new lease on life

[-Davo]

as i sit here, my right arm is in a plaster splint, i am numb.

i cannot feel my pinky, nor move it.

i can barely move my other fingers and i can barely move my thumb, i can't type properly, do up my pants or play my guitar.

i cant open a bottle of milk or hold a knive to cut my steak

my arm is tingling, or is it still numb? i do not know

but i smile, i laugh and cry that i am breathing, i am sitting on my chair, i have friends and you guys, i have a second chance.

last wednesday, exactly 1 year to the day my cousin died, i could of. i wont go into details, but my brother and i were fighting, he violantly left the kitchentable at dinner and i followed him with threats of violance (i talk alot of shit)

he went into his bed side table and took out a large hunting knive and charged me, i grabed his arms to stop him, with his rage he over powered me, and the knife penetrated my arm, lasherating my artery and cutting two important nerves.

what if he slipped? what if he cut my neck? yes, i am in a crappy situation, but the out look is good

the nerves were reconnected and my muscles restitched.

it will be sometime until i will regain proper use of my arm, but when this is over, i refuse to take life for granted any longer

no more 3pm wake ups
no more bullshit, no more hate, no more feeling bad and not doing any thing about it.


this was a struggle to write.



i thought i was going to die
i am afraid of death
but my new lease on life has overpowered my nightmare thoughts, i am still here and kicking.

no more wasting my time, no more drinking till i regret it, i have better things to do, like spend time with my dad, and my grandpa, and write music once more, and learning more of our history, and my own, and look 4ward 2 the future.

its hard not to cry, i understand what has happened, and no, i will never forgive my brother. i forgive him for what he did to my arm, but not for the senceless, shelfish attack that could of ended my short life.

ty and see u guys in the coming weeks as i heal.

oh and vinney, just 4 u opeth got me through my 3 day hosptial visit


peace

[fredjacksonsan]

Dude! So sorry to hear about your bad situation. Here's hoping you'll make a full recovery. That's messed up. Is your brother in jail then?

[Toksin]

So no more WOW then?

Glad to hear you're ok bro, new lease on life is always fun

[blazee]

Are you going to rethink your views on god now that he saved you?

[drunken monkey]

surely the religious types would say that this is a warning from god...

[blazee]

Originally Posted by drunken monkey

surely the religious types would say that this is a warning from god...

Is this proof that god reads the internet?

[Thunderous voice] Stop talking shit about me on t3h web or I'll cut j00!!!11 [/Thunderous voice]

[ericn1300]

Originally Posted by -Davo

i wont go into details, but my brother and i were fighting, he violantly left the kitchentable at dinner and i followed him with threats of violance (i talk alot of shit)

he went into his bed side table and took out a large hunting knive and charged me, i grabed his arms to stop him, with his rage he over powered me, and the knife penetrated my arm, lasherating my artery and cutting two important nerves..........

and no, i will never forgive my brother. i forgive him for what he did to my arm, but not for the senceless, shelfish attack that could of ended my short life.

From the facts above it sounds like his act of self defense was justified and that the forgiveness you seek needs to be accompanied by the acknowledgment that you were at least equally responsible if not the instigator. Forgiveness is not something to be expected of everyone, hatred or animosity in a case like yours is more the norm, but with the grace of God I hope you find the true meaning of forgiveness.

[72chevelleOhio]

Originally Posted by -Davo

(i talk alot of shit)

WHAT?!?!? REALLY?!?!?!



.......Now I sit back and wait.....

[Oz]

-Davo, I'm glad you're OK mate. Sometimes it's good to have a big "wake up call" when you end up in Hospital - I've certainly had one this year (hospital for 2 days after coming off a balcony, PM me for details).

I think you should look at what happened between you and your brother again - I'd be interested to know more details, but you only have a very limited number of siblings - and believe me they make much better friends than foes. Part of your 'new lease on life' should involve fixing that relationship - while you still can, before you both go your separate ways in life angry at each other.

[2.2 Straight six]

This "new lease of life" never lasts long.

Seen it happen so many times with other people, been there before. It wears off rather quick.


Sorry to piss on your parade.

[fredjacksonsan]

Originally Posted by ericn1300

From the facts above it sounds like his act of self defense was justified and that the forgiveness you seek needs to be accompanied by the acknowledgment that you were at least equally responsible if not the instigator. Forgiveness is not something to be expected of everyone, hatred or animosity in a case like yours is more the norm, but with the grace of God I hope you find the true meaning of forgiveness.

Forgiveness, yes, but come ON. His brother came after him with a KNIFE.

[Toksin]

Ah, but he did antagonise him.

[fredjacksonsan]

Originally Posted by Toksin

Ah, but he did antagonise him.

Hmmm, let's see I wouldn't try to kill any of my brothers because they antagonized me, and neither would they. Sure, we had plenty of dust ups but no one every pulled a deadly weapon with intent to use it. THAT is the difference I'm talking about.

[Oz]

Originally Posted by 2.2 Straight six

This "new lease of life" never lasts long.

Seen it happen so many times with other people, been there before. It wears off rather quick.


Sorry to piss on your parade.

Written with the true arrogance of a teenager. You don't know everything. Sorry to piss on your parade.

Back to you, -Davo.

[2.2 Straight six]

Originally Posted by Oz

You don't know everything.

Likewise.

Maybe you just have more faith in people than i do.