God is real. True or False

[kris]

Not to upset anyone or start any arguements but this is just how i look at the whole thing.

This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a
well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

"Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want
to kiss his ass?"
John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, he'll give you a million dollars; and if you
don't, he'll kick the sh!t out of you."
Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"
John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns
this town. He can do what ever he wants, and what he wants is to give you a
million dollars, but he can't until you kiss his ass."
Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars?
Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"
Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"
Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."
Me: "And has he given you a million dollars?"
John: "Well no, you don't actually get the money until you leave town."
Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"
Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money,
and he kicks the sh!t out of you."
Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million
dollars?"
John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and
I'm sure she got the money."
Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"
John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
Me: "So what makes you think he'll actually give you the money if you've
never talked to anyone who got the money?"
Mary: "Well, he gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a
raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty dollar
bill on the street."
Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?
John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'"
Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And
remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass he'll kick the sh!t of you."
Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to him, get the details straight from
him..."
Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
Me: "Then how do you kiss his ass?"
John: "Sometimes we just blow him a kiss, and think of his ass. Other times
we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."
Me: "Who's Karl?"
Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's
ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that
Hank wanted you to kiss his ass, and that Hank would reward you?"
John: "Oh no! Karl's got a letter Hank sent him years ago explaining the
whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."

John handed me a photocopy of a handwritten memo on From the desk of Karl
letterhead. There were eleven items listed:

From the Desk of Karl

1. Kiss Hank's ass and he'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
2. Use alcohol in moderation.
3. Kick the sh!t out of people who aren't like you.
4. Eat right.
5. Hank dictated this list himself.
6. The moon is made of green cheese.
7. Everything Hank says is right.
8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9. Don't drink.
10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
11. Kiss Hank's ass or he'll kick the sh!t out of you.

Me: "This would appear to be written on Karl's letterhead."
Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."
Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."
Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
Mary: "Not now, but years ago he would talk to some people."
Me: "I thought you said he was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist
kicks the sh!t out of people just because they're different?"
Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."
Me: "How do you figure that?"
Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hanks says is right.' That's good enough for
me!"
Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."
John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2
says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says
'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things
are right, so the rest must be true, too."
Me: "But 9 says 'Don't Drink,' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says
'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."
John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far
as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."
Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of
rock..."
Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of
space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."
Me: "I'm not really an expert, but not knowing where the rock came from
doesn't make it cheese."
John: "Aha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank
is always right!"
Me: "We do?"
Mary: "Of course we do, Item 5 says so."
Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is
right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the
list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right
because he says he's right.'"
John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to
Hank's way of thinking."
Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"

Mary blushes. John says: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way.
Anything else is wrong."
Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"
John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."
Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"

Mary looks positively stricken. John shouts: "There's no need for such
language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"
Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be
out of the question?"


Mary sticks her fingers in her ears: "I am not listening to this. La la la,
la la, la la la."
John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."
Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."

Mary faints. John catches her: "Well, if I'd known you where one of those I
wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the sh!t out of you I'll be
there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you
bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."

[Trigger351]

Well I personly dont think Hank is real


100

[^YellowBandit^]

Did this really happen? If so, Hank sucks big floppy donkey dick.

[Mrcoilover]

NO if's, and's, or butts about it.

[kris]

Originally posted by Mrcoilover
NO if's, and's, or butts about it.

How do you really know?

[Mrcoilover]

Originally posted by kbslacker


How do you really know?

How else did we get life?

[MBTN]

Evolution, jerky, but now is no time to be talking about this crap, we already discussed it in the philosphy forum.

[Mrcoilover]

Yeah. WE evolved. But did we just appear on earth? It's ok b/c now u
may not believe in him....but you will when he comes back. ha ha

[MBTN]

Just shut up, you're wrong. You think we popped out of thin air. Then who created God? You can't get something for nothing. BYE!

[Mrcoilover]

very funny. you just don't know. There has got to be something u believe in. Did you think aliens created man, or man created man. Come on now. You think the Bible is full of it. You are just misguided.
You'll understand sooner or later. Just takes time.

:finger:

[Racing Rice]

Its like this... There is no solid proof to answer this question. All we have are paper writings and what you believe in. If you believe in him then fine, if not then fine too..

So to answer the question it is both true and/or false. Depending on the person answering it.

If you can say prove that there is. I can say prove that there isnt. What will that get you.. nothing but an endless circle of conversation.

[Mrcoilover]

good point RacingRice . I rather die believing in something. I
believe there is a GOD b/c I am here right now living and breathing. Some great being made everthing. It didn't just appear. MBTN
said that we evolved. hmmm we can't evolve from nothing. I don't have
to prove anything. What Jesus said I believe. He said he is the son of
GOD, and I believe. No other religion has said that their 'Lord' was the son of GOD except Jesus. So everyone can believe what they want and
we will just see what happens at the end of the story then huh.

[Racing Rice]

I read the philsophy forum to see if MBTN had any hardcore proof.. And not once did I see anything that proved anything other then him sitting there saying.. "Im right and your wrong"...

All I have say is sorry I still dont believe you.

[Sleepy]

i belive in god but i dont belive in relgion!

[Mrcoilover]

you believe in some "greater being" or some kind of "creator".