Decided to throw it away and join the race on an electric scooter equiped with a NAWZ sticker and a carbon fibre steering wheel. Vin realised that his tricycle had met its match. He wondered whether this electric scooter could really be equiped with a 100 shot of NAWZZZZ? He decided to...

...test him and find out.

They lined up at the red light, tricycle and scooter toeing the white line. Faces grinned. Motors revved. Fingers poised over NOS buttons. Concentration focused on the launch. . . .

. . .VIN DIESEL FARTS! oh no his compeition takes off thinking it was the firing gun. . .

the competition faints at the smell of old cheeses and what smells like a dead animal. Vin takes advantage and...

starts pedaling. He begins gainin speed like a maniac!!!!! 1MPH! .........................................(4 Hours later) 2MPH!!!!!!!!!!.................................... ....................(6 hours later) 2.5 MPH!!!!........................................... .....(3 weeks) 2.7 MPH!........................

Then he realized he was on an electric scooter and didnt need to peddal...So he mashed the accelerator when all of the sudden....

his manifold suddenly breaks, loses control and goes over a curb. He hits a tree hard, is lying on the grass dieing. Lo and behold, someone totally unexpected comes to save him...

It's......

Super-Man he picks up Vin and flies off to...

Jamaica and starts the 2nd cool runnings when he goes to recruit people for the team he...

...gets anal raped by a monkey and gets AIDS, which cause him to...

Ahem...Enough of that. CLEAN.

Anyway, he then tries to escape jamaica, with the Aid infested monkeys, when HighOctane Apears out of a jump, and says, "Hey! You owe me a race!" So vin Jumped on the back of one monkey, and lined up with the mothership....The count was 3...2...1...

FART! the monkey farted, and was beating highoctane with the the methane being more powerful than the nos powered ship. AND............

Vin jumped off the monkey. A crowd of people appear around them and Vin starts his lecture. "Damn monkey, what is this? Not double farting like you should! Now me and the mad scientist need to take you back to the garage cut you open and replace the heart valves you fried." Right as Vin finished his lecture he couldn't help but notice that...

His watch indicated he had been awake for over 36 hours at this point. He decided to check in to a hotel for a couple of days to sleep. When he woke up, ....

He found his replace ment for 2f2f roman peirce sleeping next to him and said...

man that was some great sex! then he rolled over and. . .

man that was some great sex! then he rolled over and. . .

... and saw -Jayson- lying next to him. Thats when Vin said...

That's a baby dick! Jayson replies...

Ok... thats enough...lets keep it cleaner...

Do over publicenemy

Don't get this locked people.

Anyway, back to the clean story.

He found his replace ment for 2f2f roman peirce sleeping next to him and said...


"Is this the set? When am I on??" Roman told him that he was just confused, that it was cool and thank God there were two beds, because he'd had a nasty dream. Vin shrugged on his jacket and went to buy a new tricycle. Then he went looking for HighOctane. They had unfinished business.....

"Is this the set? When am I on??" Roman told him that he was just confused, that it was cool and thank God there were two beds, because he'd had a nasty dream. Vin shrugged on his jacket and went to buy a new tricycle. Then he went looking for HighOctane. They had unfinished business.....


Meanwhile, HighOctane was in his driveway. Its warm and sunny day and he felt it was a good time to wash his trikey. Thats where Vin found him and thats when...

Vin asked "that thing got NOS?"
High Octane replied "No Vin, It's got mad quik VTEC and..."

and lots of stickers, coffee can pep-boys exhaust, and a huge non-functional which makes it fast.

..Vin said "Lets Race"....

They both lined up their trikes, and Vin says..first one to the stop sign and back wins. They took off when all of a sudden.....

A fat woman (no offence oversized people) starts crossing the street so Vin decides to...

Johnny Tran comes up in his super modded out trike 2000 with the new iVtec technology. Johnny Tran then looks at Vin with a glare, and says...

Get out of my I way I am an Illegal and I can't get arrested because I will be deported.

As for the issue with the fat lady, Vin decided to gun it and jump right in front of her. He hit both NAWZZs' and....

Hogie speeds out of the local Krispy Kreme Doughnuts parking lot in a Gauss Warthog with his younger brother at the turret.

Hogie and his brother then speed along the main street firing rounds at Vin, Jonny Tran, and the fat lady when.......

the SWAT and FBI arrived chasing everybody for disturbance of the peace, in massive forms. So.....

All the street racers wonder how the hell the police AND the FBI could get there even before their rippin' fast tricycles made it to the stop sign and back. They realize that it's a sting operation aimed at Hogie and his brother, who had stolen the Warthog from a secret government project (aka HALO) for their own nefarious plot.

Vin and HighOctane cruised by at the speed limit, eyes bugging, as Hogie and his brother were arrested. They decided to go to another place, a safer place, to finally have their race. But that involved.....

Buying every gum ball out the gum machine at the corner store, then riding razor scooters through a rain forest and...

Buying every gum ball out the gum machine at the corner store, then riding razor scooters through a rain forest and...

...and decided to stop for a casual picnic. Thats when, all of the sudden, they heard what sounded like a bear and not your average bear either. "Hey Boo Boo, is that a pin-a-nic basket?" Thats when HighOctane and Vin decide...

to run away with their picnic basket but it was too late because yogi bear had swung out of a tree and stole the picnic basket and as yogi bear ran off with boo boo.....

the Bear did not noticed boo boo in his way and being much taller, the Bear tripped over boo boo and fell. Being that the picnic basket did indeed contain the secret HALO project known as Warthog. Vin sprung into action and took the pinic basket away from the Bear. Vin knew that the Bear and boo boo were part of that secret governemt agency known as RICERS and could not at any risk leave the picnic basket in their hands. As vin was about to leave with the picnic basket ....

He noticed that the pinic basket was empty, as he turned around to look for the secret project the pinic basket once held, he saw yogi and boo boo, running away with the project, and jumped into their RICER mobile a 4 wheel trash can with a type R sticker as Vin ran after them......

And HighOctane cut right infront of the pic-a-nic basket theives with more HALO stolen property, a scorpian tank! He turned the turret towards Yogi, and boo boo, when...

The giant Monty Python foot crushed the scorpian tank, destroying it and sending High Octane straight into the passenger side of Vins type R Trash can. It was at this point that...


(BTW: does anyone else find this similar to one of those annoying dreams where you go somewhere, then come back to where you started, but it isn't the same place? And all weird stuff happens?)

This IS like one of those dreams....


It's my thread, so I can post whenever:p

But then another scorpian tank appears, because HighOctane really wanted to blow shit up...

High Octane maneuvered the tank through the trees. He grinned fiercely as he recalled the satisfying explosions; boo boo and Yogi had been blown to bits by his first shot. His second had gone wide, but his third had struck dead on the pic-a-nic basket, and now only shredded, burnt wicker remained. The ranger's truck, which had been parked nearby, had exploded quite satisfactorily.

At last he saw the end of the forest coming up ahead.
He had a full tank of fuel and over 100 rounds of HE and AP ammunition.

Where now, he thought?

(Why must it take so long to get 5 replies? Im too impatient :p)

High Octane decided to blow up the giant monty python foot first, blew it to pieces and that was the end of that. Next he decided to blow up Paul Walker to hope to finish the crappy Fast and the Furious movies for good. Paul Walker seemed to be walking though the forest, so High Octane blasted a missile at him. Paul saw the explosive heading for him, he had no time to move, so he simply said"....

"I don't have tp put up with this... I topped out at 140 and shifted 7 times. I'll just press this here button and..."

"I don't have tp put up with this... I topped out at 140 and shifted 7 times. I'll just press this here button and..."

...and the cappuccino will be a flowin. What a great idea it was to install the cappuccino machine in the car. I rock!", said Paul Walker. Thats when...

...the intake manifold on the cappuccino machine blew a weld! "Curses!" said Paul Walker. "Now the floor is going to fall out. I better ask Vin if..."

"He ever got that double mocha latte before the plenum blows." That's when he saw an asian motorcycle gang and...

Sexy_Angel outside of the pub talking when...

Well, what happened to him then cannot be printed here. You see, Paul Walker was hated by biker gangs in general, since he had made FAF first instead of something like "Torque", which was supposed to glorify motorcycles.

So when the police responded to the scene, they saw Mr. Walker face down in a deep pool of his own specialty coffees.

.
.
.
Vin decided it was fortunate indeed that the bikers hadn't spotted him hiding in the bushes, and that Walker's car still ran after blowing the cappucino gasket. He was flying down the highway with Sexy_Angel in the passenger seat, headed for......

...A gas station. Vin went inside to pay for the gas and told Sexy_Angel to start pumping the gas, but since she didn't know how...

to Put it in she...

asked the two midget clowns to put the gas in for her, then Vin came out and said....

to sexy angel " two midgets are filling the car up"

to sexy angel " two midgets are filling the car up"


That'll be $28.50

"and Vin said to her get me a box of kleenex, i messed in my pants" after which she...

Said get ur friend roman pierce to do it... *winks* an then he said....

"DUCK", which she replied, "hmmm yes I would love some duck right about now". "Noooo" said vin as he pushed her out of the way of the incoming....

"DUCK", which she replied, "hmmm yes I would love some duck right about now". "Noooo" said vin as he pushed her out of the way of the incoming....

...incoming script to Fast and Furious 3. Luckily Vin pushed her outta the way before it got her but he wasn't so fortunate. 10 minutes later Vin, who was knocked out cold, woke up to...