Dating Today. Debate.

[DVSNCYNIKL]

I was driving in to work today, when the radio DJ brought up an interesting topic of discussion. I thought I would pose this debate in here and see what the general consensus was. Please keep smart ass remarks out as I want to keep this clean and to the point. I will delete your post if you go astray. No offense, but I want to seriously see the mindset of today's youth. I wouldn't mind hearing the older generation, but I kinda think that the topic will probably affect more the younger crowd then old as you well know, the older you get, the less you care about materialistic things and such.

Now to the topic. Today, more and more teens and early 20's generation have become obsessed with dating someone more well off than they are. By this, I mean, girls will only date guys that have money, expensive cars, etc., and vice versa for the guys. No one really looks into the person that they are dealing with and thus, don't think about the future much. I myself, used to be this way and now look back at all the things that I did and wonder, what if I had the opportunity to do it over again. Reason is because more than half the chicks I dealt with were either one night stands or just someone to pass the time with. But now that I am in a serious relationship, I find that a lot of the things that I kept to myself, I'm more susceptible to share them with my girl than what I am normally accustomed to. I really don't care what anyone thinks of me and thus, only need internal satisfaction. If it makes me happy, than so be it. The days of impressing people are long gone. So what I want to know is, to those in the dating scene and those who look to "fit" in today's dating scene, What do you look forward to in let's say a few years down the line? Not saying it is wrong to date for materialistic needs and such, but how far do you think you could go with someone else's property.

Let the debating begin.

[Psman32@af]

I look more into who there person is and not at what they own, and for the most part, not what they look like. The only thing that i wan in looks is someone who has a cute face. And when it comes to cars and that, I dont care what they drive as long as its not like a festiva or other really tiny car. I look more to the furture than i look at the persent. That is probaly part of the reason i havent been out on a date in like a year and a half. And also, id like to have someone that I could talk to at anytime about anything. The other thing that i care about is that the other person would be happy with the relationship that we had. I hate to see people that dont like the relationship they are in. These are my thoughts at the moment. This is also a little hard for me to awsner because I've never had a really serious relationship.

[DVSNCYNIKL]

But then let me reverse the role a bit. Let's say you are well off, you own a big house, 4 cars, really good job, and not a care in the world. Now, there is this girl that has the hots for you like crazy, would do anything for you. Only problem is, she is poor, less fortunate, cannot mingle in the areas that you do. Do you give this girl the opportunity, or do you shun her off because she is below your standards or societal bracket?

I think you will now see where I'm going with this.

[primera man]

I agree with you DVS. To many people are more worried about the way they look, who they date etc.
People need to be taken for who they are and not what they are.

The world we live in pump's the younger kids up with stupid ideas on how to look and plays on a young persons mind.
They have to be with the in crowd in case you are seen as the nerd.

Money is good, but it does not mean you will be happy in your life.

With my lady...i look forward to being happy and secure in the way i feel and dont feel like either one of us have to impress each other.

I have never tryed to change her,and hope she never does change just to suit me. It's important to keep that person just the way they are.

[Porsche]

I agree with PM, about the chanigng part. As for me I look for someine who is good looking, and has a personality. As for money, intelligence and anytihng else, well I really don't care. I just want someone I like, and can talk too.

If I was a rich bastard, well then maybe certain things may change, but I'd still go for whatever girl was out there, money would just help us both out in the end. It makes life easier, but not always more fun. So basically, I do'nt have Ultra-Strict Criteria, but I do have expectations.

Sorry, this is an edit, but I also feel that today, people don't love each other as they might have 30 years ago, there's almost more divorced people than there are married folk. So When I do get married (I will be 28+) It will be my only marriage, and I hope to god that it will work, I hate divorces, they shouldn't be allowed!

[Steel]

I never actaully knew that side of the debate, DVS. To me, it's always been aobut just who i liked, If she was attractive to me both physically and mentally. Monetary standards have never been an issue. Like, with my ex-girlfreind, who i'm sure all of you are sick of hearing about (and yes, i still want her back...) She comes from a "lower-class" family. Not by much, But i guess people would consider my family as "upper echelon". Didnt make a difference to me. Even if she was living in a run down duplex, It would't make her any less beautiful, or dumber. Ah, i think i may have missed the point, but those are my thoughts. I'm 17 btw, so i guess i count as todays youth.

[primera man]

Porsche.....you are dead right about the marriage bit. These days it's far to easy just to walk away at the first bit of trouble.
It is hard today though. People have to work to make ends meet. The days of the man going off to work to earn the money while the lady stayed home to bring up the family are will gone.
This is one of the main reasons for break-ups.
Very little time is spent as a family due to work.

[speediva]

Okay, I'm at the prime age of 19 here, and I must say that I do NOT look for guys (I'm not gay, I'm a girl ) with killer cars or heeps of money. I don't come from a wealthy family by any standards. I'm paying my way through college. I bought my car. I pay my own insurance. I buy my own clothes. I don't expect someone to take care of me, so I suppose that may be why I don't look for someone to do everything for me. (Yes, I'm also insanely stubborn, for those who don't know) I have every intention of dating, and now that I'm in my second year of college, I'm starting to hone in on what I want out of life. I want to be married by 27, have my first child by 29, etc. Two of my three serious relationships were going in search of "the one" and the most recent "loss" was the most promising yet... At any rate, that's my female take on this whole debate...

[Heep]

OK, it's gonna take way too much effort to read all those posts, so I'm just replying to DVS's question, if I say something that been said already, then oh well.

I, for one, don't care how well off any girl I like is. I pay for most things myself, so I'm used to it. And I plan to make my own money for the rest of my life, hopefully I'll get rich, but I don't need rich parent-in-laws to do it.

[Psman32@af]

If I'm rich and i really like a girl who is poor, I'd still ask her out. Money doesn't mean anything to me. Money cant buy happiness, howver having a friend for life with you can.

[Twist]

I am not in a relationship right now, so I can't answer per se, but what I look for in a girl does not include money. I look for a sense of humor, common sense and for the ability to put up with me. Sadly not many girls I know possess these traits! However, I wouldn't mind paying for somebody if I was rich. (Course, I wouldn't be rich long. Ferrari's!notice plural! j/k). But I wouldn't want to make it seem like I'm in the relationship to make myself feel good (here I am a rich guy and I'm dating a poor girl. Look how cool I am). To a certain degree I would mind if I was "leeching" off a richer person. Of course, as a guy, I would be paying most of the time (or expected to), so dating a rich girl that paid for everything would be weird (at least to me). I'm a big proponent of just living and forgetting about your circumstances. It's completely possible to go on a date and enjoy yourself for $0. Being around some one you love is, to borrow a slogan, "priceless."

[gang$tarr]

Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL
Only problem is, she is poor, less fortunate, cannot mingle in the areas that you do. Do you give this girl the opportunity, or do you shun her off because she is below your standards or societal bracket?

this is probably going to sound really bad, but i wouldn't have any serious relationship with the girl. It's just the way i've been brought up, everyone of my friends belong to a country club, etc. etc.
I can't be seen with a person that is alot under me, but this wouldn't really happen to me cause i'm never in the same area as less fortunate people

most of the girls i have done anything with notice my stunning good looks before the money though
right now i'm not even looking for a serious relationship, i'm just lookin to have fun, cause it's not like i'm going to marry any girl i meet when i'm 17. That's why the main thing i look for in a girl right now is good looks, so i can show up my friends, hehe i don't really care if a girl's dumb, cause so am i, so it kinda works out
i'm with one girl then with the next, whatever

[DVSNCYNIKL]

I for one look to someone who is going to make me happy. In all the years that I've dated, I've been around 'em all and have to say that, in the end, no matter what your status is, you won't be happy with someone who is materialistic. My take on it is, if they are more focused on material things and things of that nature, there is no room for you. When I met my girlfriend soon to be fiance, we clicked. Now, she is more fortunate than I. I am the type that if you are someone that has more than me, I won't even bother with you because you're probably gonna look down on me. To even have it happen would be worse. However, with my girl, it just happened and that was it. Not once has anything that has come to us ever mattered. We do things together, she looks out for me and vice versa. Even now as my situation isn't that good, she is supporting me, mentally(no, I'm not crazy). She is always positive, which is more than me in every way. I'm more of a realist and therefore, look at what is concrete in front of me.

In all times, she has kept me at peace. She really takes care of me and I would be foolish to let her slip away. I don't know, maybe it's the age or what, but, nowadays I see all these youths bling, blinging and whipping there new "daddy and mommy purchased" car. And guys/girls all going in for it like, hey, this guy must be cool!

Maybe I'm being to critical, but it bothers me to see this. I have a lot of friends all over. They all come and talk to me because of the advice I give them. I've heard it all from "I thought he/she loved me" to "I didn't think he/she was like that." I hate to say it, but, if the guy/girl is an asshole, what did you expect? Girls like the playa type, then come crying later when they get played. Like the guy was going to be different with them, same thing for the guys. In the end, you look for someone that will treat you and make you feel right.

Anyone else care to debate?

[primera man]

Very true words DOC.
It is very important that you click when you first meet. I think you can tell soon enough if its the real thing or if your just a stepping stone for something better.

I once dated a girl from a very very rich family that would have done anything for us. Meaning that they would buy us cars/house wedding etc etc. I know it sounds good and i would have been set up for life.....but the bottom line was that we didnt get on and she was just plain stupid and i couldnt handle that.

You need someone who cares about you the same as you do for them.

[Twist]

I guess what it comes down to is who are you dating: the girl (in my case) or her stuff?