Am I being overly female?

[lakwo]

Ok here's my predicament or maybe its not. Since this is a mostly male forum I thought getting a guys take on my situation would help me. I have been friends with this guy for the past two years. We've officially dated for about a year. He has this femaile co-worker "friend". Although I'm not so sure its just a friendship. According to him it is. He goes to her house to watch ultimate fighting (a group of them not just him and her), they go to these ultimate fight matches, with other people of course BUT they always seem to be sitting with each other. There is just a whole host of other things like that. So I ask him about her long time ago. He said he is attracted to her personality and that type of personality makes him stupid. But he also tells me that I have absolutely nothing to worry about where she is concerned. On the other hand, none of his friends know that he and I are dating. He hasn't told anyone at work that he has a girlfriend. And to top it all of, I just happened to see this girl one time at the store. She is under the impression that he has a relationship with her. He recently went to Las Vegas. He was out there for two weeks volunteering at a flim festival. She says it was planned between them that she would go out there. He says she stayed in a completely different hotel and he never stepped foot in her hotel. He did get her and her friends into a party but they were all there together. Like she said they were going to be. So if he says they are just friends, why is she telling me that she is under the impression that they are in a dating relationship? Do I have a right to be suspicious that something else is going on? I've never had any reason in the past to doubt him except that in this case everything that she is telling me SEEMS to be true and eventually he seems to confirm it. Although his version is always an innocent version. I don't tell him what she's told me, I just let it go until it happens to come up in our conversation. I figure if its true it will come out of his mouth eventually without me making a big scene. Am I reading too much into this and just being overly female?

[BrodyP]

Originally Posted by lakwo

On the other hand, none of his friends know that he and I are dating. He hasn't told anyone at work that he has a girlfriend.

[Knifeblade]

[quote=lakwo]. But he also tells me that I have absolutely nothing to worry about where she is concerned. On the other hand, none of his friends know that he and I are dating. He hasn't told anyone at work that he has a girlfriend.



A lightbulb should be burning here.

[beef_bourito]

yeah that's a big red flag. who doesn't at least let his friends know he's got a girlfriend? something smells fishy.

[Knifeblade]

Ayep, beef, very much so.

Lakwo, hear what we are implying?

Simple, cut to chase, he not acknowledging you as a girlfriend. Or do you expect him too? mayhaps he doesn't see or want it that way with you.

[lakwo]

He is the one who wanted to elevate our status of friends to a dating relationship. I do see the red flags. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't reading too much into anything. His best friend knows we are dating and I've met him. If that counts for anything.

[GaryBrown]

You sound like an intelligent girl, too intelligent to have a guy playing it both ways. It just does not sound up and up, not what you want to hear. You deserve a guy who will not hang out with the girls, unless you are always part of the group.

[Dyno247365]

Originally Posted by GaryBrown

You sound like an intelligent girl, too intelligent to have a guy playing it both ways. It just does not sound up and up, not what you want to hear. You deserve a guy who will not hang out with the girls, unless you are always part of the group.

...infomercial much? I know you don't want to hear this but everyone here is right, for the record, every guy knows every girl their friend has met, and even more so that guys will be quick to hide it from woman around them, so it sounds like he's playing you.

[stieh2000]

Originally Posted by GaryBrown

You sound like an intelligent girl, too intelligent to have a guy playing it both ways. It just does not sound up and up, not what you want to hear. You deserve a guy who will not hang out with the girls, unless you are always part of the group.

Have you discovered a loophole around a spam ban by also posting on-topic?

Back on topic, you are correct in being at least suspiscous.

[2.2 Straight six]

if you're wondering why i edited your posts, it was to remove the spam.

[jon@af]

Did you hear directly from her that she is under the impression that they are in a dating relationship? Because if that's the case, I would drop him right now. The fact that he's not acknowledging you as his girlfriend (as has already been stated) is another sign that should be tipping you off.

It could be a few things: He could be just too stupid to understand how a relationship works, which I have seen before or he could be trying to play you (which seems to be the current consensus). If you like this guy and think he's worth giving a shot, talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. You've been together as a couple for over a year so this should be something that you feel comfortable doing in the first place. Let him know that you're not comfortable with the way he talks about her and the way he spends time with her and ESPECIALLY with the way that he doesn't tell her that he's already in a committed relationship. The same goes with the people he works with. If he continues to give you bullshit answers as to why he hasn't done these things, my guess is he doesn't want to have the attachments the a relationship has and would rather be friends with benefits.

Don't be afraid of trying to get what you want out of your relationship. It's just as much your right as it is his and just as much his responsibility to be accomodating as it is yours, which I think you have been more than enough of.

[Knifeblade]

yeah, what I said, LOL.

[ShadowWulf2K]

He's cheatin'.

Step 1: Dump him
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit

You can't lose!

P.S.: Try to separate your paragraphs, it's hard to read that wall of text. Mentally, I read it like a girl is talking really fast to me.

[replicant_008]

Originally Posted by ShadowWulf2K

P.S.: Try to separate your paragraphs, it's hard to read that wall of text. Mentally, I read it like a girl is talking really fast to me.

I think it is a girl that is talking really fast...

Seriously, move on and find someone else...