The Points System

[Oz]

>> > > This explains why we men can't win!
>> > > In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman
>>happy.
>> >Do something she likes, and you get points.
>> > > Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get
>>any
>> > > points for doing something she expects.
>> > > Here is a guide to the points system:
>> > >
>> > > SIMPLE DUTIES
>> > >
>> > > You make the bed...+1
>> > > You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative
pillows...0
>> > > You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...-1
>> > > You leave the toilet seat up...-5
>> > > You replace the toilet paper roll when it is
empty...0
>> > > When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to
Kleenex...-1
>> > > When the Kleenex runs out you use the next
bathroom... -2
>> > > You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with
wings... +5
>> > > In the snow...+8
>> > > But return with beer...-5
>> > > And no liners...-25
>> > > You check out a suspicious noise at night...0
>> > > You check out a suspicious noise and it is
nothing...0
>> > > You check out a suspicious noise and it is
something...+5
>> > > You pummel it with a six iron...+10
>> > > It's her cat...-40
>> > >
>> > > AT THE PARTY
>> > >
>> > > You stay by her side the entire party...0
>> > > You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat
with a college
>> >drinking buddy...-2
>> > > Named Tiffany...-4
>> > > Tiffany is a dancer...-10
>> > > With breast implants...-18
>> > >
>> > > HER BIRTHDAY
>> > >
>> > > You remember her birthday...0
>> > > You buy a card and flowers...0
>> > > You take her out to dinner...0
>> > > You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports
bar...+1
>> > > Okay, it is a sports bar...-2
>> > > And it's all-you-can-eat night...-3
>> > > It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and
your face is
>>painted
>> >the colours of your favourite team ...-10
>> > >
>> > > A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
>> > >
>> > > Go with a pal...0
>> > > The pal is happily married...+1
>> > > The pal is single...-7
>> > > He drives a Ferrari.... -10
>> > > With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)...-15
>> > >
>> > > A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
>> > >
>> > > You take her to a movie...+2
>> > > You take her to a movie she likes...+4
>> > > You take her to a movie you hate...+6
>> > > You take her to a movie you like.....-2
>> > > It's called Death Cop III...-3
>> > > Which features Cyborgs that eat humans...-9
>> > > You lied and said it was a foreign film about
orphans...-15
>> > >
>> > > YOUR PHYSIQUE
>> > >
>> > > You develop a noticeable potbelly...-15
>> > > You develop a noticeable potbelly & exercise to get
rid of it...+10
>> > > You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to
loose jeans and baggy
>> >Hawaiian shirts...-30
>> > > You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one
too."...-800
>> > >
>> > > THE BIG QUESTION
>> > >
>> > > She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
>> > > You hesitate in responding...-10
>> > > You reply, "Where?"...-35
>> > > You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"...-100
>> > > Any other response...-20
>> > >
>> > > COMMUNICATION
>> > >
>> > > When she wants to talk about a problem:
>> > > You listen, displaying a concerned expression...0
>> > > You listen, for over 30 minutes...+5
>> > > You relate to her problem and share a similar
experience...+ 50
>> > > You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear
her saying,
>>"well,
>> >what do you think I should do?"...-100
>> > > You have fallen asleep...-200
>> > >
>> > > ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
>> > >
>> > > You talk...-100
>> > > You don't talk.... -150
>> > > You spend time with her...-200
>> > > You don't spend time with her...-500
>> > > You seem to be enjoying yourself...-1000
>> > >
>> > > GAME OVER - YOU LOSE

[freakray]

At least now I know why I never seem to win......

[Sanchi]

ACK who ever said being a guy was ez :cry:

[Toksin]

Oz clears everything up. ALL HAIL OZ!

[Diesel2NR]

:huh: no wonder I can't get a girlfriend...All hail Oz!!

[taranaki]

Why is it that when a woman finds her 'perfect' man,as soon as she marries him,she tries to change him,and continues to do so until she no longer likes what he becomes?

[SiRI]

AHhaah, isnt that the whole truth :silly2: