Engrish refresher course....

[taranaki]

Cocktail lounge, Norway:

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest zoo:

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT

TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctors office, Rome:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco:

THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:

COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM,

PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:

WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM

MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE

HIM WITH VIGOUR.

Sign in men's rest room in Japan:

TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT

In a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a private school:

NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

On an Athi River highway:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a London restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

One of the Mathare buildings:

MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:

DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a Pumwani maternity ward:

NO BABIES ALLOWED.

In a cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN

GRAVES.

Sign in Japanese public bath:

FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN

BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

In a Bangkok temple:

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:

PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.

Hotel brochure, Italy:

THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM

ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:

THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET

THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Hotel elevator, Paris:

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET

COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:

NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF

ASCENSION.

Taken from a menu, Poland:

SALAD OUR FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN

THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE

COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:

FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

From the "Soviet Weekly":

THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC

PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.

In an East African newspaper:

A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE

THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

Hotel, Vienna:

IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF

DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT

UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich:

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN

THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

A laundry in Rome:

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD

TIME.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:

TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

In a Swiss mountain inn:

SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:

IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.

[kicker1_solo]

Originally posted by taranaki
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

[Ssom]

this thread is very






riiiiiiiiiiihhhhhttttttttttttt..tttttttt

[Neutrino]

Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi
this thread is very

riiiiiiiiiiihhhhhttttttttttttt..tttttttt

Straight to the point Moss style.

[taranaki]

Originally posted by Moss1O6GTi
this thread is very






riiiiiiiiiiihhhhhttttttttttttt..tttttttt

this post is very weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird

[Ssom]

Originally posted by taranaki


this post is very weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird

j00 is very gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaysauce:finger:







j/p :silly2:

[Jonno]

:huh:

[higgimonster]

all your base are belong to us

[Deakins]

http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/ayb4.swf

[ci5ic]

All your smurf are belong to us:
http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/...lyoursmurf.swf

All your Mr. T are belong to us:
http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/slp29/mrt.swf

[taranaki]

Linkee no workee.Linkee suckee!

[ci5ic]

Originally posted by taranaki
Linkee no workee.Linkee suckee!

I think their server is having problems at the current time...

[ragt20]

funny stuff Mr T