getting revenge on telemarketers

[taranaki]

Cut/paste


I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.
ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.
ME: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.
ME: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.
ME: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?
ME: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
ME: Ok, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

ME: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
ME: May I ask who is calling, please?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.
ME: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.
ME: The phone company?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.
ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
ME: 7 days a week?
AT&T: That's right.
ME: 365 days a year?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
ME: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
AT&T: Excuse me?
ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?
ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.
AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ...
ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?
ME: Yes?
SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
ME: Is This AT&T?
SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.
ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
ME: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan?
ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...
AT&T: click........

[tazdev]

ROFL

heard it before but still funny

[Oz]

LMFAO...gonna try that one too...

[Vyacheslav]

Naki this is good. I bet its very hard to keep talking like that!

[Midnight Racer]

Got to try that some time.

[supratuner]

Originally posted by Midnight Racer
Got to try that some time.

most things my dad sees on the internet, he hates, bu he dies laughing about this, were gonna try that when they call, if they do call, theyve been scared to since my grandparetns died and they caled 5 minutes after we got the phone call that my grand pa was dead, theyve learned not to call back again

[Suislide]

i like the way Jerry Seinfeld deals with this.

Jerry - "oh i'm sorry, i'm kind of busy right now, but if you give me your name and home phone number i'll call you back"

Telemarketer - "um i'm afraid i can't do that sir"

Jerry - "oh, so you don't like strange people calling your house and bothering you?"

Telemarketer - "Yes."

Jerry - "Well now you know how i feel." *click*

[fullbloodchop01]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA................ .........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
trully one to try next time AT&T calls

[tomlong]

That is funny!

[Sean]

too bad AT&T never calls my house. i keep getting calls from the local newspaper though, they keep giving us these special offers for ex-costumers who get pissed off at the company then switch to another newspaper. At least, im pretty sure thats whats going on.

[SiRI]

I love messing with them, I can never keep them on the phone that long though. But its always fun for a matter of time

[tonioseven]

'Naki is the man !!!:ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper

[TexasF355F1]

:bonghitte Absolutely histaricle(sp?) I think theres a law in the U.S. right now making it illegal or it comes in to affect at the end of the month. Any body hear about this?

[boingo82]

Originally posted by supratuner


most things my dad sees on the internet, he hates, bu he dies laughing about this, were gonna try that when they call, if they do call, theyve been scared to since my grandparetns died and they caled 5 minutes after we got the phone call that my grand pa was dead, theyve learned not to call back again

...I think it was probably me that called you. That happens to every telemarketer about once a month - keep in mind you call over 200 people per day - and it's horrible, as is the whole business.

[civicHBsi91]

lol that is great