do americans have a sense of humour??/

[aussieidiot]

the other day i had to ring Trend Micro about their anti virus software. i called an australian number but ended up talking to an american in Minneapolis? (too many states starting with M when you don't really care)

So anyhoo, as i was an irate customer who had been on hold for ages and also been cut off before someone actually answered the call, i decided to have some fun.
after i explained my problem with their software, i asked if they could recommend a software that works. we dabated for awhile.
then i asked what the guy:
1) what he was wearing. (t-shirt and jeans)
2)where he was from. (some state starting with M)
3)was the weather hot and steamy like my underpants. (is there anything else sir)
4)would he be my friend (no sir, can i help you with anything else)
5)if i came to america can i stay at his house. (no sir, can i help you with anything else)
6)has he ever kissed a guy (no sir, can i help you with anything else)
7)would he like too (no sir, can i help you with anything else)
8)how old he was (19)
9)does he have a girlfriend or special animal friend (no sir, can i help you with anything else)
10) does he have a dog that likes peanut butter

he didn't repsond to much. he avoided the questions and kept asking if there was anything else he could help me with. i responded by saying that they wasted so much of my time, i'm going to waste as much of his time as i could. he then kept saying he needed to terminate the call.
i then started saying :

but where best friends now
i'm going to kill myself if he hangs up the phone
can he recommend a good dentist
my dog has white fur
theres a blue car, we have blue cars here too you know but i drive a bus. its yellow


this goes on for ages until i get bored. but somehow the guy just didn't seem to find it at all amusing.

maybe its just me and my weird aussie humour. at least when aussie telemarketers call me they laugh

[speediva]

People in America take their jobs WAY too seriously... I know I do.

[richtazz]

The call was most likely recorded, and if he told you to go blow a wallaby like he wanted to, the PC police would have had him fired. I found your questions quite funny, and stating that you were wasting his time like they wasted yours makes it even funnier. You're a twisted man Aussie, I think that's why I like your posts so much.

['97ventureowner]

Those questions were probably out of the realm of his training for his position. I hate when I call a place for an issue and all I get is scripted answers. Most of the time I have already done what they suggest to do to solve the issue and hope to get somebody who can think "outside the box" and troubleshoot an answer for me. There have been a few occasions where I end up solving the problem or figuring it out myself, and I call back to let them know I solved it with no help from their end. ( Why is it I always get the problems to deal with that have no known cure from support? )
BTW when I originally saw the title of your thread I immediately thought of a good answer: Of course we Americans have a sense of humor, we kept G.W. Bush in office going on 8 years.

[richtazz]

BTW when I originally saw the title of your thread I immediately thought of a good answer: Of course we Americans have a sense of humor, we kept G.W. Bush in office going on 8 years.

That could show a sense of humor, or a lack of sense all-together! Those of us with a sense of humor have been sequestered by the politically correct police, so we don't offend anyone!

[speediva]

Of course... why didn't I think of it before?!?!

Sign located on the side of the road in Washington, D.C. - that I forgot to take a picture of yesterday when I was there so I found it online:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/deepsignal/379963514/

It's almost as amusing as the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good, Too.

[caddydaddy]

I read a similar scenario where a guy called the Dell tech support, which is in India. He's asking the guy how's the weather, where's he from, what's it like in India, etc. And the Dell guy just kept his cool and business like attitude with the crank caller! So it must be a corporate thing where the calls are recorded, so they can't be @$$holes to everyone.

[aussieidiot]

i get a lot of telemarketing calls due to my work phone number. except they can never tell me what number they dialed.

so i have a range of responses from quoting "the simpsons" (eg. " You'll have to speak up, i'm wearing a towel"

to pretending to be a homocide detective and getting their details as a "suspect"


but usually its more fun to pretend to be retarded. that comes more naturally to me for some reason

[richtazz]

Working in the auto parts industry, I deal with retards all the time. From getting the right make of car (my favorite is the Pontiac GOOOLE, which is actually a 6000 Le, they actually spell it out G-O-O-O-L-E you'd think the 3 O's in a row would clue them in), and any of the many names for the Chevy Lumina (Luminous, Alumina, Aluminum, Lunima).

I had a customer with a random stall/no start issue on a Chevy Truck. I suggested the ignition module as a possible cause and asked if he'd checked for spark or had it tested. He said no, but insisted that it couldn't be his issue after he heard the price. After a long frustrating conversaiton, I told him it was because his tailpipe is rusted out. He paused, then said a rusted tailpipe would have nothing to do with his truck stalling. I said I agree, but since every other suggestion I made had not been checked but "couldn't be the problem", I decided it was the tailpipe. He never even realized he was being ragged on!!

[aussieidiot]

I'm a sparky by trade but am now working in the parking system industry so i see all sorts of idiots in carparks.

my favourite is when BMW's or Mercedes driver come up to me while i'm working (usually wearing ear muffs) and ask where to park. I reply "maam/sir, as a BMW/Mercedes owner, I'm please to inform you of a dedicated area on level (insert highest level of multistorey carpark here) just for prestige vehicles." they fall for it everytime.


recently been working at a hospital where we've had to dig the road up to lay fibre optics, cctv and intercom cabling. I'll be doing traffic control and direct ambulances over special plates while we dig. nurse's will always drive straight up and demand to be let through (despite the major trench across the road. last week i had a nurse demand to be let through as she had an important meeting. we debated for awhile before she drove straight through the barricades and into the trench. then tried to blame us for unsafe work enviroment and expected us to get her car out. we chased her for loss of productivity and fined for disobeying a traffic controller.