97 starting problem

[ajr5285]

I have 97 lumina and occasionally it will not start. The lights come on but it will not turn over. I just put a battery in it a couple of weeks ago and a starter a year ago. When i leave the key on and try to use a screwdriver on the starter, the starter just spins but doesnt engage. When it wouldnt start the first time i used the screwdriver without the key on then tried starting with the key and it started. Last time it didnt work but i turned the key off and waited a few minutes then it did start. I removed the starter relay fuse and it replicated the problem exactly. I believe it is the starter relay but i can't find it.. If someone could tell me where it is or if it isnt the problem please let me know what you think.
Thanks
Alex

[maxwedge]

If you jumped to the solenoid and the starter did not engage you bypassed all the other components, the starter/or solenoid is the problem.

[ajr5285]

i put a new starter in 2 years ago then well it was under warranty i replaced it because i was having intermittent problems so i dont think it is the starter. Also when i jump it now (and it is running fine now) it doesnt engage, but when i turn it on with the key it does so i cant be bypassing everything else